Page 46

Chapter 46

Cate

H ow dare he show up and hurl accusations at me? And in front of my father. I’d planned on calling him as soon as I set up my new phone, but no, he had to storm in here with his smoldering eyes and broad shoulders and shitty attitude.

Did he really think so little of me?

Because I wanted to be alert when I went shopping, I decided to wait and take my pain pills when we got home. Which meant everything hurt, and tensing my muscles in frustration only made it worse. I should’ve listened to my father.

When I saw Jay in the parking lot, my heart sped up. My mind raced with all the things I’d been forced to wait three days to tell him, to ask him.

More than anything, I wanted him to hold me and tell me he was okay. That I was okay. That we’d be okay.

But no. He had to be an ass and piss me off. I threw my bag on the table .

I expected my father to follow me inside, but he was still outside talking to Jaden.

What the hell are they talking about? Was Jaden arguing with my dad? I almost laughed at that—no one argued with my father.

I didn’t love the idea of him fighting my battles, but I half hoped he was. Jaden deserved to be dressed down in a way only a starred general could.

I imagined Jaden standing at attention while my father delivered a tongue lashing to end all tongue lashings.

Maybe he’s telling Jaden to take a long walk off a short pier.

It was harsh, but I was so pissed steam was probably pouring out of my ears.

I grabbed my pain pills off the counter, swore when I dropped the bottle on the floor, and cried out in pain and frustration when I squatted to pick it up.

By the time I opened the bottle and poured myself a glass of water, I was red faced, panting, and even more angry.

Not wanting to feel loopy, I only took one. I could take the second after talking to my father and setting up my phone.

How long does it take to tell someone to fuck off?

I sat at the table and killed time by opening my phone. Which took longer than usual because my right arm was in a sling. Downloading the data from the cloud would take thirty minutes or so.

What is hell is taking him so long? I drummed my fingers on the table.

When I heard the door close, I stood and asked, “What did you say to him? ”

“I told him he needed to calm down.”

“Is that all? Because you were out there an awfully long time.”

“Did you take your pain pills?” He changed the subject.

“I did. Don’t avoid the question.”

His eyebrows lifted at my raised voice.

“Sorry. He pissed me off.”

“I can see that. Which part pissed you off the most?” he asked as he sat across the table.

Good question. Was it that he didn’t care enough to ask how I was doing? Was it because he didn’t trust me and accused me of leaving without saying goodbye? Was it because he didn’t meet my expectations?

Or is it because it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I feel for him?

Jaden’s attitude today reminded me of all the reasons I shouldn’t get involved with a colleague. What we shared in the cage was probably nothing more than bonding during a shared traumatic incident. It wasn’t real.

Thank God I didn’t have a chance to spill my guts and make a fool of myself. I had hoped we could work together better, now that we’d gotten to know each other, but after his performance in the parking lot, that hope was fading.

I looked at my dad who waited for my answer with the patience of a saint.

“After everything that happened, I’d hoped we could at least be friends.” Facing the truth hurt more than my cracked ribs. “Obviously I was wrong. ”

It was probably for the best. Before Jaden became my office mate, I’d been the consummate professional; working hard and never letting my emotions get the better of me.

“Catelyn,” my father paused and waited for my to bring my attention back to him, “It’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I’d like to offer some free advice.”

I tried changing the subject. “You know what they say about free advice?”

“It’s worth what you pay for it,” he answered. We both chuckled. He continued, “Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.”

My judgment was fine, it was my emotions that got me into this mess. If I hadn’t let myself fall for him, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

“I learned that lesson the hard way, and I won’t repeat my mistake.” I didn’t like learning things the hard way, so when I did, the lesson stuck. No one needed to know I fell for Jay.

I told myself I could compartmentalize with the best of them and show up every day and do my job.

But will I be happy?

The sad look on my father’s face seemed out of place. I’d expected him to be proud I’d learned my lesson and happy I wouldn’t repeat it.

Before I could ask, my phone came back to life. Alerts buzzed as all the messages I’d missed screamed for attention.

“Sorry,” I said, getting up to turn the sound off. The pain meds were kicking in, taking the edge off, so moving was easier.

“No need to apologize.”

I nodded as I scanned the messages. Charlie had called and texted. A lot. I opened the text app and scanned her texts, each one more frantic than the last.

“I’m sorry, Dad, I need to call Charlie.”

“Go.”

I hit the call button as I walked to my bedroom.

“Cate, are you okay? I’ve been worried sick.” Her voice was two octaves higher than normal.

“I, uh, there was an issue at work.”

“I know. I called SSI after three days of radio silence.”

“What?” I eased myself onto my bed and reclined against my decorative pillows.

“Don’t sound so shocked. If my best friend goes missing, I start making calls.”

Of course she did. Like me, Charlie wasn’t a sit at home and twiddle-her-thumbs-nervously kind of girl.

We weren’t just Marines, we were warriors, which meant we took action and got shit done.

“How much do you know?” I trusted Charlie with my life, but wouldn’t share more than was necessary. No one needed to hear the ugly details.

“That you and Jaden went missing on assignment. Hold on.” Footsteps sounded in the background, followed by a door closing. “Sorry, I needed to close my door.”

“I can call back if you’re busy.”

“Hell no. This is more important. Jamie texted me after they found you. He said you were in the hospital and your dad was on his way. Asshole wouldn’t tell me anything else. ”

I laughed at that. Of all the Sheppards, Jamie was the least deserving of being called an asshole.

“He was just protecting my privacy.” And following the law.

“I know, but I was scared to death.”

“I’m sorry. I’m fine. I promise.” At least I will be in a few weeks . “I would’ve called sooner, but my phone got torched to a crisp and I just now got my new one activated.” I ignored the fact that I could’ve emailed because in all the chaos, I didn’t think of it.

“Torched?”

“It’s a long story for another time. When we can share a bottle.” I told her we’d splurge on a bottle of our favorite high-end wine and I’d tell her what happened and she could tell me about all the ways her future husband drove her crazy while confessing to being madly in love with him.

“How are you really?”

Talking about the physical pain was easier, so I said, “GSW to the right shoulder.” I ignored her gasp and continued, “Clean through, a few cracked ribs, and some cuts and bruises on my face.”

“Jesus, Cate. What the hell happened?”

“Another time, okay?” I reminded her I wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“Yeah, okay. You sure you’re alright? Do I need to come kick some ass?”

Laughing made my sides hurt. “No, the team did it for you.”

“Are they all dead? ”

“You know, I don’t actually know.” I hadn’t thought to ask.

We talked for a few more minutes before she brought up Jaden.

“He’s fine.” I snapped, my pain and frustration resurfacing.

“Care to try that again?” She called me out on my bullshit.

“No.” The pain was too fresh.

“Not good enough, Maxwell. Something happened, and it’s eating at you.”

I told her about Jay’s behavior in the cage, leaving out how I felt, thought I felt, about him.

“You fell for him.” Sometimes I hated how easily she could read me.

“No. I didn’t.” I lied to her just like I’d been lying to myself. “It’s normal for two people to bond during a traumatic event.”

“Cate, I love you, but you’re an idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

“Has it ever occurred to you that Jaden gets under your skin so easily because you’re drawn to him?”

It had, but not until after we’d had to rely on each other to survive.

“No. He drives me crazy.”

“I know he does, that’s my point. In all your time working with Gavin, you never talked about him like you do about Jaden. There’s a fuck ton of passion between you two, but you’re both too stubborn to see it for what it really is.”

She had a point, but Jay didn’t feel the same. You don’t treat the people you love the way he treated me .

“You said he was pissed you left without saying goodbye. Think about it; maybe he’s scared of losing you.”

One perfectly timed question was all it took for me to ask, what if?

“Maybe.” But was it worth the risk? Not only to my heart, but to my career? I couldn’t afford to lose another job because of interpersonal conflict. “But-”

“No buts, Cate. Talk to him. You owe him that much.”

I sighed. She was right. But he owed me, too.