Page 1 of Daddy to Go

1

Abby

“You really need to stop panicking,” my best friend Mary scolded as she sat on the phone with me for the tenth straight minute of panic. “This is something that women get done all the time. I mean, there’s probably some ridiculous statistic out there that says every minute five thousand women get poked and prodded by a gynecologist.”

I looked down at my hands, clutched securely to the steering wheel. I was white knuckling. White knuckling seemed to come with the territory whenever a doctor’s appointment loomed into view.

“I know, I know,” I said with a sigh. “It’s just that I’ve never had anything intherebefore. This is my first gyn appointment.”

“Which is ridiculous,” Mary snapped. “You’re twenty. I got my first one at sixteen. Besides, it’s not all about the badump-badump. You have to have those ta-tas checked too, woman!”

“But I heard it’s going to hurt,” I whined. “I saw the pictures. They take this long metal tool and stick it up … well, you know where.”

Immediately my thighs clenched together, and my fingers began to ache from being so tightly wrapped around the steering wheel. I could barely keep the phone stuck between my cheek and shoulder but there was no way I was prying my frigid hands from the crumbling leather of my Toyota Camry’s wheel.

“It is uncomfortable, I told you that,” Mary said with exhaustion. “But like I said, you should be more concerned with making sure you have your breasts examined. That is no laughing manner. Your family has that –” She snapped her fingers. “What’s it called? The Angelina Jolie cancer gene. At least they most likely do, and you’ve been too afraid to get that test done too.”

“Yeah, I know,” I whispered, looking over at the small picture of my deceased grandmother that hung from the rearview mirror. “I guess you’re right.”

“I am, and you’ll realize that it’s not that terrible,” she said comfortingly. “Now put your big girl panties on, get your ass out there, and go to the appointment. Call me later to tell me how right I am.”

I chuckled, loosening the grip on the column. “Okay. Thanks, hun.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she laughed. “Thank me when you’re done.”

Mary hung up the phone and I finally released the faux leather wheel, dropping my phone onto the seat beside me. I tapped my foot on the floorboard and looked up in the rearview mirror. There was a blob of chocolate from the milkshake I nervously woofed down on the way over, stuck to the corner of my mouth. I wiped it away and sighed, pulling my sweater down tightly.

Of course, it wouldn’t stay that way because my boobs are too huge for the damn thing. Nonetheless, the thick material made me feel more secure, like it was armor against prying eyes. So be it. It was a false security, but worth the scratchy, hot wool.

I took the keys out of the ignition and took in a long deep breath. “You can do this, Abby. One foot in front of the other and before you know it, you’ll be done.”

I gave myself a solid head nod and flung the car door open, glad that I parked in an outside space so I wouldn’t have to squeeze my swinging hips sideways to get down the row. The parking lot was full of vehicles but no one was out walking around. Well, except for a very pregnant woman with her husband frantically scampering beside her, holding her purse while patting her hand.

Well, I was probably off better than the pregnant lady. She looked hugely uncomfortable, as if there was a giant watermelon in her tummy. At least at that moment I didn’t have to schlep around another human being inside of me while waddling like a duck.

Carefully I stepped up onto the sidewalk and meandered as slow as I could go without looking suspicious. Walking along the pathway I glanced down at the red blooming flowers and the groomed and mulched shrubbery. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was perfectly done to create a false sense of comfort before getting probed with a cold metal tool.

Just then the door flew open and a woman came out on her phone with an annoyed expression on her face.

“Yeah, I just got done. No biggie, just had to check the lady bits. Yeah, I’m on my way back to the office.”

I stepped to the side to let her pass but she didn’t even notice I was there. If she could be so nonchalant about it, I should have nothing to worry about, right? I wish it was that easy to convince myself of that fact. I grabbed the door before it shut and walked in, looking to my right at the sliding glass wall with a receptionist in scrubs sitting behind the counter.

Meanwhile, to my left was the waiting room where four or five women sat. They were accompanied by a couple of guys awkwardly sitting there with their eyes glued to a silent TV. The place was actually not as scary as I thought. There were colorful paintings on the walls, a pleasant low music playing overhead, and the seats looked comfortable. It was definitely not the institutional green walls and fluorescent lighting I had been expecting.

Twisting my lips, I walked up to the window and smiled, waiting for the receptionist to push it open.

“How can I help you?” she asked in a kind tone.

It took me a second to get my voice. “Yes, I have an appointment to see Dr. McNamara.”

The secretary looked at me funny, almost puzzled. I immediately reached into my purse and pulled out an appointment card, handing it over to her. “I made the appointment two months ago.”

She took the card and tapped on the computer for a moment. “I see. They should have called you because Dr. McNamara actually went on vacation. I apologize, she must have scheduled her vacation after you made this appointment, and we forgot to give you a ring.”

“Darn,” I said, secretly delighted. Yay, I’d get to reschedule! Thank goodness!

“Well, hold on,” the secretary said, typing again on the computer.