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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Our first? Are you thinking we’ll have others?”

“We have four years here, Jade. I’m sure we’ll come up with some others.”

I’m surprised that Garret thinks we’ll still be doing stuff together in four years. That’s a long time. There’s no way he’ll be friends with me in four years. But I like the thought of it. And I love the idea of making traditions, something I’ve never had.

The waitress comes by and clears our plates and takes the credit card.

“So what are your plans for today?” I ask Garret.

“I’m playing football this afternoon. I’m on a flag football team and we play every Sunday. After that we’re all going to this guy’s apartment to watch some games. He has an 80-inch TV.”

“I didn’t know you played football.”

“It’s one of my many hidden talents.” He gives me that cocky smile that I’ve seen several times now. I find it extremely hot. I love confidence in a guy and Garret’s definitely got plenty of that. But so far, he hasn’t crossed the line to arrogant. Plus, he always combines that cocky smile with a tone that implies he’s just kidding.

“And what are your plans for today?” he asks.

“Probably go for a run. Call Frank and Ryan.”

“You never say anything about them. Are you related to Frank? Is he like an uncle?”

“I thought you knew my whole life story. Didn’t your dad fill you in about Frank?”

“My dad barely told me anything about you. I swear.”

“Frank is my legal guardian. Well, he was until I turned 18. He and Ryan moved into my neighborhood when I was 12.”

“So your neighbor offered to be your guardian?”

“He’s more than a neighbor. He’s been like a dad to me ever since I met him. And he knew my mom from college.”

“Your mom went to college?”

“Yes. Why are you so surprised? She didn’t get knocked up until she was 20. She had two years of college. Anyway, Frank took me in after she died. He has MS and now he’s in a wheelchair. Well, he doesn’t always use it but he’s supposed to.”

“That sucks. Is he going to be okay?”

“I don’t know. It changes by the day. The day I got here he had to be rushed to the hospital and I thought he was going to die.”

“Jade, why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have dragged you all over town that day if I knew that was going on.”

“It was good you got me out. Otherwise I would’ve sat in my room thinking about it. But Frank’s doing a lot better now.”

“So is Frank divorced?”

“No, his wife died a long time ago. She got cancer when Ryan was just a baby. Frank was working at the paper and going to grad school at the time and he hired my mom to babysit Ryan so he could take his wife to treatments. That’s how he got to know my mom. She was a freshman when he met her. Actually his wife met her first because she worked at the college. Anyway, around the time my mom got pregnant, Frank moved the family to San Diego to be closer to his wife’s parents. She died a few months later, but Frank stayed out there so his in-laws could help take care of Ryan. Then when they died, he moved back to Des Moines.”

“So your mom used to babysit Ryan.” The way he says it I know what he’s thinking.

“Yeah, I know. But apparently she was normal back then. She didn’t turn crazy until after I was born.” The waitress returns with the receipt. I scoot out of the booth. “Let’s get out of here before I order more pancakes.”

On the drive back to campus, Garret glances over at me. “You can take this if you want to go somewhere later.”

“Take what? The car?”

“Yeah. If you want to get off campus, just take it.”

“Are you kidding me? This car costs a fortune. I was scared to death to drive it the other night.”

“It’s insured, Jade. And I’m sure you’re a safe driver. How many tickets have you had?”

“None. And no accidents.”

“Then you’re already way better than me. You have a key to my room, so if you need the car, there’s an extra car key in my top drawer.”

“I’m not taking your car, Garret. But thank you for offering.”

“Hey, when we get back, come up to my room and take the food that’s left. You didn’t eat much of it.”

“It’s yours. You can have it.”

“I’ll never eat it. I’ll just throw it away.”

“Well, crap if you’re gonna do that, then I’ll take it.”

“Or, if you plan on watching another movie soon, you could leave some of it there.”

“I don’t know. Am I invited again?”

“Jade, I told you to come by whenever you want to use the TV or any of my stuff.”

“Okay, then leave the concession stand up. Maybe I’ll watch something this afternoon while you’re gone.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Well, I was kind of hinting for you to stop by when I was there, but whatever.”

* * *

I spend the rest of the day with Harper, who keeps asking what’s going on between Garret and me. I assure her we’re just friends, but she refuses to believe me.

“So you two have spent all this time together and you haven’t even kissed?” She asks it again for the third time. I keep lying and telling her we haven’t but she doesn’t buy it so I decide to fess up.

“Okay, fine. We kissed. One time. Are you happy now?”

“I knew it! You can’t be around a guy that hot and not kiss him.”

We’re sitting in her room on her pink comforter-covered bed. She’s leaning against the headboard, holding a pink pillow and playing with the fringe around its edges. I’m sitting at the end of her bed against the wall staring at the small chandelier she hung from the ceiling.

“So how was it? Garret seems like he’d be a good kisser.”

“How could you possibly tell that just by looking at him?”

“Well, first, he has great lips. And second, I’m sure he’s had a ton of practice.” She hugs the pillow to her chest. “So how was it? I need details, Jade.”

“It was good. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Did it go anywhere? If it did and you didn’t tell me I’m going to kill you.”

“It was just a kiss. Nothing more. And it probably won’t happen again because Garret and I are just friends.”

“I don’t understand this friends thing. Did you take a vow of celibacy or something?”

She says it seriously and it makes me laugh. “No. I just want to take things slow and be friends first.”

“And Garret’s okay with that? Because from my experience, guys expect sex on the third or fourth date.”

“He hasn’t pressured me like that. Probably because we’re not actually dating.”

“And you’re sure he’s not dating someone else?” Her face scrunches up like she’s afraid to even ask the question.

“No, but it’s really none of my business. He can date whoever he wants.” I say it like it doesn’t matter, but it does matter. I don’t want to even imagine him with anyone else.

She nudges my leg with her pink sock-covered foot. “Jade, I know you’d be hurt if he did that. You like him a lot. I can tell.”

“He’s just a friend, Harper. Nothing more.” I change the subject to her own love life and the guy from her sociology class, who she’s been out with twice now.

By early evening Harper takes off to play tennis and I decide to watch a movie in Garret’s room. I figure if he’s watching football with a bunch of guys, it could be pretty late before he gets back. Ryan and Frank are big football fans and would sometimes stay up until midnight to finish watching a game.

Just as my movie’s starting, I hear the door open. I quickly jump off the bed.

“So I guess you decided to come back and visit your concession stand.” Garret’s smiling from ear to ear like he was actually hoping to find me in his room.

“I didn’t know you’d be back so early.” I grab the remote and shut the TV off. “It’s only 7.”

“The game was a blowout so I left. There’s another game starting later but I didn’t feel like watching it.”

“I’ll let you have your room back.” I hurry past him but he catches me around my waist.

“You don’t have to leave.” He keeps hold of me. I don’t squirm away because I like it. A lot. “Let’s watch a movie.”

My excitement over him wanting me to stay fades when the smell of beer hangs in the air between us.

I push him away. “You were drinking.”

“Yeah? So?”

I glare at him.

“Jade, it was a couple beers. That’s what guys do when they watch football. They drink beer. And I stopped at two. The other guys had at least six each and they’re still drinking.”

“I don’t care what they do. I only care what you do.”

He backs away and throws his hands in the air. “This is fucking college, Jade. I’m not gonna swear off drinking for the next four years. That’s not even fair of you to ask. Do you know what a huge deal it was for me to not drink at that party yesterday? And people acted like something was wrong with me. Even my dad asked why I wasn’t drinking wine during dinner.”

“That’s messed up. You’re not even 21.”

“That’s how it is. I’m sorry if you don’t like it, but I’m not gonna lie to you. There’s gonna be times when I drink. And today I really wanted to drink more, but I held back because of you. And then you still get mad at me!”

“I understand why you did it. It’s a social thing. People expect you to drink. I get that. But I don’t have to like it. And I can’t be around you when I can smell it on you. I’ll see you later.”

He doesn’t say anything as I leave. We both need time to think about this. I realize that drinking is a part of college and I knew that any friends I made would drink. So maybe I’m being too hard on Garret. But being around him after he’s been drinking is hard on me . So where does that leave us? No longer friends? Only friends on weekdays? I’m not sure and I don’t think he is either.

* * *

The entire week goes by and I don’t hear a word from Garret, other than a quick hello during English on Tuesday and Thursday. It’s the first full week of classes so I tell myself he’s just busy. But I know that’s not the real reason we’re no longer hanging out.

I could just go up to his room and talk to him about this, but I don’t. It’s not like I’ve changed my mind, so what would I say to him? Sorry I got mad at you for drinking? I’m not sorry. I don’t want him to drink. It’s as simple as that. It’s a lot to ask and I know he still wants to drink so we’re at an impasse.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss him like crazy. I’ve been doing more stuff with Harper and some of her tennis friends, but it’s not the same. Garret knows about me. He knows about my past and he’s seen me in those dark moments I never wanted anyone to see. He may not understand what those were, but he still witnessed them and that brought us closer.

On Friday night after dinner, I do my biology homework because my useless lab partner refuses to meet with me to work on it. I can barely concentrate with all the yelling and running in the hallway as girls get ready to go out. Harper had a date and left an hour ago.

I search my backpack for my headphones so I can at least attempt to drown out all the noise.

“Jade?” The voice is followed by light knocking. “Jade? It’s Garret.”

What the hell does he want? To tell me he’s heading out to a party to get wasted?

“What do you want?” I ask as I open the door.

“Well, that’s a hell of a greeting.” He smiles and flashes those beautiful aqua blue eyes. My heart skips a beat seeing him there. And my stomach gets a little fluttery. Are those butterflies? So that’s a real thing? What the hell?

“I know it’s short notice, but I wanted to see if you want to watch a movie upstairs.” He leans against the door frame which for some reason is way hotter than if he just stood up straight.

I say nothing because I have no idea what’s going on here. We haven’t spoken all week and now he’s inviting me up to his room?

“I have snacks if that sways your decision. I replenished the concession stand.” He’s still smiling and I realize that I’m smiling back. Why am I smiling back? I’m supposed to be mad at him. How does he do this to me?

My smile fades as I pull myself together from whatever spell he’s put on me. “It’s Friday night. Shouldn’t you be out at a party?”

He shrugs with one shoulder. “Didn’t feel like it. So are you coming or not?”

“I don’t know. I—”

“Hey, Garret.” I see a girl’s red tipped fingers wrap around Garret’s arm. I duck my head out into the hallway to see that it’s Ava, wearing a tight red dress and black high heels. “Be my date for the party tonight.” She sets her gaze on me as she puts her mouth up to his ear. “I’ll make it worth your time.”

A surge of jealousy courses through me even though I have no reason to be jealous. Garret’s not mine. I have no claim on him. He’s free to do whatever he wants with Ava.

“I already have plans,” Garret says shifting away from her.

“Doing what?” Ava seems annoyed.

“We’re going to a movie.” I blurt it out, having no idea how or why those words just came out of my mouth.

Garret looks surprised but pleased. “Yes. Jade and I are going to a movie. But have fun at the party.”

Ava glares at me. She makes a huffing noise, then spins around on her heels and storms down the hall.

Garret doesn’t even notice. “What movie do you want to see? I’ll check the times.” He takes his phone from his pocket and starts swiping.

“What? No. I was just saying that to get rid of her.”

His eyes remain on the phone. “Too late now. You told her and now it’s public knowledge. We have to go. If she sees us around here she’ll know we lied.”

“I don’t care if she knows we lied.”

“Let’s see. We missed the 7:30 show but there are four movies that start at 9 or a little after. Should I read them off?”

“Hold on.” I cover his phone with my hand. “I never said I was going to the movies.”

He moves my hand away from the phone. “You just said it. Like a minute ago.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Never mind. You’re taking too long to decide. I’ll just pick one. Is that what you’re wearing?”

I glance down at my t-shirt and running shorts, confused by this entire scene. “Um, no. I guess not.”

Did I just agree to go with him? How did this happen?

He puts his phone away. “Can I come in? I’m kind of a target out here in the hall.”

“A target for what?” I ask, moving aside to let him in.

“Girls fondling me.” A smirk crosses his face as he waits for my reaction.

“Please tell me you’re kidding. Because if you’re not, then I need to start upping the insults again to bring you back down to earth.”

He’s trying hard to keep a straight face. “You saw Ava just now. Girls just can’t help themselves. What can I say?”

I shake my head and start rummaging through my drawer for a shirt. “ I can help myself. I’m completely immune to whatever you think you’ve got going on over there.”

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbles. “You need some help?”

“Why? You think I can’t dress myself?”

He stands next to me, staring down at the open drawer. “Everything in here is black.”

“Yeah.” I close the drawer and open the one beneath it. “And everything in here is white.”

“Where are your other shirts?”

“That’s it. Well, I have a few in the closet.”

He walks over to look. “You only wear black or white?”

“Uh, yeah. Are you just getting that? You’ve seen me how many times and you’ve never noticed that?”

“Huh. I guess not.”

“It’s just easier that way. Black and white go with everything.” I take a black t-shirt from the drawer.

“You should wear purple sometime.”

I almost choke laughing. “Purple? Are you joking?”

“What’s wrong with purple?”

“I’ve never worn anything purple in my life. I’ve never even considered it. It’s one of those weird colors that old ladies wear.”

“Lots of people wear purple. And with your green eyes, you would look great in purple.”

“I hate my green eyes. The last thing I want to do is draw attention to them.”

He comes closer and lifts my chin up with his hand. “How could you hate your eyes? They’re the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Why do you think I’m always staring at them?”

“Yeah, that’s hilarious.” I push him back. “Now get out of here so I can change. Wait in the hall. I’ll be like two seconds.”

“Jade, you know I’m not safe out there.” He says it as if he’s really in danger. “Did you see all those girls running around in towels and robes?”

I roll my eyes. “I swear. The insults are coming, my friend. So tell your ego to get ready.”

He stands there.

“You’re really not leaving? Fine. Then turn around.”

I change into my jeans and black shirt. “Okay, I’m done.”

He inspects me. “Yeah. You definitely need some color. The black and white thing is getting old.”

“Well, I’m not planning on buying new clothes so you’ll have to get over it.” I search through my desk drawer for money. “How much are movie tickets? I haven’t been to a movie in years, so I have no clue. Six bucks? Seven?”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.”

“Garret, you’re not paying.”

“You just saved me from being man-handled by Ava. That’s at least worth the price of a movie ticket. Maybe even some popcorn, too.”

I agree to his offer, thinking it’s just a few dollars and not worth arguing about. Then we get to the theater and the tickets are $12 a piece! When did movies get so expensive? I tell him to skip the overpriced popcorn, but he sneaks out after we get our seats and gets a giant bucket and two sodas.

“You have to get popcorn when you go to the movies,” he says when I scold him. “It’s like presents at Christmas. It’s tradition.”

I don’t bother telling him how presents were not a Christmas tradition at my house growing up.

“I can’t believe you picked a romantic comedy,” I say. “Do I seem like someone who would like that kind of movie?”

“No. That’s why I picked it. I thought it might sweeten you up a little.” He kisses my cheek. I ignore the comment. And the kiss. “So what’s the last movie you saw?”

“I can’t remember. I was like 15, so it’s been a while.”

“Why so long? You don’t like going to the movies?”

“I do, but it’s too expensive. And I didn’t have anyone to. . .” I decide not to finish that statement. The truth is that after my mom’s drug- and alcohol-induced suicide, the parents of the few friends I had didn’t want me hanging around their kids outside of school. I guess they assumed I was just like my mom and would steer their kids down the wrong path. So social activities, like movies, ended from age 15 on. And Frank and Ryan never went to movies. They always rented them.

The movie begins, preventing any awkward conversation around my comment. An hour into it, I find that it’s actually not that bad of a movie. It’s more of a comedy with just a little romance. Garret’s hand keeps meeting mine in the popcorn bucket which explains his insistence on getting the giant tub.

“We should do this again,” Garret says when we’re back in my room. “It could be another tradition, like the pancake place. We could go every Friday night.”

“This was fun, but you need to go out like everyone else does on Friday night. Go to parties. I don’t want you missing out on stuff because of me.”

“I’m not missing out. If I wanted to go to a party, I’d go.” He pulls on me to sit next to him on the bed. “I was planning on going to that party Ava was talking about, but then I thought about what it would actually be like when I was there and decided I’d rather be doing something with you. That’s why I came down here tonight.”

“What if I’d said no?”

That cocky grin appears as he points to himself. “Come on. Who can say no to this?”

“Goodnight, Garret.” I point to the door.

“I’m kidding! Geez, you really think I’m being serious?”

Actually I did. He is incredibly hard to say no to.

“Well, next time you want to do something, you should give me more notice. You’re just lucky I wasn’t busy tonight.” It’s such an exaggeration. I’m never busy. I have nothing to do besides homework.

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asks.

“Laundry.” It’s the truth, but as soon as I say it I realize how pathetic it sounds.

“That’s too bad because I was going to invite you up to my room for pizza and a movie marathon.”

“Hmm. I do love pizza. And movies. But are you saying you’ll be there, too? Because that kind of ruins the whole thing so—”

His nudges my side. “Okay, I guess I deserve that. So what’s your answer?”

“Yes. I think it sounds fun, even if you do insist on being there.”