Page 31

Sometimes desire is not enough.

I could feel the tension in Vince’s entire body and mind, but he pressed his shaking lips against mine.

I returned the kiss, keeping the pressure soft.

I didn’t understand why he insisted on us doing this when he was so uncomfortable.

I was perfectly content not to have sex until he was ready, even if that was for the rest of our time together.

But this wasn’t about me or us; this was about his need to overcome what had happened to him.

Which hurt, even if it should not.

However, the desire for this moment to truly be about us together and sharing an intimacy remained.

Vince moaned, pushing me back to climb on my lap.

I whimpered, opening my mouth for him. I wanted Vince in every single way possible, but I needed more from this moment.

His tongue slicked and swirled around mine as hot arousal flooded his mind, though it didn’t outweigh the severe discomfort pulsing inside of him.

Cupping his hips, I pulled him more securely against me, my hard cock pressing against his butt. Vince stilled, and the shaking plaguing his body increased. I ran a hand down his back to comfort him, but he didn’t calm, though also didn’t move away.

“We don’t have to,” I whispered against his lips, my breath harsh with desire.

“I’m fine,” he bit out, crashing his lips into mine in a feral kiss. “I want you, and you sure as hell want me.”

Groaning, I returned his kiss and lost myself into the softness of his plush lips and his smooth tongue.

Vince fisted my hair, and I winced at the tight hold but didn’t remark on it.

I wished we’d had more, or rather any conversation about sex permissions.

If we had, he would’ve known I didn’t enjoy any pain. But this was about him, not me, not us.

To soften and slow the harsh kiss, I brushed my fingertips along his back and rocked beneath him. Vince broke away from me, gasping. One of his hands gripped my hair even harder while the other dug into my shoulder.

“Is that nice?” I asked, rocking up into him.

His teeth sank into his bottom lip, and he nodded.

His hard cock was rubbing against me while I rolled and rutted into him.

Vince closed his eyes and held onto me. He was enjoying it.

I felt that in his mind as well as saw it from his hard cock that was pushing against his trousers.

But the tension and discomfort didn’t dissipate no matter how much he liked it.

I wanted to stop. His discomfort was making it difficult for me to continue and it was hurting me.

I could put an end to this by simply telling Vince I no longer wished to continue, but he might think I was rejecting him, which I wasn’t.

Hurting him was destroying me, and that was what I was doing.

I was injuring Vince, even though he’d asked for it.

Vince grasped the hem of my shirt and tugged; I leaned forward so he could remove it before claiming his mouth once more.

His trembling fingers roved my chest, tracing my scales.

He brushed one of my nipples, and I grunted.

My nipples weren’t that sensitive, but it felt nice to have his fingertips circling the nubs.

He continued his exploration over my chest and down my sides, and I ripped my mouth from his, then swallowed the high-pitched cry that attempted to escape.

“There?” he asked.

“Yes,” I panted. “It’s where my scent glands are.”

His fingers returned, rubbing the spots perfectly until I was wiggling and nearly strangling myself to stay silent.

Shifting back, he yanked his shirt off. I dragged my hands over his fair skin, not able to get over how beautiful he was.

His nipples were a lovely pink against his light skin and the nubs were hard peaks.

His chest was heaving, showing off his ribs, which practically poked through his skin.

Vince truly needed to gain weight, but getting him to eat anything was a feat.

I nuzzled his neck, attempting to calm the rapidly growing panic.

Vince cupped the back of my head and tugged me closer.

I trailed kisses down his neck to his collarbone, sucking on it.

He groaned, gripping me tight. When I moved back, his skin now bore a mark—my mark.

Something primal inside of me flared at the sight of Vince’s skin carrying my mark while my scent filled the air from his earlier attention to my scent glands.

“Take these off,” Vince ordered, pulling on my trousers.

I helped Vince off my lap and stripped bare in front of him.

He didn’t look at me as he removed his own clothes, and even then, he refused to glance in my direction.

I, though, couldn’t look away from him. Vince was so delicate and slight.

His bones were more prominent around his hips, but he was so soft-looking.

His cock was hard and a drop of liquid beaded on his round crown.

His shaft was much thinner and shorter than mine, and there was a slight curve.

I wanted to drop to my knees and worship him, but I didn’t move.

Vince asked, “Do you have lube?”

“Yes.” I grabbed some as well as a sleeve. When I handed him the lube, he didn’t glance at me. He moved to the couch and got on all fours as he circled his hole with a slick finger. With every touch, his unease was rising.

Vince wasn’t ready for this.

“Little Warrior,” I whispered, touching his back.

He leaped and skittered away from me, eyes wide and glassy.

“You do not want this.”

“I do,” he snapped, panting. “Maybe you don’t want me anymore, but I do.” The tension in his body and his softening cock told a different story.

“We don’t have to do this.”

“If you don’t want me, then fine. I’ll just get someone else. It doesn’t matter who. I just need a dick.”

A knife lodged in my soul, but I pushed my pain away. I came closer, and Vince’s breathing increased, as did his terror. When I reached for him, a shriek ripped out of his lips, and he scrambled away until his back crashed into the wall.

“No,” he cried, covering his face and drawing his knees to his chest. “No! No. No. No.”

The terror was so sharp it sent me to my knees. “Vince, you do not have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Tears slid down his cheeks. “I want it to be over. I decided I was over it. I did. Not anyone else. Me! This is my body, and I decided it was over.”

Slowly, I scooted closer, kneeling in front of him. His face was buried against his knees and his body shook with the strain that was echoing inside of him. Memories from his time on Xome washed through him, and I tried not to focus on them, because I needed to be present.

“Vince, my lovely warrior, you may have decided, but your body has not. There’s a wound deep inside of you that needs to be cleaned and healed. It will take time, and more than you deciding you don’t wish to feel the pain any longer.”

He sobbed, holding himself tighter. “I just want to be done. I want everything to be done. I want you, Don. Why can’t I not care about Xome?”

“Because you need to heal. And perhaps you need help.”

He peeked up. “Will you help me?”

The absolute trust shining in his eyes and the innocence in his voice had me moving closer. “I will, in any way I can, but you need professional help.”

Grunting, he hid against his knees once more. Shame filled him, and I didn’t understand.

“There’s no need for embarrassment or shame. I’ve spoken to professionals, as have many people, Vince.”

He curled up even more, shaking and crying. Panic was growing with each passing moment. “Help me.”

I slid close enough to place my hand on his cheek. The connection flooded me with his fear, his shame, his anger, everything, while I, in turn, gave him my peace, my comfort, my very soul.

His muscles relaxed, and Vince sagged toward me. I scooped him up, setting him on my lap, holding him close, as I continued to feed him my calm.

“Why can’t I do this?” he whined.

I nuzzled the top of his head. “Because you are not ready.”

“I want to be.”

“I know.” I pressed a kiss to his hair. “Oh, how I know, Little Warrior. But you are not yet. I shall be here whenever you are, and if that time never comes, I’ll still be right here beside you.”

More tears slid down Vince’s cheek, and I brushed them away, rocking him gently in my embrace. I hummed, pushing the music into him, and Vince relaxed further. I continued to kiss his head and sing him a wordless tune of my affection.