Page 69 of CowSex

I’m just a girl with a heart that feels all the feels and right now, those feels fucking hurt. If we’d actually had sex earlier and then his phone had rung, I think I’d be feeling a whole lot worse. In fact, I’m sure of it.

KOA

“HAVE YOU GOT SOMEONE THEREwith you?”

“Lexi, don’t do that.”

I’m not sure how I would describe Lex. We’ve been friends our whole lives. We made out a few times as teenagers, but then Danielle came along and started leading me around by my dick, and we all know how that ended.

After the accident, Lexi would come over and keep me company whenever she was home from college, and eventually, we started hooking up. The band began to make it big, and we drifted apart, but it’s remained a casual thing on and off over the years. She works as a makeup artist on location all over the world and usually calls whenever she’s nearby.

Last time I saw her was around two months ago, just before she headed off to Europe to work on some HBO series.

“What? Ask you a simple question?”

“Yeah. That’s not what we do. Not what we are.”

“What are we exactly, Koa?”

This was the third time Lexi has asked me this question. It’d been good with her for years. No questions. She never said a word when I married Lucy, wished me well and dropped off my radar. Not sure how she heard about our divorce, but as soon as it was finalised, she got back in touch, and at first, it was exactly as it was before. Casual. The last few times I’d seen her, though, I sensed a change. She’d spoken about moving back home, buying a place, and settling down. I’d been there and done that. It hadn’t worked out for me. Either time.

I wasn’t ever gonna even attempt to go there again, and Lexi knew this.

“I’m gonna hang up now.”

“No, don’t, please. I’m sorry. I’ve had a few wines.” Silence and then, “Who is she?”

Who is she? I’ve no fucking clue. A gorgeous English woman, who’s soft, curvy, covered in tattoos, has pink and purple hair, says a lot of strange things that I don’t understand, and can deliver a mean knee or foot to the balls that’s capable of incapacitating any man.

“No one you know.”

“Is it serious?”

I look towards the living room as I lean back against the kitchen counter. I’ve toed off my boots, pulled on my sweatpants, wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and am finally warm again.

“It’s...it’s complicated.”

“Complicated? The one thing you’ve never wanted. Especially from me.”

“Lexi.”

“Fuck you, Koa.”

She ends the call.

I finish my drink, refill my glass, and head back to where I left Gracie on the sofa, feeling like I’m losing my fucking mind.

She’s standing, about to exit the room I think, and stops mid-stride when she sees me.

“Night, Koa.”

What the fuck?

I hook my arm around her waist and pull her into me as she passes.

“Where the fuck you goin’, Essex?”

She looks at me briefly and then moves her gaze up and over my shoulder and then down to my chest. Her eyes are everywhere except where I want them to be, which is on mine.