Page 89 of CowSex

“And once again, I have no fucking clue what any of that means, Essex.”

She picks up her glass and sips her wine before leaning in and patting my cheek.

“Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, Cowboy. Not till your daughter’s about sixteen and wants one.”

“My daughter will never be walking around wearing something like that.”

“We’ll see. Now, how the fuck do I get in this thing without flashing me gash at you and the neighbours.”

I swear, this woman has no filter sometimes, and I fucking love it. I go to stand to help her in but remember in time that I’m naked, so just offer her my hand instead.

I had the hot tub built into the decking on the veranda, rather than on it. Stepping down is so much easier than climbing up. Gracie takes my proffered hand and steps in effortlessly. I’ve barely seen her all week, and so out of curiosity, I ask, “How’s the wrist?”

“Wrist is good. It’s been a little sore when I’m sketching, but it hasn’t stopped me. Even when it was bad, it didn’t really stop me drawing. It’s more when I lift anything too heavy or put weight on it that I know it’s there.”

She sits and gets comfortable beside me. I slide my arm across the back of the tub, behind her back and shoulders.

I watch her as she takes another sip of her wine. Her hair was loose when she went out earlier, but now it’s piled on her head in that cute as fuck bird’s nest style she rocks, and her face looks like it’s been scrubbed free of any trace of makeup.

“So, come on then, Cowboy, you wanna talk? Let’s talk.”

No filter, straight to the point.

“What are we doing here, Gracie? I want you so fucking bad, and I know you’re feeling it, too.”

I use my fingers to lift her jaw, effectively closing her mouth that just dropped open. I don’t think she was expecting me to be quite so direct.

My hand remains in place, and I brush my thumb gently across her cheek.

“We gonna spend the next six months fightin’ this, or act like grown-ups, give it a go, and see where it takes us?”

“No more late-night Lexi calls?”

“No late night anyone calls for me, baby, that’s not what I’m about. Can’t guarantee she won’t pick up the phone and dial my number, though. But I’ll deal with that if, or when, it ever happens.”

She pouts her lips and lets out a long breath.

“If we do this and it works, please promise you’ll not fight it out of fear? I’m not them, Koa. I’m nothing like your exes. There’s no ulterior motive with me. What you see is what you get, and I’m offering you everything.”

I stroke her shoulder as we stare at each other. Emotions riot through me. I’m so fucking torn.

“I’m scared, Gracie. I’ll be honest and admit that. I’m struggling here, and I hate it.”

“But why? I know you’ve been fucked over in the past, but please, please believe me when I say I’d never do that.”

“I want to. So fucking bad, but I know I’m gonna act like a dick at some stage and fuck things up. I don’t wanna hurt you, but I’m afraid I will without even meaning to, just by being me.”

She’s quiet for a long minute.

“Just be honest with me, Koa. If you’re happy and it’s working, tell me. If you’re struggling with what’s happening between us, then I need to know that, too. Don’t leave me wondering, we can’t do this with both of us inside our own heads, one of us needs to have their shit together.”

“I thought I did have my shit together, then you landed on my driveway.”

“I didn’t land, I was tackled and assaulted.”

“You assaulted me.”

“Whatever. So, we doing this?”