Page 60 of CowSex

I think I so desperately wanted him to be the one that I convinced myself for a while that he actually was. Now, I wasn’t so sure he ever had been.

“About eight weeks ago, he told me he couldn’t take time off. Said that we could come for Christmas, but we’d have to be back for New Year. That was when I gave him the ultimatum.”

“He chose his job? Overspending time with you?”

I nod again. “He did, and you know what? At first, I thought my heart was breaking, and it did. But it wasn’t for the right reasons. It broke because we had an excellent life together. We both had good jobs, we took incredible holidays, and we lived in a fantastic home. On paper, we should’ve been perfect, and we just weren’t. My heart broke because it made me realise that you can have all of the materialistic things in the world, but they won’t buy you love or contentment, they won’t change how you feel inside about someone, at least they shouldn’t. In the end, I was relieved. Him cancelling on me just gave me the push I needed to finish things.”

“How did that go? I suppose when you’re living together, it’s much the same as divorce. Dividing all your shit up. Can you get a prenup if you’re living together but not married?”

I laugh. “I don’t know, but prenups are not really a thing in England unless you’re very wealthy. And anyway, we’ve not actually even started dealing with any of that shit yet.”

“Dividing your stuff?”

“Yeah. Reggie moved into the spare room, and we just carried on living together but separately. I knew that I was still coming here, so it seemed pointless looking for somewhere else for such a short time.”

“Wasn’t that awkward. I’m guessing neither of you had started seeing other people?”

“We rarely saw each other, so it wasn’t too awkward, and yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s seeing someone else already.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, it hurt at first and my heart and brain went through the entire grieving process over one weekend, but then I was all right with it. He and I are done. I don’t want him, so what’s stopping him from moving on? He can go find someone to drive fast cars and jet off on exotic holidays with. It leaves me free to find the real man of my dreams, settle down, and give him babies.”

He looks away quickly and then back at me.

“That’s what you want? The whole white picket fence and two point four kids?”

I give another laugh.

“Where I come from, Cowboy, white picket fences would get nicked, graffitied, or pulled up so the local kids could beat each other with them. And no, not just two point four kids. I’ve always wanted four or five.”

His eyes widen.

“Yeah, you say that now, Essex, just wait till you have one or two. You’ll change your mind real fast.”

“Well, it’s yet to happen, and I need to find a man first anyway.”

“I’m sure there’ll be no shortage of volunteers.”

“Yeah, and I bet every other one of them is another Logan Barnes.”

“Jesus, don’t say that piece of shit’s name in my home.”

“Sorry.”

“We took care of him, though, didn’t we, Essex?”

He gives me the sexiest sideways smile in the history of sideways smiling, and my clit develops a pulse strong enough to keep an elephant alive.

“Itook care of him, Cowboy. I don’t rememberyoudoing much except standing there watching.”

“It was fucking hot. My blood all went rushing to my dick, and I couldn’t think straight.”

My face burns at his admission, but I’m not embarrassed. I’m turned the fuck on.

“I know,” I say very softly. “I felt it.”

“Yeah?” he asks, equally as soft. “Did it feel good?”