Page 34

Chapter 34

Jay

D ad rode with me in the ambulance, leaving Jamie behind to finish with the local law enforcement.

As the paramedics rolled my gurney outside, I noticed the sun hadn’t set yet; it’s still Saturday. We’d been held hostage for three days.

I’d regained a tiny bit of control over my limbs, including my tongue, by the time we arrived at the Fort Worth Hospital. Not that I could move or talk easily. And since it hurt like hell to do either; I did neither.

As my adrenaline wore off, the pain worsened, making it hurt to breath.

When I tried to convince the nurse I didn’t need an X-ray, she said, “Doctor’s orders.”

Apparently, the bruising on my mid-section made him think I might have a broken rib or two .

Might? I could tell from the pain, I did. But they’d heal in time, with little to no medical intervention.

Not like Cate. She needed a lot of help.

Please be okay . I prayed.

“You scared the shit out of us,” Dad admitted when we were finally alone.

It hurt, but I turned towards him. “Cate?” I croaked out, sounding like a carton a day smoker on a week long drinking binge.

“She’s in surgery.”

“How bad?” Being eloquent or wordy wasn’t an option.

He held my look for a heartbeat, then another, before answering.

“It was a through and through, but the bullet may have nicked her right lung.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Forcing myself to ignore the pain, I asked, “When know if-”

Anticipating what I was trying to ask, he cut me off, “The doctor will let us know as soon as she’s out of surgery.”

The nurse arrived, preventing further discussion. Dad asked her if she could give me anything for the pain.

“Not yet.” She stepped up to the side of the bed and addressed me. “We can’t give you anything until we know what was in the syringe.” I nodded, wanting to wait until Cate was out of surgery anyway. “We’re working as fast as we can.”

I nodded again.

“Can you lift your arm for me?” she asked .

Gritting my teeth, I lifted my right arm. Sweat broke out on my brow. My arm only made it about six inches before falling back to the bed.

“More than last time,” she said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“That’s my cue to leave,” Dad said as he stood. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

I nodded.

I was beat up, had three cracked ribs, and was dehydrated—nothing that couldn’t be cured with an IV and some downtime. When I used that as my argument against being admitted, the doctor ignored me. Turns out three days without food and very little water gives civilian doctors cause for concern. My father sided with the doctor, so I resigned myself to my fate.

At least I’m close to Cate .

A half an hour later, they brought me to a room. Thankfully, no one occupied the second bed.

When my father noticed me squinting, he turned down the lights. When I shivered, he added an extra blanket. Sensing I wasn’t in the mood to talk, he offered quiet support.

I need to see Cate . The thought was on repeat in my head, and would be until I knew she’d be okay.

Before long, even the steady pain wasn’t enough to keep me from dozing off.

I awoke to my brothers whispering with my dad.

“Cate?” My tongue was nearly back to normal, and even though talking was still tough, I at least sounded mostly human .

“She’s still in surgery,” Jamie said. He looked me up and down, a pained expression on his face.

I waited until he finished looking me over before answering. “Thanks.”

He cleared his throat and nodded.

“You scared the fuck out of us,” Jack said, sounding like he was choking back tears.

Not knowing what else to say, I defaulted to, “Sorry.”

“You okay?” Jamie asked.

When I said yes, he was the first one to hug me. “We thought we’d lost you,” Jamie said as he crushed me in a bear hug. When I grunted, he released his hold. I went through the same thing with Jack.

“I’m still here.” Wanting to sit up, I reached for the bed’s control. My muscles still lacked coordination, so Dad helped me. When I reached for the cup, he helped me with that, too. The water soothed my strained throat but the fact that he had to hold the cup for me bruised my ego.

Forcing the embarrassment from my mind, I thanked him after pushing the straw away.

“You sound better,” Dad said. He looked at the door before asking, “Do you want to fill us in on what happened before your mother gets here?”

When I paused, he said, “You don’t have to.” He searched my face for clues. “And if you want to talk about anything else, I’m here. No judgment.”

“Thanks,” I answered. I figured I could fill in a few details. “You obviously know about Wendy.” He nodded. Using brief, broken sentences I explained how we got caught, what happened to my truck, and then apologized for fucking up.

“Did he… did you just apologize for getting kidnapped?” Jack asked.

“Shoulda seen it coming,” I mumbled.

“No, Son, you shouldn’t have,” Dad said.

“I saw the basement,” Jamie said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Yeah.” I told them about the cage, leaving out the personal details but emphasizing how strong Cate was.

My father tried not to show it, but he was pissed. His neutral facial expression was a mask, but his clenched jaw gave him away. My brothers didn’t hide their emotions, letting their anger come out in huffs and puffs when I summed up the last session in the office.

I’d always felt like I didn’t belong, the expendable Sheppard , but I could see how hard it’d been for them when they thought I might be dead.

I’m an idiot. Instead of building my relationship with my brothers, I pushed them away.

“I’m okay. Worse for Cate.”

And I didn’t just mean the gunshot. Cate was as tough as they come, but she didn’t have the extensive training or experience I had, and they’d treated her far worse.

“Cate, huh?” Jack asked, smiling for the first time.

Somewhere, during our time in hell, we’d become Cate and Jay instead of Maxwell and Sheppard .

I need to see her. The only thing that mattered was making sure she was okay. Something I wouldn’t believe until I saw her with my own two eyes.

“Is she-”

“I’ll check with the doctor,” Dad said, before standing and leaving.

“What happened between you and Maxwell?” Jamie asked.

I leaned back against the soft pillows and closed my eyes, hoping to avoid the conversation I didn’t want to have. Not here. Not now.

Not without talking to Cate first .

“Jay?”

“What?” I barked without bothering to open my eyes.

“Don’t bite my head off. If you don’t want to talk about it, just say so.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I sounded madder than I felt.

“Then I’ll wait until you’re ready,” Jamie said. Jack stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his stare boring into my soul like he could see everything I felt.

“Thanks.” I’d expected them to hound me, and was grateful they hadn’t.

I lifted my head and opened my eyes when the door opened.

“Maxwell’s in recovery. Doc says the bullet missed her lung.”

A collective sigh of relief filled the room. Mine rattled my ribs, while tears of gratitude filled my eyes.

“The doctor expects her to make a full recovery, but it’ll take time. ”

“Thank God.” I could live with that. “When can I see her?”

“He’ll let us know when she’s cleared for visitors.”

It wouldn’t be soon enough for me. “Thank you.”

While we waited, Dad fussed over me, not the same way Ma would when she got here, but in his own way.

“Ma will be here in thirty,” Jamie said. “She was scared silly about you.”

“And you weren’t?” Jack asked.

“I was scared stupid,” Jamie admitted, giving me a grin.

“I didn’t realize there was a difference.” Jack laughed. “My bad.”

“Of course there is,” Jamie fired back. “How scared were you?”

“In keeping with the alliteration, shitless,” Jack answered.

For the first time in four days I laughed. It felt wrong, given the circumstances, but it was exactly what I needed.

Only it hurt.

“You told Ma I’m okay, right?” I asked.

“Yes, but you know how she is. She won’t believe me until she sees you,” Dad answered.

“That won’t help convince her,” I said with a half laugh. One look at my face, and she’d freak out. I didn’t need a mirror to know I looked like I was used as a human punching bag. Because I had been . I could feel the cuts and bruises, and would bet there wasn’t more than an inch on my face that wasn’t black and blue, or scabbed over.

“Probably not,” Jack agreed.

I must have dozed off, because I awoke to my heart punching against my ribs as visions of Cate slumping forward, blood spilling from her body, ran through my mind.

I almost lost her.

“Jay, are you alright?” Dad asked, as my brothers stepped closer to my bed.

“Yeah,” I paused, “I am.” At least I think I am .

”Your heart is racing and you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Jamie said, shifting his focus to my EKG monitor.

I gave a shaky laugh, “I’m fine.” I had just enough time to take a few steadying breaths before someone knocked.

When I nodded, Jamie let them in.

My mom rushed to my side and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

When I grunted, she apologized.

She pulled back and wiped tears from her bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry.” She held my face in her hands. “I’m just so grateful you’re alive.”

“What made you think I wouldn’t be?”

“You were gone for four days, and your truck was burned to a crisp.”

I groaned. My truck. Not that it mattered much in the moment.

“As you can see, I’m fine.” Thank God, I can talk again. “Don’t let the cuts and bruises scare you.”

Ma sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand. Poor Ma. She hadn’t had a break since high school, when she fell in love with my dad, a Marine. He hadn’t chosen safe careers; the Marines, law enforcement, PI, and neither had their kids. As a corpsman in the Navy, Madi’s career was the safest, but it wasn’t without risks.

I couldn’t imagine how hard it’d be, sitting at home, waiting helplessly, when someone you loved was in danger.

Yes I could. It was how I’d felt waiting to hear if Cate had made it out of surgery. I squeezed my mom’s hand. “I’m okay. I promise.”

Everyone seemed to know I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, so the room was quiet except for the beeping of my machines.

When Dad left to check on Cate, I didn’t let him fully reenter the room before asking, “How is she? Can I see her?”

“She’s doing well. The nurses are moving her to her room shortly.”

The breath I’d been holding rushed out. She’ll be okay.

“When can I see her?” I asked.

“Maybe tomorrow.”

That wasn’t good enough. I needed to see her. I sat up, ignoring the protest from my ribs.

“Jay, you shouldn’t get out of bed,” my mom said, gently pushing me back against the pillows.

I didn’t care if she was awake or not. I couldn’t relax until I verified she was okay. “I need to see Cate.” I barked.

“Jaden.” My father corrected my behavior with nothing more than my name.

I apologized for being rude to my mother, “Sorry, Ma, but I need to see her.” Desperation filled my voice.

“You can’t see her in a hospital gown that barely closes, and the clothes you had on when we found you are, to be perfectly blunt, offensive,” Jack said, half joking to lighten the mood.

He’s right. There was no way in hell I could put on what I’d been wearing. The clothes I’d worn for four days stank of blood, sweat, pain, and fear. The only thing I’d be doing was burning them.

“Do either of you have any extra clothes?” I asked. I was taller than Jamie and broader than both, so their clothes wouldn’t fit well, but I was too desperate to care.

My father shared a look with Jamie before saying, “Jamie will bring clothes when he comes back tomorrow.”

A knock on the door prevented me from arguing.

“Dinner,” the nurse said, carrying in a tray.

My stomach growled at the mention of food. “You know you’re hungry when hospital food sounds good,” I said.

“You say that,” the nurse joked, “but the doctor has you on a bland diet for your first few meals.” He set up the table over my bed.

“Dude, that sucks,” Jack said, grinning.

“Not helping, asshole,” I said, causing the nurse to laugh.

“Boys.” Dad corrected us.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, John. Just let them swear.” She sounded exhausted. “It’s not like I haven’t heard it before.” She pointed at Jack before turning to me. “But don’t get used to it.”

“Yes, Ma,” we answered together. I shouldn’t have looked at Jack, but I did. He made a stupid face, making me laugh. Not wanting to upset my mother, I tried holding in my laughter, which made me cough. Reminding me of the abuse my ribs had suffered.

I groaned as I looked at the small chicken breast and side of mashed potatoes. “Thanks.”

“Sorry, man, doctor’s orders.”

I read his name tag so I could appeal to him, dude to dude.

“Paul, could you do me a solid and at least get me some more salt and pepper?” I practically begged.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He laughed as he left the room.

“Thanks, man.”

As soon as he was out the door, I turned to Jack, interrupting his text conversation. “Any chance you can get me a steak?”

He chuckled, “On it.” A few seconds later he said, “AJ said he’ll run to the cafeteria.” I don’t think I’d ever loved my brother more than I did in that moment.

“You’re the best,” I said.

“Just don’t tell Jamie,” Jack fake-whispered.

“I’m the one bringing your clothes.” Jamie reminded me.

“Steak trumps clothes,” I teased.

He didn’t miss a beat. “Unless I forget them.”

Ma cut our banter short. “Do you think it’s a good idea? There’s a reason the doctor ordered this food for you.”

Her fear was unfounded. Just because I hadn’t had a real meal in four days didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy a nice, juicy, tender steak.

“Mary, let the boy eat,” Dad said.

Thanks, Dad .

“I’m starving, not sick.” I comforted her as I tore the top off the green jello, and sucked the sweet, jiggly glob out of the plastic cup.

My brothers laughed and Dad pretended he didn’t see it while Mom reminded me she’d raised me better.

When Paul returned with more salt and pepper, I thanked him and sent him on his way. “Anyone want some bland as fu- some bland chicken?” I asked, shoving a spoonful of the potatoes in my mouth.

Even Ma said no. Ten minutes later AJ snuck in with my steak.

“You’re a life saver,” I said as I opened the to-go container—the rich scent of beef invaded my nose, making me drool. “Now that smells like food.”

I cut the steak into tiny bites and forced myself to eat slowly, savoring every bite.

I should take Cate out for steak when this was over. If she’ll let me.

After eating half my steak, and most of the toppings off the loaded baked potato he’d gotten as a side, I dozed off. Much to my irritation I was told I couldn’t see Cate when I woke up.

Visiting hours were over. A fickle rule, since my visitors were still here.

“I checked on her while you were sleeping. She’s stable,” Dad assured me. “You can see her in the morning.”

I huffed and dropped back to my pillow.