Page 10

New clothes. New man.

I stared at my bed; a dark cloud filled every cell of my body, making me numb.

I was clean, after what had to have been a two-hour shower, and ready for bed, theoretically.

Every light was on full blast, banishing the shadows, but it wasn’t enough.

The very thought of lying down sent tension to my muscles.

Nightmares would come—they always did—but Don would come with them.

Nonetheless, I wasn’t ready yet.

The day had gone by so much faster than I’d liked.

I had a pleasant and long lunch with Don.

He was humorous in an understated way. When he’d gone back to his duties, I’d hung out with Camden and Brad, then we all met up with Roman, who was quiet, but not in a surly way like Brad, but in a he-just-didn’t-have-anything-to-say way.

Roman was in his late thirties with a shaved head and mustache and goatee.

He was taller than Brad and Camden, and well me, but that wasn’t shocking.

His skin was a deep brown, and he was well-built with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. His deep-set brown eyes always roved the area, like he was scanning for danger.

The thing that made me instantly like Roman was the fandom tattoos on his arms: a sonic screwdriver, a Star Trek emblem, the village symbols from Naruto, the four elements from Avatar: the Last Airbender, and more.

But hanging out with them had bled to chilling with Seth—and fucking Kal—who spent the entire time glaring at me.

Seth hadn’t noticed, or had ignored us, as we watched a baking show he liked while we chatted.

But all too soon, they were calling it a night.

I’d then gone to look for Teddy, but he was already sleeping.

So then I showered until my skin burned.

Sighing, I went back to the living room and paced.

There wasn’t much to do. Yes, I had access to the full breadth of the human databases, or well, up to the point Seth had been abducted by his fucker husband.

I could binge watch whatever I wanted. I loved anime, and I could easily watch one I’d seen a million times, but I didn’t feel like it.

I could also read. I was a huge reader and loved a multitude of genres… and yet, I didn’t want to.

In truth, I didn’t feel like doing anything. I was rudderless. I could go home; I should go home to be free of these encroaching dreams and memories, but that meant leaving Seth and Teddy. Though both of them were happy with their alien spouses. They probably wouldn’t care if I left.

No. That wasn’t fair. They would care; they were my friends.

In reality, they would be fine, though. Neither of them needed me, and I needed peace.

I needed to shove these memories down into a little box, then maybe I wouldn’t have these nightmares.

If I could finally rest, I was positive I’d be able to figure out what to do.

I wish I had my cards .

I’d often gotten teased about believing in tarot, but more than once tarot cards had directed me, helping make decisions or illuminating what I needed most.

My eyes flicked to the dispenser. Seth had said NAID could make anything. Not anything anything . It wouldn’t make a gun for me to shoot Kal in the ass, but it would make more non-lethal things.

“NAID?” I asked. It was supposedly listening all the time, which was sort of stalkerish.

“Yes, Vince Lyford,” a disembodied, monotone voice said.

Yeah, not creepy at all.

I shook it off and asked, “Do you know what tarot cards are?”

“Yes. Do you wish me to define it?”

“No. Can you make a set in the dispenser?”

“Yes. Please select which one you would like,” it said.

I picked up my tablet and blinked. There were thousands upon thousands of tarot card sets. The computer had compiled all of the versions in its databanks and spat them out. I wasn’t going to search through all of them—that would take a lifetime—so I selected the first ones I liked.

“They are in the dispenser,” NAID said. “Do you need anything else?”

I was about to say no when I paused. “Can you make clothes?”

“Yes.”

Drakcon fashion wasn’t for me, and now, I didn’t have to stick with it.

I flicked through the different clothes on the tablet, making my choices, and they all appeared in the dispenser.

The clothes didn’t feel the same as the ones on Earth, or at least how I remembered them—probably because drakcol didn’t use the same fibers—but they were more familiar than what I was currently wearing.

Shuffling out of my clothes, I yanked on a pair of gray joggers and a black tank top. Better.

Now, I was determined to see what else my dispenser could make.

The more I played, the more limitations I found.

It wasn’t that NAID couldn’t make certain things, like a comfortable chair or couch, it was that those items were too big for my dispenser.

However, I found plenty of things it could make, and it passed the time as I ignored the need to go to bed and my new tarot cards lying on the table.

But as my eyes grew more and more tired, I had to face the matter head on. Sleep would be impossible to hold off forever. Unfortunately.

“NAID, can you make a candle?”

“Fire is prohibited.”

I frowned. I preferred to start a reading with a flame to concentrate on to center myself, but it made sense why it wasn’t allowed. I guessed the drakcol didn’t want someone to burn their shiny ship down. Shocker.

Electric candles were a thing, and I was positive that NAID could make one, but it wasn’t the same as an open flame.

Forgoing the candle, I sat down at the table and took several even breaths to center myself. Then with my left hand, I touched each and every card to establish a physical link. All that remained was to shuffle and fan out the cards.

I stared at the fanned deck, deciding to do a simple three card draw of the past, present, and future, instead of my usual Celtic cross.

It had been a while since I’d done this, and while NAID had also created the instruction booklet, I didn’t feel confident.

In fact, as I stared at the cards, I felt shaken.

Normally, I formed my question and drew, but this time, all I felt was terror.

My past was bad, my present was manageable, and my future had the potential to be either.

I was terrified of what I would or wouldn’t see if I picked the cards.

Also, for the life of me, I couldn’t think of a single question.

“This shouldn’t be this hard,” I snapped, smacking the table with the flat of my hand. This was nothing. It probably wasn’t even real… However, I believed.

With a loud sigh, I pushed the cards into a neat stack and set them aside. Next time.

Getting to my feet, I headed to bed. Might as well get it over with.

I rubbed my tired eyes as I waited outside of Teddy’s room.

Three fucking nightmares last night. Don had come the first time, and I’d leaned into his warm touch to soothe the terror coursing through me.

The second and third time, he hadn’t. He had to have not heard me.

I believed Don when he’d said that he would come if he heard me.

I could’ve called him with my touchstone thing, but I didn’t.

Now I was dead tired, but I’d promised to meet Seth, Teddy, and Caleb for breakfast. I didn’t want to. I wanted to hole up in my room and curl into a ball and never move again. God, that sounded so much nicer.

The door opened, and Teddy blinked. “Where did you get the new clothes?”

I stepped around him, not answering, and was met with the same stunned looks.

“You look nice,” Seth said.

“He means where the hell did you get the clothes,” Caleb demanded, standing with a grunt and leaning heavily on his cane.

I glanced between them. “Do you mean to tell me that none of you thought to make clothes with the dispenser?”

I smoothed a hand down my crop top band tee, ripped skinny jeans, and flowy cardigan—all black. I’d even painted my nails pink. From their gaping mouths, I realized I was right.

“I can make more hoodies,” Seth shouted, standing, then he immediately glanced over his shoulder with a nervous expression at an empty pile of blankets, pillows, and ripped up stuffed animals.

“Don’t worry,” Teddy said. “Mindy has Pookie.”

“Who is Pookie?” I asked.

“His pet,” Caleb whined, sitting back down. “I want a pet, but I’m so allergic to everything.”

“Not to the plants,” Teddy commented.

“I’d take the daily injections to be able to snuggle a cat,” Caleb remarked.

“We should eat,” Seth said, taking my arm.

I flinched, ripping away.

“Vince?” he asked.

Forcing a smile, I slipped my arm around his and leaned into him, closing my eyes and breathing in his citrus scent. My Seth. Everything would be better with him beside me.

“I want french fries so bad,” Caleb said, moving toward the dispenser. “But with my drakcol tastebuds, they probably wouldn’t be as good anymore.”

“Why don’t you try?” I asked.

“Because there’s not a fast food drive-thru,” he replied with a laugh.

I shook my head. “You all really lack imagination. NAID, do you have a recipe for french fries?”

“Yes,” it replied.

“Can you make them with the closest substitutes?”

“Yes.”

French fries appeared in the dispenser. I took one and ate it. The fry didn’t taste quite right, but fuck, it was heaven. I faced the other humans and smirked at their shocked faces. “You’re really lucky I’m here.”

“Mine,” Caleb squealed, taking a handful. Teddy and Seth weren’t far behind him, making me chuckle, but I pulled away, hugging my middle. We shouldn’t be as desperate for french fries as we were. None of us should be here. None of this should’ve happened.

Time might not be able to be unwritten, but maybe I could just forget it all. That’s what going home meant, right?