Page 48

Chapter 48

Cate

I didn’t miss the look my father gave Jaden. Like they were on the same side. Traitor .

“Thank you, sir,” Jaden answered. “Please?” he asked again, indicating the chair.

I stared at him, debating whether I should stand and argue or just take the damn seat instead of stirring the pot.

He waited patiently.

“Why are you here?” I asked, staring at the roses as I eased myself onto the chair. The yellow roses, the color of daffodils in the spring, in a gorgeous crystal vase, and the heart-shaped box of chocolates made it rather obvious, but I wanted to hear him say it.

He sat in the chair closest to me, his amber eyes staring into mine .

He broke eye contact first. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at me and said, “I’m sorry I acted like an ass.” He paused, giving me a chance to respond.

His heartfelt apology deflated my anger, but didn’t erase the pain. His generic apology wasn’t enough.

“So why did you?”

“I freaked out.”

“Obviously.”

He took a deep breath. “I came earlier because I needed to see you, to talk to you.”

“You could’ve visited me in the hospital if the need was that urgent.” I’d just told Charlie I’d give him a chance, so why was I acting like a bitch?

He laughed. “I tried, but I got blocked by our fathers.”

“What?” Why would they do that? Remembering my father telling me Jay had left the hospital against medical advice so he could sit by my side, I was inclined to believe him. Though I didn’t want to believe either of our fathers would’ve conspired to keep us apart.

“You must not have tried very hard.” My pain and doubt obvious in my tone.

“Cate.” He reached over, running his knuckles down my arm and pulling my hand to the table so he could hold it. My body reacted to his touch, causing me to inhale sharply.

Traitorous body . I didn’t hold his hand back, but I didn’t pull away either.

He took another deep breath and closed his eyes. From the looks of it, he was either gathering his courage or preparing to fight. “Having to leave your side when your father arrived was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

It was? My heart raced as my professional brain studied his face, his eyes, his body language—he was telling the truth. Thank God, because my heart desperately wanted to believe him.

My hand itched to turn over and lace our fingers together as I forced my breathing to remain steady.

“But, it was the right thing to do. He needed to be there for you, and you needed him.” He paused and a small smile spread across his lips. “We both needed time with our families.” He turned introspective for a moment before saying, “Remind me to tell you about the dinner conversation I had with mine.”

I nodded. The effort needed to keep my hand from clutching his made it hard to concentrate.

“Why didn’t you come back?” I failed to keep the hurt out of my voice. What I really wanted to know was why the man who’d checked out of the hospital AMA didn’t force his way back to my side.

He rubbed small circles on the back of my hand. “I did, the next morning. But like I said, my father kept me out.”

“Why?”

“He said you needed time with yours.” He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up in a rat’s nest of soft brown curls. “It just about killed me to walk away, but he was right.”

“Did you really discharge yourself against your doctor’s advice? ”

He nodded. “They wouldn’t let me stay with you as a patient, and I didn’t want you to be alone when you woke up.”

His words weakened the wall around my heart. I turned my hand over, but didn’t lace our fingers. It was enough to bring a smile to his face. I longed to run my finger along his strong bruised jaw and tell him how disappointed I felt waking up without him there.

“I went straight to your room after getting discharged.”

That had to mean something, right? “Thank you.” How much of what I remember is real? I wanted to ask, but now didn’t feel like the time. We had more important things to discuss.

“How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”

That’s it? He’s ending the conversation? I pulled my hand away. “Is that all you came to say?” My disappointment filled the room.

“No, it’s not, but you’re wincing and I’d rather you weren’t in pain while we talk.”

“Oh.” Why was I acting so crazy?

Because I’m afraid . Afraid he’ll tell me he loves me. Afraid he won’t.

And I’m afraid that no matter what he says, it will hurt my career.

“Where are your meds?” he asked, standing up.

“On the counter.”

He made quick work of filling a glass with water and returning to the table. He read the instructions before giving me the pills. “There’s no need to suffer. ”

I took one. Before he could argue, I explained I’d taken one an hour ago.

“What about you? How bad is it?” I asked, trying to make up for being so bitchy.

“Well, I didn’t get shot, so I have that going for me.” He laughed. “A few cracked ribs are the worst of it. The cuts and bruises are already healing.”

“Lucky you.”

“If I could go back and change it, I’d take that bullet for you.” My eyes shot up to his. “And I always will.”

“Don’t you dare.” I didn’t want or need him sacrificing himself to save me.

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity before asking, “Would you do the same for me?”

I answered without thinking, “Yes.” What kind of stupid question was that?

“So you can take a bullet for me, but I can’t take one for you? That hardly seems fair.” His teasing grin diffused the tension.

“How about neither of us gets shot?” I bargained.

“I’m on board with that. Getting shot sucks.”

I made a mental note to ask later if he knew from experience.

“Yes, it does.” My muscles slowly relaxed as the extra medication kicked in.

Jay put his hand on the table, palm up. This time, I accepted his invitation without hesitation.

“I’m so sorry, Cate. I came here today to tell you how I feel. To beg you not to leave. Instead, I freaked out because I thought you’d already left.” He paused. “I didn’t handle it well.”

Charlie was right. “I noticed. Did you really think I’d leave without saying goodbye?”

“No. Yes.” He ran his hand through his hair again. “Christ, I don’t know. I tried calling, but you didn’t answer.” His eyes shifted to my phone. “When I got here and couldn’t see your car, well, it scared me.”

“And instead of asking me about it, you decided to act like an idiot?” I half teased.

Instead of answering, he laughed and pulled the card out of the roses.

The card said, I’m an idiot , in elegant cursive. He didn’t write it. Somehow it meant more knowing he’d said them out loud to a total stranger.

I smiled and met his gaze.

“Love will make a man do that,” he said. No hesitation. No wavering. Just dropped the damn love bomb on me while holding my hand and staring in my eyes.

I swallowed hard and forced myself to blink. It was my turn. Not to say I love you, I couldn’t lead with that, but to admit my fear and to apologize.

“You know, I thought I heard you when I was in the hospital, but I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. You promised to be there, but when I woke up, you weren’t.” I sucked in a deep breath, grateful the pain pills worked. I whispered, “I thought I’d imagined it all.”

I’m sorry, was all he said .

“It’s okay, I understand why now.” I paused and looked down the short hall to my bedroom door. “I’m glad my father was there. We needed the time.”

He nodded; we both had family issues in need of healing.

“When you didn’t come visit, it hurt. I convinced myself it was for the best.”

He squeezed my hand and apologized.

“I wasn’t leaving. I promise.”

He nodded. “But you are going to DC?”

“Yes. Maybe.” Probably not, if this conversation continued to go well. “But not today.”

He squeezed my hand. “Good.”

“I wouldn’t have left without talking to you. That’s why I went to the store. I needed a phone so I could call you and make sure you were okay, and…”

Following his example, I took a steadying breath.

“To tell you how I feel. To find out if you felt the same.” I chuckled before saying, “But you showed up here and pissed me off before I could.”

“Sorry.” His laugh negated his apology.

“Why do you always have to piss me off?” I asked without venom.

“I don’t do it on purpose,” he said. “Well, not always.” He emphasized the word, always, and followed up with a wink and a grin.

It was my turn to laugh.

“Do you think we would’ve killed each other if we hadn’t fallen in love in the cage?” I asked. Letting him know I loved him in the same indirect way he’d told me .

He squeezed my hand before bringing it to his lips and kissing it. “Absolutely.”

His smile melted my insides.

“Just remember, I told you first,” he said.

I’d never seen his playful side, but I loved it. “I was unconscious, so it doesn’t count.”

I love all of him . The good, the bad, the scarred, and the sexy.

“So you heard me?” he asked, lifting one eyebrow.

“I did, although I thought it was my imagination,” I admitted.

Before I could say it first, he said, “I love you, Catelyn Maxwell.”

“I love you, Jaden Sheppard.”

He stood and leaned over the table to kiss me. I held my breath as I waited, desperate to feel his lips on mine.

Just before he made contact, he pulled back a little.

I opened my eyes to see him looking at me, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

“You’re not going to slap me again, are you?”

I reached forward, grabbed the collar of his tee, and pulled him in. “Shut up and kiss me.”

He answered with his lips. Unfortunately, neither of us was gentle and we both ended up wincing in pain.

We pulled back, looked each other in the eye, and busted out laughing.

“Maybe we hold off for another day or two,” he suggested.

I didn’t like that idea, not one bit, but he was right. We couldn’t enjoy the kiss if it hurt .

I could only imagine what Jay’s kiss would be like, knowing it had curled my toes when I hadn’t wanted it.

“You’re blushing.” He brushed his knuckles down my lesser-bruised cheek. “Want to tell me what’s going through that brilliant mind of yours?”

I didn’t need to, his grin told me he knew full well what I was thinking.

“No.” I pulled him in for another kiss. “One more.” We settled for a soft kiss; one that felt like a promise of more.