Page 34

Halfway there.

I was sitting with Seth while he talked to the gathering of humans.

Brad, Camden, Roman, and Pierce were firmly on Team Human, and I thought there were a couple of other people coming toward their side.

I wasn’t, as much as Caleb protested, but I supported Seth.

Also, I was attempting to leave my room and do something.

I mean, I was reading now and staying out of my bed, but I was trying to engage as much as I could.

After telling Seth I loved him and everything that had happened, our relationship had gotten a ton easier.

In an effort to move past Xome or at minimum accept what had happened to me, I’d started talking to Camden and Pierce. They’d both been in brothels like me, and our experiences were similar. I wasn’t cured, but it helped. They’d already made a support group of sorts and invited me to join.

I’d been almost hurt they hadn’t asked me before, but they hadn’t wanted to impose.

I’d held myself apart from the other humans from Xome and clung to Seth and Teddy or stayed in my room.

I told myself I wouldn’t have come earlier even if they’d asked, and it was true.

I hadn’t been ready to talk. Hell, I still wasn’t ready, but this was something that I needed to do.

Don spent every night in my room now, but we hadn’t done anything, even kissing had been minimal. I felt insanely guilty that I clung to him, but I didn’t want to lose him. He was mine. For now.

My eyes flicked to Teddy, who was across the table.

He hadn’t spoken to me much since I’d told him I was going home.

I hadn’t even told him about what happened on Xome.

I should’ve; I needed to, but it was hard.

I didn’t want to dump my trauma on him when he was lugging around his own.

But he was my friend, and I didn’t want him to think I was abandoning him.

Teddy spoke up for the first time, “We won’t have to touch the Crystal, right? I don’t fucking want to.”

“I have spoken to the Cohort, and no one will be forced,” Seth informed us. “You will be soul tested, but you don’t have to touch the actual Crystal.”

He frowned at the soul testing bit, but his shoulders relaxed.

I was right there with Teddy. I didn’t want to know who my soulmate was, or if I even had one. Honestly, anyone besides Don would piss me off. Besides, I was going home. It would hurt whoever my soulmate was.

And knowing my luck, it would be someone like Mindy, and I would hurt Teddy.

That was literally the last thing I needed.

Also, Mindy. I shuddered at the sunshine man who bounced around with Caleb, the two of them laughing like idiots while Teddy and I shook our heads.

I couldn’t handle that, nor would I want to.

“Anyone who wants to touch the Crystal and seek their soulmate can,” Seth said. “I can explain the process.” No one said anything, so Seth added, “We can also talk in private if anyone is feeling shy.”

Seth gripped my hand, and I pulled it onto my lap, smoothing my fingers over his palm. He struggled with this whole leader thing, but god, he was good at it.

“It’s time for your combat class,” I said, saving him.

“Right,” he said. “Does anyone want to join me?”

Teddy, Brad, Pierce, Roman, and Camden immediately jumped up. Team Human, go , I thought. A couple of others joined more slowly.

Seth looked at me, and I shook my head. I wanted some downtime. I’d been spending basically all of my time with Seth or Don, barring a few times with the other humans or Don’s family. While I needed to interact with people, part of me longed to be in my well-lit room alone.

When they left, Teddy hung back. His hands were buried in his pockets, and his eyes were looking anywhere beside me. He asked, “Are you okay?”

“No,” I said, finally being somewhat honest.

He came to my side and bumped my arm with his. “Want to talk about it?”

I closed my eyes, then glanced around the cafeteria.

There were a few people, but no one close by, but their presence was enough to have me nodding toward the door.

We stepped outside, and I turned toward the elevator.

After the door closed, I didn’t ask NAID to send the elevator to a floor.

I leaned back against the vines covering the walls.

There was literally no escape from the plants, but I didn’t mind it. Not really.

Teddy didn’t talk either. He rested against the wall and simply breathed with me. It was… soothing.

“It was a lot, huh?” I finally broke the silence.

“What?”

“Xome.”

He nodded and confessed, “I have nightmares.”

“Me too.”

“I see them,” Teddy whispered.

“Who?” I looked at him, but he was staring at the floor, shoulders shaking.

“Everyone I killed. All of the people I locked in that damn incinerator. Their ghosts haunt me.”

Fighting through any unease I had about touching, I snagged Teddy and hauled him into my arms. “It was not your fault,” I growled. “Do you hear me, Bartholomew? What happened on Xome wasn’t your fault.”

“I locked the door.”

“And I didn’t fight.”

Teddy backed up. “What? I didn’t give you a choice.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” I sank to the floor, and Teddy was right behind me. I drew my knees to my chest and said, “I was sold to a brothel after you were abducted.”

“Fuck.”

“Yep.”

“That’s why you want to go home,” Teddy said baldly, and I chuckled. He always shot straight to the heart of the matter.

“Yep,” I repeated.

“Fuck,” he repeated as well and pushed his fingers through the short amount of black hair he had. “I’m sorry I was an ass about you going home.”

“You didn’t know.”

“And you didn’t tell me.”

I looked at him. “I couldn’t get the words out.”

“That, I understand.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.

“It wasn't yours either.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and I fought them, but they slipped out. Teddy didn’t say anything, letting me weep, and I wasn’t alone. He cried silently, his tears dripping onto me.

The door opened, and I expected to see Don, but I was surprised when Mindy was in front of us.

He crouched. “Flower? Vince? Are you well?”

“Yeah,” Teddy said. “Just human stuff.”

Inappropriate laughter bubbled in my gut, but all I could think about was a woman saying “lady stuff.” I wiped my face and said, “You heard him. Human stuff. Don’t worry about it.

” I slipped out of the elevator, but I turned in time to see Mindy holding Teddy close.

He was so gentle with my friend. I wanted to believe that Mindy wasn’t an asshole to Teddy, but I didn’t trust him yet, not like I did Don.

When the elevator came back, I went to my room and flopped onto the couch. I grabbed the tablet Don had given me and looked at the map that showed where we were in relation to the drakcol home planet with its fucking long name.

Halfway. We were halfway there.

Time was running out with Don. Sure, it would be a while before a ship headed back to Earth, but me and Don were coming to an end.

Once he was home, he would be back to his normal routine, and I’d be left behind until I went home.

I didn’t blame him. Much. He had a life there, and people he was close with.

My chest tightened and my hands curled into fists. I hated the thought of anyone else touching him, which wasn’t fair. I’d always been more possessive than was strictly healthy, but with Don it was another level. I didn’t want to share him.

He’s a person, not a pizza. He’s not yours to hog , I told myself. But just like pizza, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. Don was mine.

Not that I could touch him.

I groaned, rolling over. We barely even snuggled anymore, except when I was going to sleep. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to blow him. I wanted to fuck him. But I didn’t want him to touch me.

I sat up, mouth opening. What if I touched him and he didn’t touch me? I wanted to. God, I really did. And if he didn’t touch me, maybe I wouldn’t freak out.

It could work. It really could. I’d have to ask Don if he was comfortable with me loving on him. I couldn’t imagine he would say no. Who said no to a no-need-to-reciprocate blow job? But what if he did? I needed him so badly.

All I had to do was ask. The worst Don could say was no, right?

I stepped out of the shower and dried my hair with a cloth to get out as much moisture as possible before pulling on some soft trousers and a loose shirt.

Vince hadn’t been at the combat class, not that I was teaching him—he hadn’t decided if he wanted me to.

But I was used to him coming to watch me, and I liked it, as much as it was a distraction.

Seth had said Vince was taking some time for himself, which raised an immediate worry.

More often than not, one of us had to drag Vince out of his room or initiate spending time with him.

Too often he was trapped in his head and his thoughts weren’t always pleasant.

I hadn’t sensed anything horrible coming from Vince’s distant thoughts, but I was still concerned.

He’d been distant since we failed to move closer. He felt guilty, even though he had no reason to. I wasn’t in a rush, and if we never fucked, I was content with this. Every moment with Vince was a precious gift that I would treasure.

Something flitted across my thoughts. Vince.

I blinked. He was close. I stepped out of the bedroom, and he was sitting on my couch, playing on my screen.

My soul leaped at the sight. He rarely came to my quarters, but I’d added him to my security and my full system so he could get to me whenever he needed or buy whatever he wanted with my money.

“Vince,” I said, self-conscious for some reason. I cast my gaze around my room. Nothing was out of place or untidy, yet the nervous energy remained.

He looked up with a smile. “Hey, Sweetheart.”