Page 24

Talking before snuggling.

We sat on the couch, facing each other. My heart was beating so fast I could barely breathe.

I wanted this so badly, but at the same time, I was nervous as hell.

I used to be such a physically affectionate person.

Holding hands. Hugging. Kissing. Snuggling.

Fucking. It didn’t matter if they were my friends or some stranger I’d picked up, I wanted to touch them a lot.

Now, I hated people touching me. It stirred up memories I would rather not think of.

Don seemed as nervous as I was, because he kept rubbing his wide thighs, his claws catching on the fabric of his pants. I wanted to crawl onto his lap and rub my face against him. He smelled so nice. I wanted to bury my face against his neck and breathe.

His tail flicked, edging toward me before it shot away. “We should talk before we cuddle.”

Heat rushed to my face. “Yeah.”

“First, I need to know what you want out of this relationship?”

“Nothing permanent,” I replied. “I know drakcol only mate once, and I don’t want that. I assume you have casual sex relationships.”

“We do.”

“That’s what I want. I mean, I don’t want to have sex yet.

I want to touch you and be touched. I miss it.

” I was getting a lot more out of this than Don was, which made me feel like an ass.

We might not do more than snuggle, unless you counted him helping me to sleep, for a very long time.

Don’t get me wrong, I was determined to fuck this trauma right out of me, but it might take a while.

“I’m alright with that. One of my permissions would be about falling in love. I can’t care about you like that, Vince, unless you choose to stay. Having a mate bond form, then having you leave me, would destroy me. If you are fine with that, I’m fine and would enjoy a casual relationship with you.”

“That’s fine.” I didn’t want him to fall in love with me. I had Seth, and I didn’t want to hurt Don when I left.

“I also need more than sex or snuggling. I don’t do casual sex without some sort of friendship or talking.”

That was easy. I liked talking to and spending time with Don. Besides, we usually saw each other every day. “Sure. We can hang out.”

“As you don’t want to have sex yet, we can forgo that portion of permissions. When you are interested, let me know and we will change the parameters of our relationship.”

I grinned. I liked this. Drakcol had relationships dialed in. Hammering things out in advance was nice, and it soothed some of my anxieties.

“I’m glad,” he said, responding to my thoughts. “Did you want to keep this relationship private?”

Seth. He was worried about that. “No. We can tell people.” I didn’t care. Seth was married, and I wasn’t going to hide Don. Nobody liked being pushed away or denied. Since it was perfectly safe to do so, I saw no reason to hide it.

He smiled, and warmth pooled in my gut. God, he was cute.

Don’s throat bobbed as his tail wiggled harder. Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are you comfortable with touching in public?”

We had touched a few times in front of people, but I said, “I don’t want to do that.” It wasn’t that I was rejecting Don, but if I freaked out, I wanted to be somewhere away from prying eyes.

“That’s fine. What kind of touch are you comfortable with right now? And what don’t you want?”

My lips pursed as I thought it over. What was I actually okay with?

I wanted a lot. I wanted the whole shebang, sausage and all, but that wasn’t happening yet.

His eyes shifted to the ceiling as he took several deep breaths, and I smothered a laugh.

His being able to hear my thoughts was oddly fun.

I like seeing him lose that composed mask he wore.

I wondered if we did fuck, if I could get him to come completely undone.

“Vince,” he whispered. “Please.”

“Sorry.” I took a deep breath to focus. “For now, you can touch my face and hands anytime we’re alone. I want to stay clothed. Maybe I could put your hands where I want them?” It was a lot to ask, but I wouldn’t know what I was comfortable with until we did it.

“I can work with that.”

“And kissing? Maybe I can initiate it for right now?” I asked.

“That is acceptable.”

“What about you? You have to have things you don’t want me to do or places you don’t want me to touch.” This had to be even, not all about me.

“My tail. I don’t mind you holding it, but don’t stroke it. It’s very sensitive, and I find it arousing.”

I nodded, though I was very interested in kissing it. Eventually, maybe.

He cleared his throat as his eyes lifted again. “Yes. Just not unless you want to fuck.”

That was reasonable.

“I don’t mind if you touch my arm or side in public, but I am the captain, and as such, I do have to remain professional. That also means, when I’m on duty, if you could not intentionally try to distract me, I would appreciate it.”

“Like how?” I couldn’t control my thoughts all of the time.

“Like when you thought of tweaking my tail as I was talking to my subordinate.”

Ah. Yeah, that had been fun, but I understood. “I can still tease you though, right?”

“Of course. I like it.”

Good, because I loved messing with him. Playing with Don was quickly becoming one of my favorite things. I swallowed as I looked at his wide lap and my heart thrashed. “Can I…” I trailed off as I pictured climbing onto his lap and pressing against his chest.

“Yes.”

Heart in my throat and nerves dancing like electricity through my veins, I stood and went toward him. Don didn’t move, except his eyes followed my movements and his tail thrashed. I placed my hands on his shoulders, marveling at the firm muscles beneath my hands, and climbed onto his lap.

It was awkward as I sat on him. Unease rolled through me. I was in a very vulnerable position if he chose to take advantage of it. Don slowly lifted a hand, giving me plenty of time to pull away, and cupped my cheek. General peace blanketed me. I sagged against his chest, boneless.

I shook my head. “I don’t want your inner fire.”

He yanked away. “My apologies.”

I nuzzled his neck. “I’m not mad. I don’t want your inner fire. I want you, Don.”

“Thank you,” he said in a thick voice.

I shrugged.

Warm. I was so warm and comfortable. Heat radiated off of him like a furnace. His lap was easily wide enough for me to sit on, but not so wide that straddling him like this was uncomfortable.

Unable to stop myself, I rubbed my face against his chest and neck. His shirt was soft on my cheek, while his scales had a discernible ridge to them, though they were smooth at the same time. I loved the texture of them on my skin.

Thoughts of being naked and rubbing all over his black scales while kissing the peeking glimpses of red and gold skin ran across my mind, making me groan. Don wasn’t far behind. The deep rumble stoked my arousal, though a tinge of discomfort tainted it.

“Vince,” he whispered. I felt something rather large harden beneath me, and I tensed. “Don’t worry. I won’t do anything.”

I nodded, but the tension remained. Working through the panic, I grabbed his arms and placed them on my waist. “Hug me.”

He surrounded me and lowered his head to my shoulder. The longer he breathed, the more his cock relaxed until it didn’t nudge me any longer.

Well, I now knew he was attracted to me.

Don chuckled. “Was that ever in doubt?”

“I’m human and scrawny. It wouldn’t be weird if you weren’t into me.”

Don pulled back to see my face. “I didn’t understand that word.”

Most of the time the ship’s NAID translated what I said well or Don got the context from my mind. I was pretty sure he understood English fairly well because that’s what I thought in. But apparently one had squeaked through.

“What word?”

He made some guttural noise that NAID didn’t offer any translation for.

I thought through my sentence, then asked, “Scrawny?” When he nodded, I explained. “Small. I’m short and thin. Most drakcol I’ve seen are huge.”

“I understand.” Don guided me back to his shoulder, and I settled against him with a groan. How was he this comfortable? He held me loosely in his grasp, but it was safe. “I found you attractive from the beginning.”

I smiled against his scales. So I was vain, sue me. I was cute enough to be vain. Feeling brave, I kissed his neck. Don stilled, and I immediately tensed.

“I liked that,” he whispered as his arms tightened around my waist.

“Me too,” I replied. The scrape of his scales on my sensitive lips was nicer than I had predicted. Needing a distraction, I said, “Talk to me.”

“About?”

“Your interests. Work. Anything. I want to know you.”

He relaxed beneath me, holding me as close as possible. “I’m rather boring, or so I’m told. I work. A lot. I like music and science. My closest friends are my brothers and my only cousin. I enjoy experiences much like Kalvoxrencol does, but I don’t like war simulations. I prefer stories.”

“That’s not boring,” I said, giving him another kiss. Fuck whoever told him he was boring. People could like whatever they liked. He didn’t have to be into high-energy activities to be interesting.

Don nuzzled the top of my head. “My work is interesting. I oversee some of our most important and secret science projects.”

“Like what?” I asked, then added, “If you can tell me.”

“I don’t imagine you will tell anyone, but there is only so much I can relate. The most fascinating thing I oversee is the Immortal Planet.”

“What?” I slid my arms around him, stroking his back. I felt his wings curl in tighter. I’d wondered if they disappeared into his body like magic, but apparently not. His wings escaped the confines of his shirt, and I brushed my fingers over the supple, leathery membrane.

“Five hundred and twenty-two years ago, we found a trace of something similar to the Crystal. We followed it. Not me personally,” he clarified, which was nice because I had no idea how old he was. “I’m forty cycles by your planet’s rotation. Drakcol live about the same length as humans.”

“I’m thirty-one.”

He paused for a second before continuing. “The Immortal Planet has people on the surface who resonate with the same energy as the Crystal.”

“Why do you call it the Immortal Planet?”

“We have sent probes close enough to scan the planet. We have to be careful because they are an underdeveloped planet. But the same people are there now as were there five hundred years ago. They haven’t aged much.

We don’t know how long they live or how the Crystal is so similar to them.

Some theorize this is where the Crystal originated from. ”

People that were over five hundred years old. That was unbelievable. “Why don’t you take a sample? Seth said we would either be citizens or samples, so why don’t you beam someone up here, then wipe their memory? Presto. Mystery solved.”

Don gently stroked my back, and I moaned, loving the sensation. He took a shuddering breath before continuing, “We don’t like to take people. We can, but we rarely do. Seth was an extraordinary circumstance. Additionally, the Immortal Planet isn’t in phase with us.”

“What?” This was some Star Trek shit.

“They’re out of phase with us. It’s a different time.

We don’t know how many years, but enough that the person may be poorly affected if we didn’t appropriately plan.

We haven’t figured out how to do it safely yet.

And even if we did, I don’t know that we would take a sample without very good reason to. ”

I was glad that wasn’t my problem.

He chuckled and continued to rub my back in long, smooth strokes. Every touch was soothing. I’d missed this. I’d touched Seth and Teddy a bit since I came aboard, but nothing as personal as this. I wanted more, though at the same time, I didn’t want to push myself too far. At least not yet.

With a clear thought, I projected the image of me kissing Don. A chaste, quick kiss. His hands stilled before squeezing me. He loosened his hold, though, long before panic could set in.

“Yes,” he said.

I leaned back and stared into his deep green eyes, which reminded me of a forest with their flecks of brown and gold. I wanted to lose myself in them. I slid my hands over his shoulders and around his neck. Going up on my knees, I pressed my lips against his in a gentle brush.

My first feeling was arousal. I wanted to deepen the kiss and taste him, to feel his tongue slide along mine, but on the heels of the enticing feeling was fear, as well as unwanted memories of someone smashing their lips to mine as salty tears mixed in with the kiss. I gagged, pulling away.

Don instantly held me close and rested his hand on my cheek.

He didn’t calm me, though. He waited for me to decide what I wanted.

Part of me wanted to fall under the waves of calm.

Another was afraid I would get addicted to the sensation like a drug.

Instead, I breathed through it, focusing on the warmth of his palm.

It took a minute before I relaxed against his chest. “Sorry.”

“Do not apologize for your reaction to what was done to you.”

“I’m getting more out of this than you.”

His other hand cupped my cheek, so my face rested between his wide palms. “This doesn’t have to be an equal exchange. That’s not how relationships work, whether friendship or romance. I need you as much as you need me.”

I scoffed.

“Do you wish to feel my feelings?”

“What?”

“I can share with you.”

I nodded, excited for some reason.

Don stared into my eyes, and something unlocked in my brain.

He was happy, content. He liked that I trusted him.

He loved the feel of my smaller body on his much larger one.

The coolness and smooth texture of my skin entranced him.

Memories of the kiss resurfaced, but this time I experienced it from Don’s mind.

The slight brush had elicited a wave of lust and warmth as his chest pounded.

My pulse elevated at the feeling.

When I’d pulled away, he hadn’t cared in regards to himself. All he’d been concerned about was me.

I still felt as if I needed him far more than he needed me.

His thoughts changed to people's reaction to his inner fire, from his brother’s occasional annoyance and dislike to people's outright hostility to him.

“You are the only person who hasn’t cared,” he said, slowly pulling his thoughts away until I was alone once more.

I kissed his neck before wrapping my arms around him, burying my hand in his hair. “Don’t let them bother you. There’s nothing wrong with you, do you hear me?”

Don cuddled me close while his tail coiled around my ankle.