Page 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Before meeting Garret for our Saturday movie night, I do some prep work. I take a long shower, shave my legs, straighten my hair, brush and floss my teeth, and put on makeup.

I have no idea why I’m going to all this trouble to watch movies with a “friend.” I attempt to rationalize it but come up with nothing other than the possibility that living with all these girls has given me an estrogen boost. My girly-girl side just can’t help but come out when I’m living with a floor full of them. And frequent visits to Harper’s exploding pink room certainly doesn’t help matters.

I knock on Garret’s door at 7, right on time. When he opens it, I’m greeted with a sea of sparkling blue lights hanging from the ceiling. They cast a soft glow as they’re the only lights on in the room.

“What’s all this?” I ask, walking inside.

“I wanted to add some atmosphere. It’s cool, right? And now we don’t have to use the harsh overhead lights or the bright desk lamp.”

“I don’t know,” I say suspiciously. “This seems like some type of romantic mood lighting.” I turn to him. “And I can tell you right now that you’re not getting sex tonight.”

He laughs and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Tonight? So you’d consider it some other night? Okay. That works for me.”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant that you’re not getting sex tonight or any night. At least not with me.”

Why did I just say that? It’s far too bold a statement. I basically ruled out having sex with him for all of eternity which is not at all what I wanted to do. But it’s too late now. I can’t take it back.

“Well, if we’re not having sex you might as well leave right now.”

I stand there in shock as my anger rises. I should’ve known that’s all he wanted from me. I try to push past him to get to the door, but before I can take two steps he scoops me up in his arms.

“I was kidding, Jade. Man, you can’t take everything so seriously.”

“Put me down.”

“Only if you promise to stay.”

I try to wiggle free, but it just makes him hold me tighter. I could use my self defense techniques on him, but that would hurt him and I really don’t want to do that. Plus, I like being in his arms. He’s really strong. Holding me up like this doesn’t even seem to be any effort for him.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

He starts to put me down, then stops. “One more thing. You have to give me a compliment. After all the insults you’ve given me, I don’t think it’s too much to ask.”

“Just put me down.”

“One compliment, Jade. That’s it.”

I sigh. “Fine. I like your stupid lights.”

It makes him laugh to the point that he can no longer hold me. He sets me down on his giant bean bag chair.

His cell phone chirps. “That’s the pizza. I’ll be right back.”

While he’s gone I stare up at the twinkly blue lights. They are really cool.

“Did you pick out a movie?” Garret comes back with a large pizza balanced on his arm.

“Yeah. The crime-fighting dog movie.”

“We’re not watching that, Jade.”

“Oh, we are so watching it.” I crawl over to the box of movies and fish it out.

Garret doesn’t bother trying to stop me because he knew we would watch it eventually.

After the movie, which isn’t too bad for a cartoon, Garret takes the pizza box to the outside dumpster because it’s stinking up the room. When he returns I’m searching the box for another movie.

“I’m picking the next one,” he says. “After that last one, I’m starting to question your judgment.”

“It’s your movie!” I go to his fridge to get another soda.

“This one’s good.” He holds up a comedy.

“As long as it’s not some sappy romance.” I go back to my place on the bean bag chair, expecting him to sit against his bed like last time but instead he sits next to me on the bean bag chair. His change of seats has me wondering what’s going on with him. Our friends-only agreement still stands and yet sometimes he tries to push its boundaries by holding my hand or kissing my cheek or getting really close like he’s doing now. And as tempting as it is to take that next step, I feel like I shouldn’t. But damn, it’s tempting.

Midway through the movie I get sleepy. An hour later I wake up lying against Garret, his arm around me. He’s asleep and the TV is now a blue screen.

“Garret, get up.” I push myself off him and get up to take the movie out.

“The movie’s already over?” He yawns. “How did that happen?”

“We fell asleep. You want to watch another one or do you want to go to bed?”

“It’s only 10:30. It’s too early for bed. Let’s see what’s on TV.”

I grab the TV remote and return to the chair. I flip to an old movie from the eighties.

“My mom loved this one,” Garret says. “It’s about these two girls who—”

“You never mention your mom. Does she live around here?”

He gives me an odd expression. “My mom is dead. I thought you knew that. Don’t you watch the news?”

I’m slightly offended by the comment, but I don’t think he meant it to sound condescending. I turn the volume on the TV down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I feel my cheeks getting warm.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I was 10 when it happened.”

“Why was it on the news?” I almost don’t want to know. If it made the news, something really bad must’ve happened. The news only reports violent deaths like murders.

“She died in a plane crash. It was one of those small private planes.”

That was my other guess. Some type of tragic accident. But I’m not sure why he thinks I would’ve heard about it on the news in Iowa.

“Did it happen close to here?” I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Garret. I shouldn’t ask. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, it’s fine. I can talk about it. It, um, it happened in Virginia. My parents were down in DC for a political fundraiser. My dad had to fly back early for a meeting. Mom stayed behind to attend another event that night. She hated that political crap, but she was kind of expected to go because my dad was a big supporter of this guy’s re-election campaign. Anyway, to say thanks, the guy offered to fly my mom home on his private jet. He had to do a speech in Hartford so the plane was supposed to arrive there and Dad and I were going to drive up and get her.”

Garret pauses for a moment. I can tell that despite what he said, this isn’t easy for him to talk about. “My mom didn’t like private planes. She said they weren’t safe. That’s why we didn’t have one back then. Anyway, soon after the plane took off it crashed. No survivors. It only made national news because that guy was a senator. And to this day, there’s all these rumors on the Internet about how it wasn’t an accident and how someone was trying to kill the senator. Crazy conspiracy shit. Just last year there was an hour long story about it on one of those news programs. It’s like it never goes away.”

I sit there not sure what to say. I had no idea Garret had this giant loss in his life. I get the feeling he hasn’t shared this with many people. It almost seems like the topic hasn’t come up in years. Maybe he tries to forget it. And then I go and open my big mouth asking him all about it.

I feel like I should say or do something, but I don’t know how to respond. It proves once again that I suck at comforting people. Garret is sitting there quietly, likely reliving the event in his head thanks to me. His normally happy face is now sad. Even his eyes look sad. I feel terrible seeing him like this.

“Stand up,” I say to him.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

He stands up.

I stand right in front of him. “Let’s do that thing you taught me.”

“What thing?”

“That thing with your arms.”

He looks at me, confused.

“You know that day when you found me in your room after I accidentally spent the night here? That thing you did after the pool?”

He starts to smile. “You mean a hug?”

“Yeah. That. I need to practice that. Can you show me again?”

His smile grows. He puts his arms around me. I do the same to him.

“Tighter,” he instructs.

I squeeze tighter, resting my head against his chest. We stay in that position for several minutes, the blue lights twinkling above us. As he starts to pull away, he stops briefly to kiss my forehead, then whispers in my ear, “Thank you.”

Yes! I finally did it. I comforted someone. And it felt incredibly good.

* * *

The next morning, we meet for breakfast again for week two of our Al’s Pancake House tradition. This time I order blueberry pancakes.

“I don’t know what Al puts in these things but they are beyond amazing,” I say, chewing slowly to make each bite last.

“I know, right?” Garret ordered the basic buttermilk ones this time, also an excellent choice. “Are you going to write about these in your English journal again?”

I laugh. “Yeah. Why? You don’t like reading about pancakes?”

“It could get old by the end of the semester. And I think you’re going to run out of things to say.”

“Never.” I close my eyes, savoring them. “These are so good that this week I might even make up a poem about them.”

“Well, that’s something to look forward to,” he kids. “You really like pancakes, don’t you?”

“What’s not to love? They’re basically a dessert but you get to eat them as a meal in giant stacks.”

“You’re funny.” He takes a drink of his orange juice. “My mom used to love pancakes, too.”

I almost choke hearing him mention his mom. I didn’t think he’d want to talk about her again after last night.

“Katherine, my wicked stepmother, can’t stand pancakes. She says it’s poor people food. She won’t even let Lilly have them.”

“Lilly is your sister?” It seems odd that I don’t know this by now, but we’ve both avoided talking about our families.

“Yeah. She’s Katherine’s daughter. And my dad’s. So she’s my half sister. Really sweet kid. Not at all like her mother.”

“So Katherine’s your dad’s second wife?” I know she’s the third but I’d rather let him correct me than try to guess how all these wives fit in relation to his mother.

“Third wife. My mom was his second. His first wife was kind of an arranged marriage so it doesn’t really count.”

“Arranged marriage?”

“My dad was only 22 and his parents made him marry this girl because her family was super rich and connected. Shocking, right? So they got married like they were supposed to, but it didn’t last. The woman didn’t want to marry my dad either so it was doomed from the start.”

“And then he met your mom?”

“A few years later. Her family didn’t have money and definitely didn’t have any connections so my grandparents got really mad when my dad married her. They even took him out of their will. And my grandfather fired him from the company. But they softened up after I was born. You know, first grandson and all. The grandparents wanted to be involved in my life so they reconciled with my dad, but they still didn’t welcome my mom.”

“What was she like? Your mom?” I’m not sure if I should even be asking him that but the words just came out.

“She was funny. She laughed a lot. She liked to play music really loud and drive my dad crazy.” He smiles. “She loved to give hugs.”

“So that’s where you learned it from.”

“Yeah. I really miss her.” It’s almost like I can feel his loss from across the table. “I know if she was still around, my dad wouldn’t be the way that he is now. He totally changed after she died. He became a different person. And he got even worse after he married Katherine.”

The waitress brings the check. I give her an annoyed look for interrupting us even though the woman is only doing her job.

“Ready to go?” Garret asks, back to his cheerful self.

“Yes.” I look down at my empty plate. “But it’s sad that I have to wait another whole week to eat these again.”

He laughs as he drops some cash on the table and gets up from the booth. “We could always make a weekday trip if you’re not able to make it that long.”

When we get back to campus, Mr. Kensington is there waiting in the parking lot in front of our residence hall.

“Dad, what are you doing here?” Garret seems nervous.

Mr. Kensington gives me a quick smile. “Jade, nice to see you again. I hope your classes are going well.”

I smile back. “Yes. Classes are going very well. I really like it here.”

“Good. Very good.” He nods, like he’s signaling me to leave. When I don’t, he seems annoyed. “I need to talk to my son now if you don’t mind.”

“No. Not at all. Goodbye, Mr. Kensington. I’ll see you later, Garret.”

I don’t know what this is about, but Garret’s dad seems kind of angry. When I get to my room, I peek out the window and see Garret and his dad in the grassy area just beyond the parking lot. His dad appears to be scolding him, making big hand gestures while Garret keeps his head down.

Garret finally speaks, looking like he’s about to explode. His father interrupts and gets right in Garret’s face. Garret looks like he’s going to fight back but then gives up and puts his head down again. His dad turns and walks away, then gets in his car and drives off.

Garret walks over to a bench and sits down, his shoulders slumped forward. I feel like I should go see what happened. I didn’t have to hear their conversation to know that something is definitely wrong.

When I get outside, he’s no longer there. I race up to his room but he’s not there either. I don’t see him the rest of Sunday. I assume he played flag football and then watched a game or two at that guy’s house again.

I don’t talk to or see Garret again until Tuesday afternoon during English. He’s late to class so I can’t talk to him until it’s over. He races out and I have to chase him down. “What’s going on with you? It’s like you’re completely ignoring me.”

“I can’t spend every minute with you, Jade.” His tone is harsh. He’s never talked to me that way and I don’t like it. “I’m behind on my homework. I’m not swimming enough. Blake’s pissed because I haven’t been doing stuff with him.”

“But you don’t even like Blake.” I’m almost at a jog trying to keep up with him. “Garret, wait. Why are you acting like this? Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

He stops abruptly and places his hands on my shoulders. “No, Jade. You didn’t do anything wrong.” His tone has changed to one that’s warm and kind, like the Garret I’m used to. “Don’t even think that, okay? This isn’t about you.”

“Then what is it about? Why are you avoiding me?”

There’s something Garret’s not telling me. I can see it in his eyes and the desperate way he’s looking at me right now. It’s like he wants to tell me the truth but can’t.

“I just—we just can’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry, Jade.”

“Can’t see each other? But we’re just friends. You can’t be my friend anymore?” Hearing myself say it, I realize I sound like a little kid on the playground. I try again. “You’re saying that we’re done being friends?”

“I have to go. I’m sorry. I really am.”

He races off and I’m left standing there completely confused.