Page 57

What are you saying?

I was sitting on my and Vince’s bed, trying to read the reports Kalvoxrencol had sent, but I couldn’t pay attention.

Vince had shredded my focus. He was still injured.

Klars had incorrectly estimated the amount of time it would take for Vince to recuperate, and it gutted me he remained in pain.

I’d promised him that no one would ever touch him without his express permission and someone had.

As much as Vince might say it wasn’t my fault, it was.

My eyes locked onto the metal container that was full of Vince’s stuff.

He hadn’t added anything to it, as far as I knew, since we’d been injured.

I wanted to dump it on the floor and demand he stay, and yet, part of me wondered if it was best he was going home.

By his own admission, Vince thought he would be happier on Earth than here with me.

The main door opened, and I looked toward the bedroom door, waiting. Vince appeared a moment later, and something inside of me relaxed. I almost wanted to laugh. I was contemplating sending him home, not that it was my choice, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him being away from me.

Vince pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I breathed him in. “You’re back.”

“I told you I would be,” Vince said.

He headed toward his crate, and my stomach clenched.

Vince’s thoughts were peaceful, if not a tad excited.

Did he want to leave that badly? He reached into the crate and grabbed a folded shirt and set it on the floor.

I frowned. Vince kept pulling clothes out, then when the stack began to teeter, he stood and disappeared into the closet.

My soul pounded. Vince was unpacking. “My Vince?”

“Hmm.”

“What are you doing?”

Vince looked at me like I was ridiculous; his thoughts echoed his confusion. “Unpacking. I have been. For days.”

“What?” My voice broke.

“Unpacking. It’s not revolutionary. I'm putting my things back where they used to be.”

Soul thrashing, I couldn’t get a single word out.

He moved toward me, cupping my cheek. I leaned into his touch, rubbing on his palm. Vince asked, “You didn’t notice?”

“No.”

Carefully, he climbed onto my lap, and I hooked my arms around his waist, pleased when there wasn’t even a tinge of fear within his mind. He pushed his hand into my hair, and I groaned. Every touch was amazing, and I would never tire of it or take the show of trust for granted.

“I’m staying,” Vince said, swallowing. “I’m staying with you.”

My soul stopped in my chest before it sped up so fast I could feel my pulse throbbing in my neck. “You are?”

“Yes,” he said. While his voice was happy, his thoughts were nervous. Did he actually want to stay or had one of my brothers said something to him?

“My Vince, why are you scared?”

He frowned, then chuckled. “I should know better than to hide from you. I'm worried you’ll say no. I’d understand if you did. I’m… complicated, and being with me will be burdensome. But…” He lifted and lowered his shoulders. “I love you, and I’m selfish.”

Joy so fierce it stole my thoughts and breath consumed me. I pressed my lips against his, claiming him. Vince moaned, fingers buried in my hair. My tongue slipped into the wet warmth of his mouth and fucked him. My Vince. He was mine—now and forever.

Eventually thoughts began to break through the strength of my emotions. Vince thought he was a burden. Vince had doubts about staying rattling through him. Did he actually want this?

I pulled back, pressing my forehead against his, panting. “Vince.” I didn’t want to say anything to make him change his mind, but I had to. He was more important than me, as was his happiness. “Vince, do you think you’ll be happier with me?”

He leaned back. “What do you mean?”

“Will you be happier here than on Earth?”

Frowning, he answered, “In ways, yes. I’ll miss Earth, but you're here.”

“What will you miss?”

A sad smile tugged at his lips. “Being able to keep myself safe.”

I stared at him.

He laughed, kissing me. “It sounds ridiculous. But on Earth, I know how to read the room to keep myself safe, usually from homophobic pricks, but I didn’t worry like here.

I wasn’t afraid all the time. Here, it’s different.

I’m not really ever safe unless I stay right here, beside you.

” Vince kissed me. “Not that I mind. I like being right here next to you.”

“If you went to Earth, would you be happier? Safer?”

“No,” he said slowly. “You’re here, Donny.”

While Vince was saying one thing, his thoughts were all over the place.

He only felt safe with me. He loved me. He would miss me too much if he left.

He felt unworthy. He felt upset about not banishing the memories of what happened.

He was pissed they would keep coming back.

He wished we could go to Earth together.

He wanted more time. He wanted less time.

Vince didn’t actually know what he wanted. And if he stayed with me, I feared he’d come to regret it one day. I would never survive that resentment from my mate, and by then, we would be publicly acknowledged as mates and he wouldn’t be able to leave me or go back to Earth.

Also, would my inner fire start to grate on him? I’d seen that annoyance when he couldn’t be embarrassed in private. How many more situations like that would happen? Would I spend our days counting down when he started to hate me?

But most importantly, did Vince truly love me or did he simply love the peace that I provided? I wasn’t certain if Vince even knew the answer to that question. He was so confused, so unsure, so unhappy, so scared. Vince was so many emotions that I could hardly breathe.

My soul shattered in my chest. I was going to have to let Vince go.

“Maybe you shouldn’t stay,” I said carefully.

White-hot pain flashed through Vince. “What?”

“If you would be happier on Earth, then you should go.”

Vince shoved my hands away and slid off my lap, breath harsh. “You want me to leave?”

“No!” I growled. I took a deep breath to calm myself. “I want you to be happy and safe. Wherever that might be, even if it’s not by my side.”

He gripped his necklaces, panting. His thoughts were a roiling mess of hurt.

“Vince, I want you to stay,” I told him again. “I do. But I want you to be safe. I don’t wish you to regret your decision. I couldn’t handle that or the subsequent resentment. It would kill me.”

“I can’t know the future, Don. I don't know if I'll regret it or not. I can’t know, and neither can you,” he snapped. “All I know is right now. And right now, I want to be with you and you don’t want me to.”

“Vince—”

“I offered myself, and you rejected me.”

“Vince,” I started again, but he wouldn’t let me.

He shoved a hand through his short black hair. “Don, why can’t you be fine with right now?”

“Because I have to think of the future, for both of us.”

“Mindy and Kal can accept when Teddy and Seth say they’ll love them forever, even though they can’t promise that. Why can’t you?”

“I’m not my brothers, and you are not Seth or Bartholomew. You, by your own words, would feel safer on Earth. What am I to say to that? I need you to be safe. I need you to be happy. And, Vince, you do not know what you want.”

He shook his head, coming closer. “I know what I want. I want you. You’re the one who doesn’t know what you want or… maybe you do. Maybe you’ve decided I’m too much work or that now, presented with forever, you’re not ready to commit.”

I got to my feet stiffly. “That’s not it. I want you, Vince.”

“Then why are you rejecting me?”

Cupping his cheek, I wiped the tears that had started to spill away with my thumb, careful not to cut him with my claw.

“I’m not. I would be with you forever, but I’m afraid you’re picking me because of what happened, not because you truly want me.

I don’t want you to choose me out of fear. I want you to be happy.”

Vince pressed against me, and I wound my arms around him. I loved him so dearly, but his needs would always take precedence over mine. There was also a small worm of fear that refused to be banished that Vince didn’t truly want me.

“This has happened relatively fast,” he said, voice muffled. “I came and then we were together.”

I ran my fingers through his hair. It hadn’t felt fast to me, but I felt his pain dimming.

“Maybe we need time.”

“What do you mean, my Vince?”

He took a deep breath and leaned back to give me a shaky smile. “Maybe we should stick to the original plan? I’ll go back to your homeworld, and you’ll go about your duty.” He nodded. “It’s for the best, I think.”

A claw shredded my gut more painful than the knife that stabbed me days ago, more painful than anything I’d ever experienced. “Is that what you wish?”

“Yes.” Vince smiled.

“So you and I will be no more.”

“No.” He went up on his toes to kiss me.

“No, you’re fucking mine. We are not breaking up.

” A thought of an angry man with wet-looking hair, screaming, ‘We were on a break’ popped into his mind, and I had no idea what to make of it.

“We’re just pausing or taking a breath. We’re together.

I’ll stay in your room, and we’ll talk every single day, but we’ll take a moment to both think about what we want. ”

Before I could say anything, NAID said, “Captain, Prince Kalvoxrencol needs to speak with you. He found the humans.”

“Go,” Vince said, patting my chest. “Sweetheart, it’ll be alright.”

Swallowing a growl, I kissed him, then slowly walked out the room while the feeling I was losing something infinitely precious swept through me.