Page 36

Chapter 36

Jay

I expected to sleep like the dead. But the dark, quiet room and warm, comfortable bed weren’t enough to keep the nightmares away. I jerked awake whenever the door opened, the light and sound triggering memories of Roman’s basement. My mind, half-asleep and fuzzy from painkillers, would brace for what was coming.

My parents, who’d convinced the staff to let them stay overnight, would gently bring me back to the present each time.

None of us had a restful night’s sleep.

When Jamie and Jack came back, with Emily and Meg in tow, my parents went to the cafeteria for breakfast. And a much needed break .

Waking up to your panicked screaming child, even an adult child, couldn’t be easy .

Emily’s hug was gentle, but heartfelt. “I’m glad you’re home safe.”

Meg tried to crush me to death. When she pulled away, she slapped my leg.

“What was that for?” I asked, sounding hoarse from holding back my grunts of pain. And my emotions.

“For scaring me half to death.” Meg sounded a lot like my mom when she let her Mama Bear show. “Don’t you ever do that again.” She wiped away a tear.

I hated being the cause of my sisters-in-law’s stress or worry, so I defaulted to humor and saluted when I answered, “Ma’am. Yes, ma’am.”

Jamie and Jack stood back and watched, matching grins on their faces. My grin would match if my lips weren’t swollen.

Meg snuck me a blueberry muffin and coffee from Grannie’s. “I know how much hospital food sucks.”

I drank half the lukewarm coffee in one long pull before thanking her. “You are my new favorite person,” I said before eating the sweet, perfectly baked muffin in three bites.

“Dude, slow down before you choke yourself,” Jack said.

I let my middle finger answer as I enjoyed the rest of my coffee.

My parents returned to a room full of adults, who looked more like kids who’d just put the lid back on the cookie jar.

“How was breakfast?” I asked, brushing crumbs off my blanket.

“Their muffins aren’t as good as ours,” Ma said, “and the eggs were runny. ”

Dad’s focus shifted to the garbage can behind Meg. His left eyebrow rose in question when he saw the Grannie’s sleeve on the cup. “We brought you some coffee. It won’t be as good as your mother’s,” he winked from behind Ma’s back, “but it’ll hold you over until breakfast comes.”

When Jamie finally handed me a backpack, he asked, “Who’s your favorite brother now?”

“The one holding my clean clothes.” I grinned. Getting out of the stupid hospital gown was at the top of my to-do list, just below getting discharged and seeing Cate. “Thank you.”

“We can’t have you walking around with your ass hanging out,” Jamie joked, echoing the thoughts rolling through my head.

“The nurse said you can see Cate after breakfast,” Dad said.

“I can’t wait that long. As soon as I’m dressed, I’m going.” A herd of wild horses couldn’t keep me away.

I made a face before glaring at Jamie after pulling out a robe. “Seriously?”

Ma put her hand on Dad’s arm and said, “I’ll go talk to the nurse and ask if we can sneak you in now.”

Dad was great when it came to intimidating people, but in a hospital that wouldn’t work. Ma would use sweet talk and empathy. I had no doubt the nurse would let me see Cate after my mom got done.

While she was gone, I dragged myself out of bed, with Jack’s help, and put on the robe. “Real clothes would have been better,” I grumbled.

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Jamie said, a look of guilt flashing in his eyes. I had a feeling Dad put him up to it. If they didn’t think I’d walk out of here in nothing but a robe, they were sadly mistaken.

Ma convinced the nurse to let me have five minutes with Cate. I wanted more, but I’d take it.

Dad pushed my wheelchair while Ma followed close behind with my IV stand. The wheelchair was humiliating, but it was the only way the nurse would let me leave my room. When I tried to argue, my father cleared his throat. That was all it took for me to stand down. I hope someday I’m half the father my dad is . Images of kids, a blend of Cate and me, flashed through my mind. Dismissing them, I willed my father to push faster.

Refusing to be wheeled into Cate’s room, I stood and took the IV stand.

I thought I was prepared for what I’d see. But I wasn’t. I gripped the door frame as the air left my lungs. The sight of Cate, who’d been so strong, so brave, so larger than life, looking pale and fragile in her hospital bed, brought tears to my eyes. Tubes and wires stuck out of her like a fucking science experiment gone wrong. They were helping her breath, feeding her, and sounding off her slow, steady heartbeat.

Relief wasn’t the only emotion coursing through my body. Fear she could still die. Anger at the assholes who did this. Guilt she’d suffered so much.

I’m so sorry, Cate. My whimper had nothing to do with my pain as I walked to the edge of her bed. Holding her hand, I sang softly, hoping she’d hear me and know she wasn’t alone .

Back in my room, Dad asked, “You ready to tell us what happened between the two of you in the cage?”

I can’t believe he brought up the cage . Did he tell my mom about it? “We had time to talk.”

Not wasting any time, Ma cut to the chase and asked, “Are you in love with her?”

I didn’t have to look at my brothers to know they had identical smirks on their faces.

“No.”

“Liar,” Jamie coughed around the word at the same time Jack coughed out, “Bullshit.”

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” I asked.

“No.” The said together. Jamie glanced at his phone. “Dean’s here to replace Eric, I’ll be right back.”

Why was Dean replacing Eric? Why was Eric here? Where was he?

“Is there something I need to know?” I asked, the beeping on my monitor picking up speed. Dad told me they’d killed most of the men at the house, including Roman, who’d taken a shot at Doug and paid the ultimate price for his mistake. So why do we need security?

“No, it’s just a precaution,” Dad answered.

During breakfast, I asked my father if he’d talked to Darling and apologized for not thinking of it sooner.

“I did. He’s taking it hard and blaming himself.” None of this was his fault, but I doubted he’d be able to hear that .

As soon as I finished the scrambled eggs and toast, I got dressed and checked myself out. My mom thought I should stay longer, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t stay knowing Cate was alone.

The doctor wanted to keep me another day, but I refused, signing myself out against medical advice. All I needed was rest and Grunt Candy, or ibuprofen as my mom called it. But for now, the painkillers in my system would be enough.

After hugging most of my family goodbye, I walked to Cate’s room. My parents insisted on going with me. I didn’t say it, but I was grateful they’d stayed.

Bracing myself for what I’d see, I took a deep breath before opening the door. It still wasn’t easy seeing her lying there, but at least I didn’t lose it in the doorway. I grabbed a hard plastic chair, moved it to the side of her bed, and got as comfortable as I could. Cate looked less pale than she had earlier, which I took as a good sign.

Dad got an update from the nurse while my mom grabbed a blanket from the empty bed and draped it over my shoulders.

I grabbed her hand to show my gratitude.

“The doctor said they’ll remove the breathing tube later today,” Dad attempted to comfort me, putting his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll take some time, but she should make a full recovery.”

“Should isn’t good enough,” I said.

I slipped my hand under Cate’s and gently laced our fingers together. I’d be there, by her side, making sure she wasn’t alone. No matter how long it takes .

“You don’t have to stay,” I said to my dad, who’d moved two chairs near the door.

“We know,” he replied, making no attempt to move. Ma just smiled and settled into her chair.

“Thank you.” I turned and blinked away the tears forming in my eyes.

I prayed Cate would wake up.

I begged her, silently, to come back to me.

I bargained with God.

When my brothers showed up at lunch with burgers, I inhaled them.

After lunch, Ma kissed me goodbye and left with my brothers. I told Dad he could leave but he said, “I’ll stay.”

I dozed off with my head resting on Cate’s bed, my hand holding hers. The sound of Dad’s voice woke me, saving me from a memory-induced nightmare.

He was on his phone.

“General Maxwell, I’m glad you’ve landed safely. I trust you found your driver okay.”

Her father’s here, which means my time with her is limited . It was a selfish thought, but I didn’t care.

“I’m with her now, she’s unconscious, but stable.”

I willed him to put the phone on speaker, but he didn’t.

I felt a tug at my hand and snapped my attention back to Cate. Her eyelids fluttered, and she mumbled, but she didn’t wake up.

“I’m here,” I whispered. “You’re safe.”

“Yes, sir. I understand.” Hearing my father call someone else sir sounded foreign .

“Jaden and I will stay with her until you get here.”

A short pause.

“Yes sir, we’ll see you then.” He hung up and pocketed his phone.

“When will he get here?” I asked.

“About an hour,” he answered. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she moved her hand and tried opening her eyes.” That has to be a good sign, right?

Assuming I’d have to leave when Maxwell’s dad arrived, I selfishly hoped she’d wake up before then. I wanted to be the first person she saw, the first person she talked to, the first person to reassure her she’d be okay and promise to help her every step of the way.

The one thing I wouldn’t do was tell her how I felt. Not here, not like this. She deserved to be drug-free and fully healed when I confessed my love.

Not knowing what else to do, I sang so she’d know she wasn’t alone.