Page 57 of CowSex

Gracie has swung her leg back and landed a kick right between his legs.

Barnes’s eyes bulge out of their sockets, and his face turns purple and then grey as the colour drains out of it.

I pull her back to my front, not giving a fuck if she can feel how hard her jumping to my defence has me. I keep her arms pinned to her sides and hold her tight.

“You doing okay there, little-bit?” I whisper into her ear.

“Fuck me, Koa, is everyone you know in this town a nutcase?”

I give a little chuckle, not just at her words but at that accent, too. I love it and can’t help grinding myself against her.

“That was so fucking hot to watch, Essex. You got me all riled up in the diner when you gave it to Misty, but watching you lay Barnes out? I’m about ready to come in my pants like a fourteen-year-old.”

“Don’t let me stop ya, Cowboy.” She moves her own hips and grinds back.

“Goddammit, Carmichael, again?” Sheriff Nelson steps through the growing crowd, many of whom have their mobile phones out and are, once again, recording another episode of the Gracie and Koa show.

I let go of Gracie and raise my hands in a show of innocence and surrender.

“Not me, Nelson, I’m the victim here.”

“Like fuck you are.”

Barnes still looks devoid of colour but has somehow managed to stand himself upright without the help of anyone from our gathering crowd.

“Sheriff Nelson, these two have both physically and verbally assaulted me, and I’d like to press charges against the pair of them. Especially Carmichael, who was the instigator of the whole attack.”

“Fuck off, dickhead. You punched him upside the head when he wasn’t even looking.”

“Lady’s right, that’s what I saw happen,” an older guy with a huge moustache standing in the crowd calls out. I recognise him as the father of one of my electricians and tilt my head in acknowledgement and thanks.

“Ms Elliott, we meet again.”

“All right, Sheriff. Sorry about all this,” Gracie greets Nelson.

“So, would one of you mind explaining what happened here?”

We all start to talk at once, and a few members of our audience even join in.

GRACIE

“YOU COULD’VE WARNED ME HEwas a perv.”

I stare out of the window of Koa’s truck, mesmerised by the white landscape and falling snow.

“I did. I said he was a douche, a sleazeball, and a slimy motherfucker.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“What the fuck else could I have said to make you not accept his dinner invitation?”

“Oh, I don’t know, how about something along the lines of, ‘I know this bloke, Gracie, he has a terrible reputation for touching women inappropriately and is a total pervert.’ Instead of”—I alter my voice and attempt to sound like him— “no, he’s not sweet, and no, you’re not fucking going out with him.”

My American accent is terrible, but I’ll never admit that.

“What was that? Was that supposed to be me? I sound nothing like that...that was...wrong. Fucking wrong.”

“That’s exactly how you sound.”