Page 58 of Daddy to Go

“You might not have done anything to medirectly, but indirectly you’ve ruined my life,” she spat with a hateful look in her eyes. “You always got all of the attention. Everyone liked you, and it’s not fair.”

I didn’t know what she was talking about. I’ve been unpopular my entire life, and a wallflower when it came to dating and men. But Melody went on, obviously having built up this anger for years.

“Mom likes you better. You were smart and she thought that I was just silly.Everyonelikes you better. Meanwhile, they think I’m a joke because next to you, how could I ever even compete? All the boys wanted to date you.”

I stood listening to her with disbelief.

“Melody, I don’t know what you’re talking about. No one ever liked me better. I was always an outcast. I was always the girl that was quiet and read books. How can you say that?”

Melody stood up straight and shrugged her shoulders sinking back into her unfeeling persona.

“Because even though we were both fat, all the boys liked you. Sure, you didn’t go out on dates, but that was because you were clueless and couldn’t even tell that they liked you. It was ridiculous. Even when you got huge, people still wanted to date you, like that stupid Derek McHutt. You were nine months pregnant, and he was still asking about you! What the hell? Why didn’t he want me?”

I blinked at Melody, not really sure what she was talking about. I’d had little to no contact with Derek in the past year, and he certainly never reached out to me. But somehow, my sister had gotten it in her head that I was thwarting her in some way when it came to dating. I took a deep breath.

“Melody, you’re wrong. Until Ryder, there wasn’t a single boy that was interested in me. I never got asked out on dates. In fact, I was a virgin until I met Ryder. I feel like you’re seeing something that’s not real.”

Melody stomped her foot and grew red in the face.

“You’re wrong! Everyone liked you and it’s not fair!” She lost it right then and there and began screaming incessantly at the top of her lungs. “It’s not fair! It’s not fair! It’s not fair!”

I stepped back, slightly frightened by how worked up she was. She seemed like she was losing it, so I waved my hands in the air trying to calm her down.

“Melody think about it. Boys weren’t interested in me. Not then or now.”

My sister grunted, still red-faced and emitting spittle. “Oh yeah? What about Derek? He liked you.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “That’s nothing, and you know nothing ever happened with Derek. If he asked a couple questions about me, then so what? It was because he knew I was pregnant and alone, and that the father had left town. It wasn’t because he was interested.”

I paused, taking a deep breath.

“What’s gotten you like this? You’re seeing things that aren’t even there. You’re imagining that you’re a victim of some sort, when no one’s out to get you. I’m not trying to prove anything. Mom’s not trying to prove anything. No one is out to hurt you, Melody, so why are you acting like this?”

But my sister just couldn’t listen to reason. She’d worked herself up into a state where nothing made sense.

“That’s bullshit! Everyone likes you, even when it’s not romantic. I’m super nice to the people I work with, but theystilldon’t like me. No one cares whether I come to work or not. No one cares if something big is going on in my life. I don’t have a single friend.”

I took a deep breath, looking her straight in the eye.

“Melody, you can’t expect to meet real friends working at a strip club,” I pointed out. “It’s not you that is the problem. It’s the type of business that makes it impossible. Half the girls at that strip club are junkies, and the other half you wouldn’t want to be friends with because you would never be able to trust them. The people at my work are all family people. We’re friendly with one another because we’re that type of crowd.”

She scoffed and threw her hands in the air. Then, she turned around and walked toward the wall before punching it hard. Bending over in agony while clutching her fist, she flipped her head back up and literally snarled at me like an animal. Her teeth were bared, and there was venom in her eyes.

“You think you’re so special, Abby. You think your son is so special. Why? Because you fell in love with a doctor? Because you’re going to get out of Farmington? Think again, bitch. You know nothing.”

I took in a deep breath and shook my head.

“You’re right, I no longer know anything about you, Melody. And to be completely honest, I have no interest in knowing anything else about you anymore. You’ve betrayed my trust. You’ve gone against everything that Mom taught us. You’re fighting with me today because you think you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life. But that’s false, and you need to grow the hell up before karma catches up with you.”

With that, I shook my head and pushed past her, walking down the hallway toward the kitchen. My heart was heavy in my chest. I wanted to stay and talk to her, to try to calm her down, but the problem was that Melody’s issues ran much deeper. She needed to see a therapist and explore the root cause of her unhappiness with a professional. My words were useless, and I’d be wasting my breath.

With tears in my eyes, I walked back into the kitchen and smiled at Mattie, who was still sound asleep in his seat. I picked it up and made my way out of the house without a second glance. There was no more that I could do for my sister.

Once I was safely back in my own apartment, I carefully put the sleeping Mattie into his crib and covered him with a blanket. Then, I turned off the light and pulled the door almost closed. Back out in the apartment, I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on the couch.

With trembling hands, I took out Ryder’s letter. Was I ready to read it? Given the turmoil roiling through my chest, I wasn’t sure. But at the same time, I couldn’t put it off forever. With tears in my eyes, I unfolded the paper.

My dearest Abby,