Page 2

Chapter 2

Jay

T hey didn’t call me Taz for nothing. The military was all about nicknames, and mine was Shep until Ranger School when an instructor referred to me as the Tasmanian Devil. I was a tornado, attacking every task and challenge with a whirling fury. He’d warned me to be careful, saying I’d burn out if I didn’t slow down.

He had no way of knowing I’d always been like that; driven by the need to prove myself, to prove my worth.

Rather than burning out, I thrived. The constant challenge was exactly what I needed, because, for me, boredom was the enemy.

I called out, “Next!” after beating Maxwell in what had to be record time. It felt good to knock her down a peg or two. She walked around like a fucking know-it-all, and I was sick of it. She’d been at SSI, my family’s business, a couple months longer than me but kept herself separate, like she was too good for us.

Because of her FBI experience she didn’t have to mentor for a year before becoming a licensed private investigator, like I did. And she had a fucking Master’s degree, while I only had an Associate’s.

And don’t even get me started on knowing I’d have to salute her overly organized, never late, nary a fiery red hair out of place, uptight ass at Marine functions. Not that I planned on attending any. Reunion with the team guys? Maybe. As long as Henderson wasn’t there, because if we were ever in the same room again, one of us would die.

When no one volunteered to challenge me, Dad had them face me in order of seniority. Poor Jamie never stood a chance. Jack didn’t do much better. Then I faced off against AJ. Fucker was big and might have been a real challenge but he’d recently fallen in love and was losing his edge. I wondered if he’d get it back once the honeymoon phase was over.

If Blake ever fucked AJ over, and the only thing keeping him warm at night was the hatred burning through his veins, he’d probably be able to kick my ass. That’d be a fun day. Not that I wanted Blake to hurt AJ, I didn’t. But going head-to-head against a pissed off AJ was a challenge I wanted.

Doug on the other hand, was calm as fuck and hard to predict, which only fueled my fire. If I hadn’t gone bat shit crazy on his ass, I might have lost.

“Jay, you good?” Jamie asked as we filed into the locker room .

“Yeah, why?”

“Because we don’t usually try to kill each other on the mat,” Jack answered for him. My brothers were close in age and had always been friends. But not me. I was several years younger. The black sheep. The mistake. The one they never invited to play in their reindeer games.

Maybe working here is a mistake .

“Just wanted to win, that’s all.” I shrugged it off, knowing I’d been more aggressive than necessary.

“That you did. But be warned, I’ll be ready for you next time,” AJ said as he rubbed the bruise forming on his arm.

“You got anything to add?” I asked Doug.

“Jaden,” my father said,his tone reminding me of when I got in trouble as a kid. “Get cleaned up, I want to see you in my office.” He didn’t wait for an answer before leaving the small locker room.

“Man, I hate that tone,” Jack whispered.

I’m definitely in trouble.

“Only because you have to hear it so often,” Jamie said with a laugh. Jamie was the oldest son and perfect in every way.

It surprised me to hear that. Jack wasn’t a perfect rule follower like Jamie, but he’d never gotten into much trouble.

Not like me, I was the problem child. And we all know it.

“Not as often as Jay,” Jack said, proving my point.

“Whatever, not everyone wants to be perfect and boring.” They didn’t see me roll my eyes as I stripped down for a shower .

“He must be talking about you,” Jack teased Jamie as I stepped into the steaming spray. “I’m definitely not boring.” I shut them out as the hot water washed over my tense muscles.

After dressing, I headed to my father’s office. At the door, I said, “You wanted to see me, sir.” I didn’t have to use sir with him, and given his tone earlier I probably shouldn’t have, but I was in the mood to play with fire.

“Have a seat.” He pointed to a chair in front of his big wooden desk.

I brushed my wet hair off my face and dropped into the chair. “What’s up?”

He raised his left eyebrow without a word. Then he shook his head and chuckled. Which scared me more than the silent eyebrow.

“Since this is your first time attending a training session, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.”

“For what?”

“For not realizing we don’t go full-out on the mat. It’s meant to be challenging, not a death match.”

“I didn’t hurt anyone.” Defending my actions felt as shitty at twenty-five as it had at fifteen.

“No, you didn’t but your anger was palpable.”

He gave me a chance to deny it, but what was the point?

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, leaning back in a relaxed position.

I didn’t. “About what?”

“Jay, your mother and I are worried about you.” I forced my eyes not to roll, a bad habit I’d broken in the Marines, but had picked back up after coming home. “You’ve had an attitude since you came home. Does it have anything to do with your canceled backpacking trip?”

He’d nailed it. “No.” Yes . “I’m fine.” Talking to my father about what happened was the last thing I wanted to do. I doubted it’d change his opinion of me; I was the family screw up. And, despite the promise I’d made to myself before coming home, I was still playing the part.

“Okay. My door is always open if you want to talk.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said as I stood. “Anything else?” I asked as I turned to the door.

“You coming to dinner Sunday night?” Ma was so excited three of her four cubs were home, she started hosting weekly family dinners. I didn’t mind, in fact I preferred it over meals with just Jamie and his fiancée, Emily. They were too sweet for my bitter heart to handle for prolonged periods.

Not that I wasn’t happy Jamie had found someone to share his life with again. I was. But witnessing it felt like salt being poured on my wounds.

“Yeah, I’ll call Ma and let her know.”

“Good. Go home and get some rest.”

I nodded and walked out.

“Jay, you want to come over for dinner tonight?” Meg asked when I walked by her desk. She and Jack were as bad as Jamie and Emily when it came to open displays of affection—worse now that they were expecting their first child in December—and I couldn’t handle it.

Ma desperately wanted grandchildren, and they’d be the first to give her one .

It would have been Jamie and Isabelle, his first wife, if she hadn’t been killed. Her murder was the reason Jamie and Dad left the police force and started SSI. They invited Jack and me to join as silent partners while we finished our time in the military.

Jack said yes. I said no.

At the time, I’d still planned on becoming a fireman when I left the Marines.

But over the last five years, I’d watched too many buildings burn and seen too many innocent people die in the flames. Fearing I couldn’t handle fighting a fire without tossing my cookies, or worse, freaking out and endangering others, killed my career before it began.

So, I joined the family business.

In some ways, it wasn’t a hard decision because I’d always wanted to serve my community after serving my country. Becoming a fireman was supposed to be my way of being true to myself without inviting direct comparison to my law enforcement family.

Which makes me a fool for joining the family business where I get compared to them every fucking day, just like when we were kids.

Unable to say no to Meg, I forced a smile and said, “Sure, can I bring anything?”

“Just your charming self,” Jack answered from behind me with a clap on the shoulder.

“You’re just jealous.” I said. Of what I couldn’t imagine; he had a great life.

“You keep telling yourself that. ”

“Be nice you two,” Meg scolded us, practicing her mom voice. I had to admit, she was pretty good at it. “You don’t need to bring anything. Dinner’s at seven.”

“Okay, thanks. See you then.” That gave me just enough time to pick up a six-pack so I didn’t show up empty handed. Ma taught us better than that.

Maxwell was straightening up her desk when I walked in to grab my laptop and gear. “You know the world won’t come to an end if the edges aren’t lined up, right?”

Her piercing blue eyes bore holes in my skull. Her cheeks turned a vibrant shade of pink causing her scant freckles to stand out. Her teeth clenched.

God, it’s fun to mess with her. I shouldn’t have watched her ample chest rise as she breathed in slowly through her nose to calm herself down before responding, but I did. There was nothing I wanted to see more than Catelyn Maxwell losing control.

Something told me it’d be magnificent. It’d probably rock my world . I shook my head to clear out the thoughts.

“Why does it bother you?” she asked, her tone cold enough to freeze the bottle of water on her desk.

“It doesn’t,” I lied. My desk would never be called neat or tidy but it wasn’t trashed either. I preferred to think of it as organized chaos, and it worked for me. It only looked messy because it was in the same room as hers.

“Then shut up,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am.” I saluted before draining the water on my desk. After tossing my laptop in my backpack, I walked out without another word .

Remembering the frustration in her eyes when I pinned her to the mat, and ignoring how good she felt under me, I grinned. Maxwell was brilliant, and if I was being honest with myself, gorgeous. There was no way I’d ever measure up to her, except on the mat.

I’m an ass. I chided myself for gloating about beating a woman six inches shorter and at least sixty pounds lighter.