Page 33
Before I knew what was happening, Seth had his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. I closed my eyes, leaning into the comfort of his hold. He was here with me, and that was everything I needed.
The story of what had happened spilled out of me faster than I thought possible as tears slid down my cheeks and grief tore me apart. Every pain, every shadow, every punishment, every customer, everything came out, and Seth didn’t flinch.
We ended up on the ground, leaning against a tree as Seth rocked me.
I had my face buried against him, and he held me close.
Seth didn’t say anything, but what could he say?
Empty platitudes would’ve pissed me off, and he didn’t do that.
He was just there, letting me process what happened however I wanted.
I wiped my dripping nose on his shoulder, and Seth laughed, tousling my hair. He kissed my temple. “Shit, Vince, still doing that?”
I’d done that often when we were kids. I’d believed in the philosophy that if I licked it first, no one else would want it as a child. Seth had fallen into that category. Now, it was a disgusting habit.
“I guess.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“You suspected, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “I knew something had happened. You’ve always been super affectionate with me more than anyone else, and you tense when I touch you or sometimes pull away. At first, I thought it might just be me, but you also did it with Teddy, so I knew something had happened.”
I sighed, head going back against the rough bark as I leaned into Seth’s side. “How did you get over it?”
“What?”
“Everything that was done to you.”
Seth shook his head. “I didn’t for a long time, but I’ve had years, Vince. You’ve had weeks. And I was still struggling when I met Kal. I can’t hear you-know-who’s name without getting upset. But I had help.”
“Kal?”
“Yeah. He helped, but no. I’ve started seeing someone.”
I looked at him.
“Fyn has a therapist for his depression. Caleb got one to help with getting used to his new body. I have one that’s helped me process. There’s no quick fix to the shit that life throws at you. You have to work at getting through it.”
“Great. Just what I want to hear. More work ahead. Perfect.”
He chuckled. “Sorry, Vinnie.”
Tears came to my eyes at the old nickname. One more confession was needed, because I had to fucking move on. I looked straight at him and said the three words that I had never, not once, gotten out. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said with a smile.
I shook my head. “I am in love with you. I have been for years.”
His expression fell. “Vince.”
“I know you love Kal, and that’s fine.” I hugged my knees, laughing. “God, I’ve wanted to tell you for years.”
“I never knew.” His eyes were wet.
Fuck. I hadn’t wanted to upset him. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I can’t take that. No tears.”
He wiped his round cheeks. “Sorry.”
I bumped his shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m ready to get over you. I need to. I just want to be friends, but I needed to say the words out loud once. I’m a selfish dick like that.”
“You’re not.”
“I am. I wanted to take you from Kal, but he’s so damn perfect.”
Seth burst into laughter. “He’s pretty great.”
I shoved him gently, and Seth laughed again. I said, smiling, “Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Being my friend.”
“That’s not going to change. Not ever.” He shifted to his knees so he could face me. “I’m sorry for cutting you off. I shouldn’t have. I can blame everything that happened on… Travis, but honestly, what I did to you was horrible and I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t want to be friends afterward.”
“I got why you didn’t.”
He settled beside me again, and I curled into his side. I felt lighter. Everything still sucked, but I felt a lot lighter. Someone knew; someone I trusted.
“I’m going home,” I whispered.
“Yeah, it’s late and you should get some sleep. Don’s probably worried about you. I know he’s been sleeping in your room. The brothers like to gossip.”
I shook my head. “I’m going back to Earth.”
His eyes turned glassy. “What?”
“I can’t stay. I’m going home.”
“Is it because of me?”
“No,” I said. “I want to forget, and going to Earth will let me do that.”
“But you won’t remember seeing me again.”
“I won’t, but you will. You and Teddy are happy and safe. That’s enough for me. I want to go back so I can forget. That’s how I can move on. How I’ll finally be at peace and back to my old self.”
“That’s not enough for me,” he whispered. “I need you, Vinnie.”
Tears burned the backs of my eyes. I had an impossible time not giving Seth whatever he wanted.
“Please don’t leave.”
I pushed my face against his shoulder, sobbing. “I need to.”
Seth pulled me close. “I won’t stop you, even though I want to, but I will sure as hell miss you.”
“I will miss you too, even if I won’t remember seeing you again, seeing you safe, seeing you happy. I will always miss you, Seth.”
“Captain Dontilvynsan,” NAID said, making me jolt.
I immediately reached for Vince to soothe him back to sleep, and froze, soul racing. He was gone. I blinked, sitting up. Where was he?
“Captain Dontilvynsan,” NAID said again.
“Yes?”
“Prince Kalvoxrencol is attempting to reach you.”
He must have tried to ping me on my touchstone, but I hadn’t heard. “Put him through.”
My youngest brother appeared on the screen across from Vince’s bed. “Sorry to wake you.”
“It’s fine. What’s wrong, Pest?”
“Vince came to speak to Seth. He looked upset. I didn’t want you to wake up and not know where he was.”
My brothers knew I’d been sleeping in Vince’s room.
I hadn’t bothered to hide it, and Serlotminden had caught me leaving one morning.
He’d teased me fiercely, but I wasn’t embarrassed about our relationship.
Vince cared about me. He’d called me “his” once.
I wanted to be his permanently, but that wouldn’t happen, so I was keeping tight control of my emotions.
“I would’ve worried,” I conceded. “Do you know what he wanted?”
“To steal my mate maybe,” he grumbled. If Kalvoxrencol truly believed that, he wouldn’t have let Seth out of his sight. I remained silent, waiting. He continued, “I don’t know.”
Was Vince upset at our latest failed attempt?
We’d been kissing when he asked to take off my shirt.
I’d agreed, cautiously, hoping he wasn’t going to initiate sex that he wasn’t ready for, and then he’d taken off his own.
My eyes had feasted on the sight of his bare skin and the trail of hair down his stomach.
We’d gone back to kissing, but when our bare chests touched, he’d panicked.
Vince had climbed off my lap so fast, he’d fallen.
He’d been unable to calm down until he begged for my help.
He’d kept apologizing over and over again.
I hadn’t cared besides the fact he was terrified.
After we dressed, I’d pulled him onto my lap and held him close, sharing my thoughts with him.
Vince loved when I opened up to him. He’d fallen asleep like that.
I’d never been as open with someone as I was with Vince. He was the only one I’d ever shared my thoughts and general feelings with, because I trusted him. He wasn’t going to get annoyed or hate me.
I lay back on the soft bed, waiting for Vince to return. A sudden flare of agony and grief pierced my brain like a knife. I clutched my head, groaning. Vince. He was in pain—horrible pain. I was out the door without a single thought besides finding and protecting him.
I found Vince in the atrium with Seth. He was sobbing as Seth held him, rocking him gently and placing kisses on the top of Vince’s head.
I wanted to rip Seth away and soothe Vince myself, but I grabbed ahold of the violent instinct.
Warrior souls were naturally protective, and Vince called to my instincts more than anyone.
But Seth wasn’t a threat to what was mine.
Seth was helping him, I realized as Vince told him what had happened on Xome.
Something inside me uncoiled. He’d needed to actually talk about it, and Seth was the best choice, above Bartholomew, even above me.
They were best friends, and Seth understood what it was like to be hurt. They trusted each other.
Slowly, I backed out of the atrium. I would wait for Vince in his room.
When he did come back, Vince raced into the bedroom and threw himself at me. I held him close. “I have you.”
He snuggled. “Don’t let me go.”
I nuzzled his head. “Never.”
“I mean it, Don.”
“As do I, Little Warrior.”
Vince looked up, eyes wet. “It wasn’t my fault, was it?”
He was thinking of what had happened on Xome.
I’d caught the occasional stray thought that he was culpable in his assault because he hadn’t fought hard enough or long enough, and now, I was being able to see the entire scope of his thoughts.
How this entire situation was something Vince blamed himself for, which was utterly false.
I cupped the back of his head. “None, and I mean absolutely none, of this is your fault, Vince. You were taken. You were hurt. You survived. You are not to blame for what others did to you.”
His breath sped up and his hand fisted on my chest. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
He was practically panting as he said again, “It wasn’t my fault.”
I didn’t think Vince was talking to me anymore.
The first tear slid down his cheek. “None of this was my damn fault. None of it.”
Tugging him closer, I kissed his forehead. Vince shivered. A sob broke out of him, and I kissed him again. More tears landed on my chest as Vince wept, curling against me.
Table of Contents
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- Page 33 (Reading here)
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