Page 67 of CowSex

I swing it back, and there he is. Totally stark bollock naked apart from his brown biker boots.

He stares at me wide-eyed for a split second, his skin looking like it has a slightly blue tinge to it in the moonlight.

“What the fuck happened?”

He opens his mouth, but his jaw trembles and his teeth start to chatter. That’s when I realise he’s shivering, his skin is, in fact, blue and there are snowflakes in his hair and beard, or possibly ice.

He doesn’t look happy.

“Oh my God, how long have you been out there?”

He takes a step inside, both his hands are cupping his dick and balls, and I pray to the Queen—because the King probably wouldn’t give a toss—of all things frozen, that they haven’t dropped off or received any kind of permanent damage.

I lead him to the front room and sit him on the sofa.

Our clothes are still in a pile on the floor, so I pull his top over his head and help him on with it, then pull the fur blanket over his legs.

I put another couple of logs on the fire and give it a dig with the poker to get it going again.

“How long were you been out there?”

“Since I lef-left you,” he stutters. I stare down at him with my hands on my hips for a moment, wondering what Bear Grylls would do. Drinking my own wee or getting naked and sharing my body heat both seem a little inappropriate right now.

Instead, I pick door number three and go to the kitchen to pour him a large glass of the bourbon we bought in town earlier. I leave out the ice, because...well, again, it just seems like taking the piss to offer ice to a frozen man.

I don’t know why, but I suddenly get the giggles, and I have to compose myself before I can return to the living room with Koa’s drink.

“Here, get that down you. D’ya want something hot, as well as that?”

“Thi-this is good. Tha-thanks.”

I watch as he takes a sip.

“What happened?”

“I went out to my truck t-t-to look for a condom and the wind must...must’ve blown the door shut behind me.”

“Where were your keys?”

“I nev-never lock the truck when I’m he-here. Did-didn’t take them outside with me.”

I pick up the wine I abandoned earlier and take a sip. I’m not sure if it’s shock or nerves that are making me want to laugh, but I’m fighting to get a grip.

“Didn’t you hear me b-banging on the door?”

I suck both my lips in and hold on to them.

He stares at me.

I stare at him.

“I had a quick shower,” I blurt.

“A sh-shower?”

“Yeah, you know, just a quick freshen up.”

“I was outside freezing to death, an-and you were taking a shower?”