Page 42

Chapter 42

Cate

“ D ad, can you please stop fussing over me?” The doctor released me, after much begging on my part, after I woke up from my nap. Sammie, one of the part-time employees at SSI and a Weatherford cop, had dropped us off at my apartment less than thirty minutes ago and I was already doubting if I could handle having my father around twenty-four-seven for the next four and half days.

He’d done a one-eighty after our talk and was trying to make up for twenty plus years of ‘neglect’. His word, not mine. I loved him for trying, but having him cater to my every whim felt weird.

“I’m going overboard, aren’t I?”

“A little. Though I appreciate your effort.”

“I wasn’t always there for you. My priorities were in the wrong place and it took almost losing you to make me realize it. I want to be more present in your life. ”

His confession brought tears to my eyes. Without thinking I wiped at them, making myself wince. Damn bruises .

“Thanks, Dad.” I wrapped my good arm around him for a hug, only grunting a little at the pressure my slinged arm put on my battered and bruised torso. Getting shot and having several ribs cracked sucked. The bullet had entered high on the right side of my chest, angled down, and exited my back—narrowly missing my lung.

“I love you, too.” He hadn’t actually said the words, but I read between the lines.

He pulled away. “Can I make you some dinner?”

“Sure. That sounds great.” Remembering I hadn’t been home in a week, I said, “On second thought, maybe we should order out.” Any food in my refrigerator had to be bad by now. “I’ll clean the fridge out after we eat.” Or maybe after a post dinner nap.

“What do you want? And don’t say steak. The doctor recommended lighter meals for the first few days.”

I sighed. “Fine. There’s a good Thai place that delivers. I’ll have Pad Thai with chicken.” It would be flavorful and filling without being too heavy, plus the leftovers would be just as good when I warmed them up.

“Egg roll?” he asked.

“Sure.”

While we ate, dad asked me about SSI, wanting to know if I liked it and found it fulfilling.

“I love it. I thought I’d miss the FBI and the big city, but I don’t. And I’m helping people.” Not Wendy . But she was dead before her father hired us, so nothing we did would’ve changed that outcome. I shook off the wave of guilt. “Turns out I like the small town vibe.”

“That’s good to hear. John sings your praises.” He paused. “He seems like a good man, and he genuinely cares about you.”

Damn meds, making me emotional . I blinked back the extra moisture in my eyes.

“He’s a great leader.” In my father’s eyes, it was one of the highest compliments I could give.

“I sensed that. And the rest of the team?”

Now that he knew about Gavin and his bullshit, I sensed his question was multi-layered.

“Their good men. Honest, reliable, and I trust them.”

“Did you trust Gavin?”

I took my time answering. “Yes, and no. I trusted him to have my back and do his job. I let it cloud my judgment when we started dating and ignored the red flags.” Red flags I’d been watching for and hadn’t seen at SSI.

“Any red flags at SSI?”

I smiled. “No. I went in looking for them, expecting them.” Hell, I even tried creating one or two. “But they aren’t there.”

“And Jaden?”

“What about him?”

He raised his eyebrow. “You called his name more than once while you were out.” He said it so casually I did a double take.

“Did I?” I tried to play it off like my heart wasn’t racing like a thoroughbred. Like I hadn’t asked about him repeatedly while I was awake. I’d tried to act casual, but it was obvious he wasn’t buying it.

“You did. And John said Jaden discharged himself against medical advice so he could sit at your side.”

“He what?” I almost choked on the water I’d been sipping. He was there. I hadn’t imagined hearing his voice. So why didn’t he come see me after I woke up?

“Cate? Are you okay?”

I was, but a million things raced through my mind. Deep breaths . I reminded myself I could control my racing thoughts by focusing on my breath.

“I’m fine. Just surprised, that’s all.”

He didn’t believe me, but at least he had the decency to wait until I was calm again before asking me if I had a thing for Jay.

When I babbled through my no, and my excuses, he asked, “Care to tell me the truth?”

Memories of being scolded for lying about not doing my homework flashed through my mind. I’d always hated that feeling, which explained how I’d become an uptight overachiever.

I didn’t want to admit I might have fallen for Jay in the cage. Or tell him I wasn’t sure how much of what I remembered was true versus wishful thinking. Or admit how much it hurt that Jay hadn’t come back to see me.

I pretended to misunderstand him. “I’m fine, Dad.”

He leaned forward and asked, “Are you in love with him?”

My eyes shot open like a fucking cartoon at his directness, but at least my jaw didn’t hit the floor .

“What makes you say that?” I croaked out. He’ll never believe me if I keep sounding like I don’t believe me.

“You’re not as good at hiding your emotions as you think you are.”

“It doesn’t matter. If he cared, he would’ve come back to see me.” It was the closest I’d come to admitting it.

“A man doesn’t sign himself out AMA if he doesn’t care.”

“We went through hell together. He probably just wanted to make sure I was okay before leaving.” Now that I knew what happened with Sara and Henderson, I doubted Jay would be eager to rush into a relationship. I didn’t expect him to go back to hating me, but I didn’t expect us to be more than friends either.

“Do you really believe that?”

When I put my head on the table, I had to sit back up because bending over hurt like hell. After regaining my composure, I admitted, “I’m not sure what I believe.”

Too many conflicting thoughts. Too many conflicting emotions. Too many painkillers preventing me from sorting through them all.

I explained how Jay and I fought like cats and dogs, but had formed a truce for the investigation. And how agame of twenty questions made us realize we had more in common than either of us could’ve imagined.

I didn’t share Jay’s personal stories. They were his to tell. But I shared mine, which included Jay holding and comforting me.

“He cares about you.”

“He’s a decent human and would’ve done it for anyone. ”

“Catelyn, I know your mother and I didn’t set a great example of what a healthy relationship looks like, so I’m probably the last person you want advice from, but I’m giving it to you anyway.”

I barely remembered the two of them together, so they hadn’t set any example. He paused, as if waiting for permission, so I nodded.

“Don’t dismiss him so quickly.”

“Why didn’t he come back to see me?”

“I don’t know, maybe something came up, but don’t you think you should give him a chance to explain?”

Yes. No . “Maybe.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. What if I had to leave SSI after hearing what he had to say? I covered my mouth as a huge yawn escaped. All this talking and thinking and feeling was exhausting.

“Why don’t we relax in front of the TV?” It wasn’t something either of us did often, both preferring to read, but vegging out in front of the TV sounded perfect.

Maybe I can go to DC with my father for a little while . I’d ask in the morning, after a good night’s sleep.