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Teddy got to his feet and stalked toward the door, and I didn’t blame him. I was basically telling him that he and Seth weren’t enough, which was a fucking slap in the face, especially after everything that we’d been through together.

“Please don’t tell Seth.”

He grunted and left.

My head fell back against the arm of the couch.

I should’ve told him the truth about… everything.

If I explained why I wanted to go home, he would’ve understood.

Wouldn’t he? The words refused to come. I didn’t want him to look at me like I was broken or weak.

I should’ve fought more, but after the beatings and punishments, the lack of food, and the never-ending darkness, I stopped.

Letting customers fuck me seemed easier.

I couldn’t live with these memories. I couldn’t live with myself. I couldn’t.

First things first. I had to find out if I could stay and have my memories removed. Who would know that? Immediately, I thought of Don and his sleeping face next to mine.

Thoughts of this morning wouldn’t leave my mind, no matter how much I tried to banish them.

I’d woken up to my hand on Vince’s face and his forehead pressed against mine.

He’d been asleep and curled up against me.

I’d been surrounded by his crisp scent and his warm presence.

I hadn’t wanted to leave. I’d wanted to stay there forever.

When he woke up, I’d braced for his terror, but he grinned and stretched, leaving me to follow the movement and the tantalizing glimpses of his bare skin.

I’d wondered for all of one moment about him not being upset by my close presence, then he’d thought about snuggling against me.

Not only that. He’d felt safe. I had made him feel safe.

I was a captain in the Planetary Navy. I was a soldier. An older brother. I’d protected a lot of people over my life, but none had felt as satisfying as making Vince feel safe.

My arms had ached to pull him close, but I’d resisted. His sleepy smile had made it far harder than it should’ve been.

Sitting in Command, reading scans and notes on my screen, should’ve kept my thoughts from Vince, but it didn’t.

I had to actively stop my inner fire from seeking him out across the ship.

I doubted I’d be able to hear his thoughts at this distance, but I could probably feel the ebb and flow of his mind, which I was desperate for.

Forcing my thoughts away from Vince yet again, I focused on finishing my shift.

When we were in Coalition space, I didn’t remain in Command the entire time.

I usually sat in Command and made sure everything was running correctly before retreating to my office to go over reports.

Soon, I would have the privacy to allow my thoughts to wander more than when my senior officers were right beside me.

Warmth grew in my pocket as the voice I wanted to hear most in this universe whispered in my ear, “Dontilvynsan.”

I stood, and Bimwoxcol said, “Captain departing.”

Everyone turned toward me, standing straight.

When I reached the door, I ordered, “Return.”

All of my officers went back to their duties.

The second the door blocked me from sight, I fumbled for my touchstone and yanked it out of my pocket, dropping my screen in my haste. “Vince,” I said breathlessly, making the connection.

“Where are you?”

“Outside my office. How can I assist you?” Instinctively, I reached for his mind among the many on my ship. I felt him, but no distinctive thoughts came to me. However, the lure of his warm mind and the gentle flow of his emotions that I couldn’t quite perceive intoxicated me.

“Can we talk?”

“In person?”

“If you’re not too busy, then yeah.”

“I will never be too busy for you,” I replied without thought, then paused. What had I just said?

I heard the smile in his voice as he said, “Come to my room. I’ll even get food from the dispenser.”

“I look forward to it.”

My smile didn’t want to dim, but I forced it away and strode to his room.

I didn’t know why Vince wanted to speak to me, and I didn’t care.

I wanted to see him, and I blatantly refused to contemplate why.

I was allowed to become friends with this human.

Friends liked to see each other. That was all.

I pushed the chime on his door, and it rang loudly.

“Just come in, Don,” Vince shouted, making me smile again.

Vince was sitting on the couch with a plate of food in the middle.

It was a mix of fruit, meat, and flat bread—a typical drakcol meal—but there were other things I didn’t recognize.

Long, crunchy-looking tubes, a meat circle in between two pieces of fluffy bread, and square brown things that appeared to be soft and chewy.

Taking a seat, I focused on the swirling anxiety in his mind and not the stretch of pale skin of his belly, which was harder than it should’ve been.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can you erase my memories?”

My soul stalled before leaping into a dizzying speed. “Repeat that.”

He swallowed, meeting my gaze. “Can you erase my memories?”

“Why?”

“That’s why I want to go back to Earth. If your scientists can get rid of them, then I won’t have to.”

I relaxed, practically sagging backwards.

He didn’t want me to personally take his memories.

I’d never tried to wipe someone’s mind clean, but my mentor had assured me that I could do so if I ever had to.

I hated the thought of basically killing someone by stealing all that they were and leaving nothing but a mindless husk behind.

“You want to forget what happened,” I stated. It was unsurprising. I’d caught glimpses of what Vince had endured, and it had been horrific.

Hands tight on his thighs, he bobbed his head. “I could stay here with you. I mean, Seth and Teddy. Not just you. Not only you. You understand.”

His mind swirled in many emotions, which tugged on my soul but made it difficult for me to follow exactly what was bothering him. Nonetheless, I wanted to soothe all of his tension.

“Please,” he begged.

How I wished I could say yes, but it wasn’t my decision. “You would have to appeal to the Council of Seekers for them to erase your memories for psychological trauma, and I don’t think they are likely to approve.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t they help me?”

I set the plate on the floor to sit closer to him.

When he didn’t move away, I felt honored with the show of trust. “It’s not helping you.

Erasing your memories is a bandage to the true underlying issue.

It’s like when I assist you into falling asleep.

You wouldn’t have conscious memory of what happened, but your body will remember.

You will tense and panic and not understand why.

You will fear people like those who harmed you, and you will not know why.

The technicians will do it when they return you to Earth, but the seeker in charge of your wipe would probably recommend you not to go. ”

“Who are you to say what is best for me?” he snapped, standing. “You have no idea. None. You do not get to make my choices for me.”

“It’s not my decision, and I cannot say what’s better.

I’ve never been hurt like you have. I have no idea what or if there is a better option.

I cannot speak on it, Vince. I can only tell you the likely outcome.

But you can petition the board of seekers for a memory wipe.

I will assist you if you want to walk down this path.

The council may require you to seek treatment with a professional first.”

“I don’t want treatment,” he yelled. “I want to forget. I want this to be over. Do you understand? I need this whole fucking thing to be over! I want to go back to who I actually am!”

I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know what to say.

I couldn’t promise Vince the council would give him what he desired, nor could I say any comforting words.

This wound wouldn’t disappear easily. It would take work to heal what had been done to him, and there was no guarantee that everything would return to how it used to be.

His thoughts bounced, never remaining in one place.

Anger. Fear. Longing. Despair. That brightness I’d sometimes glimpsed in him was swallowed whole by a void that was drawing him in, crushing him.

Losing his memories wasn’t the cure he’d hoped it was.

Vince had counted on that cure. He’d needed it more than anything.

While our technology was superior to that of the humans, we couldn’t fix everything. Much like humans, we possessed psychological doctors to help people heal from the mental wounds inflicted upon them or brain disorders like Zoltilvoxfyn’s deep moroseness and Seth’s anxiety.

Vince reached for me, eyes shining, and I moved toward him without thought. He pressed my hand to his face and dropped his head against my chest. “Help me.”

I pushed gentle waves of calm into his mind to steal the dark pit of emotions. As he sagged in my embrace, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing more damage to him, but it was Vince’s choice and I wouldn’t refuse him.