Page 144 of Conquered

“You can choose. As long it’s something our girl will enjoy,” Loki grins patronisingly, winking at me, then walking over to Ash and holding out his hand.

“Deal.” Ash grasps it in a hard grip and shakes to close the deal.

“Did that just happen?” I question aloud, shaking my head as I look at the two guys.These boys do take this shit seriously!

“My turn,” Ash declares, looking straight at me with his steel gaze. I swallow hard, butterflies taking flight in my stomach as a shiver of premonition comes over me. “Truth or dare, Princess?” he asks.

“Truth,” I decide, hoping that he goes easy on me, but knowing that he won’t. He’s Ash, after all.

His eyes soften slightly, and I just know it’s going to be bad.

“Tell me how you found your mother.”

Those seven words stop my heart, the world ceases spinning, and it’s like the blood has frozen in my veins. My gaze latches onto his, pleading with him not to do this. Not to make me relive that day. But he holds firm.

“What the fuck, man!?” Loki snarls, and I hear Jax growl low beside me. “You don’t have to answer that.” Loki turns to me, anger and desperate sadness making his emerald eyes churn and froth, like a violent sea.

“Yes, she does,” Ash commands, voice unwavering and firm, yet not unkind. “She needs to face this, Loki.”

They start to argue, getting in each other’s faces, but it’s as if they are far away, or I’m underwater, because all I can hear is the rush of blood in my ears as the memories assault me one after the other.

“It was my fault,” I whisper, unable to stop the words from spilling from my lips.

“What was your fault, baby?” Jax asks gently, taking my hand in his larger one. Ash and Loki stop and look at me, Kai shifting closer to me, his warmth comforting me as he rubs my arm.

“My mother’s death. It was all my fault,” I answer him, already feeling the burn of tears at the back of my throat.

Loki starts to say something, but Ash puts a hand on his arm to stop him. “How?” Ash prompts, and like a dam has burst, the whole sad story comes pouring out of me.

“W–we were meant to go out shopping together, but we fought about something that was so trivial, I can’t even fucking remember what it was now. So I left, and met up with a friend instead,” I tell them, taking a shaky breath to steady me for the next part. “When I got home, I remember opening the door to our flat and being hit by this metallic smell, like copper pennies.” I hesitate, and the scent comes rushing back, filling my nostrils as bile hits the back of my throat.

Leaning over, I take a sip of water from my glass on the side table. “I called out, but there was no answer. The radio was on in the kitchen playingLovelyby Billie Eilish, I used to love that song. Anyway, I headed in that direction, ready to apologise for earlier.” I take another desperate breath, closing my eyes as I relay the next part. “There was so much blood, my mind didn’t realise what it was at first, and it soaked into my favourite yellow TOMS.” I can see the crimson river as if I was back in the flat, looking at the scene again. I blink my eyes open, and I’m back in the dorm, Jax gripping my hand tightly, Kai rubbing soothing circles on my back, and Loki at my feet. I look up and see Ash is still across the room, a devastating sadness in his eyes.

“I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was no use, she was already...gone.” I taste salt as tears flow freely down my face, dripping off my chin until Jax starts to wipe them with histhumb. “After that, I passed out, and woke up in a hospital, with what I later discovered was my uncle standing nearby.”

“Oh, Baby Girl, it wasn’t your fault,” Jax rumbles out, pained. He scoops me up and places me onto his lap, and I sob against his chest, my fists clenched in his hoodie. He strokes my hair as Loki massages my feet, and Kai keeps rubbing my back.

Finally, my tears dry up, and I’m bone tired, yet a little lighter at the same time. More at peace. Ash was right. I needed to face what had happened, instead of running away from it. I look up with a watery smile, gazing into the faces of these boys who are my family now. We belong to each other so completely, nothing will ever separate us.

I turn to seek out Ash, wanting to thank him for forcing me to finally confront my grief, only to find him gone.

CHAPTER FORTY

LILLY

It’s finally the last week of term, or semester as they say here. We're called into the school's chapel on Monday for a special service. Highgate is all about showing off its good, upstanding Christian students.

What a load of shit. Did they not see the orgies at Halloween? Oh yeah, no, they didn’t, because they’d just left, turning a blind eye.

We all file into the carved wooden pews, facing the front, and I can see Headmaster, sorry, PrincipalRobertson standing up front with a group of five others.

Holy shit! Is that...Pentatonix?!

“Today we have some special guests, who are going to perform for us,” he informs us in a self-important tone. “They will start withAmazing Grace.”

Outside I'm cool as a motherfucking cucumber, but inside, I'm fangirling so hard I'm surprised I'm not throwing my knickers at them!

I hear an amused snort from my right as I’m surrounded by the vanilla scent that is all Loki.