Page 88 of Breaking Sanity

“We can’t compromise the end goal here, Eagle.”

“Like I said, it’s easy for you to push her aside.”

“What part about this has been easy? Huh? You don’t think that I don’t want to break down that door and haul heraway? When she fully fucking panicked that night, you don’t think I didn’t want to kill all of them for putting that fear into her? You don’t think I wanted to rip her from Gunner and show her that she doesn’t hate us? Because I wanted to do all of that! But we can’t compromise this. Even though every atom in my body screams for her, this is more important right now. We both know saving her isn’t a fucking option.”

“Fuck!” He backs off. “That confession of hers …”

“I know man. It wasn’t the easiest to hear.”

“She really meant what she said didn’t she?”

“Yeah.” I let out a deep breath leaning against the wall.

“She thought that we helped put her in here, Shadow.”

“I know.”

“How do we change that? She can’t break. She needs to know that I..”

“I am going to stop you before you finish that sentence. Knowing that either one of us cares deeply for herwill only hurt her more. She won’t understand. Or worse, she will and then she could be even more unpredictable.”

“Then we fucking tell her the truth! I cannot let her go thinking that I fucking used her!”

“Lower your voice. We can’t tell her the truth, at least not yet. If she is hell bent on hating us, it will work to our advantage, and we can end this sooner rather than later.”

“Fucking Christ, Shadow. Do you hear yourself? Did you not hear what she said?”

“I will not warn you again, Eagle. I do hear myself and I know how much of an asshole I sound like. I know what she said, I was there. I don’t want to make her any promises I cannot fucking keep, neither can you. She means a lot to both of us, but you know as well as I do, that in our world we can’t have her. So why give her that hope, when we will just strip it away again.” I am trying not to yell in his face by keeping my voice as low as possible but if he keeps pushing, I will knock his ass out.

“If you love her as much as you claim then fucking tell her the truth and help her make it out of this place in one piece. Don’t make the same mistake I did.” He pushes me away from him.

“She’s not Emily, Leo,” I sigh, feeling odd for using his real name. I don’t think I’ve said it since she was gone. He has been letting her hang over his head for so long.

“You’re right, she’s not. She is different from Emily. She is a savage, intelligent, and brave but you are forgetting that she still has a heart. Which is shattering as we speak. And you are just standing by letting it happen. She clung to Baron in that office just so that she could feel something, anything. She wanted to feel wanted. The only reason she bit him is because he touched his initials.”

“I know, she panicked.”

“She did more than just panic,” he scoffs.

“How do you know?”

I had started to catch on that she has moments of weakness when she starts to panic and craves affection. The perfect example is when I watched how Vaughn got her into that ice bath. But it was only me with them, not Eagle.

“Because she told me what goes on in her head. Us dancing in the kitchen didn’t just happen that night we first hooked up.”

“What the fuck?”

“Am I interrupting?” Alley’s hoarse voice breaks our conversation, and we turn to look at her. Her hair is up in a towel, and her eyes are puffy and red.

“No, you weren’t,” He bites out and she flinches. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. No doubt berating himself for snapping at her.

“Come here Little Monster ,” I command.

“I’d rather not,” she says, heading towards the vanity.

We had to lug that thing up here from the basement just for her. It was per Gunner’s request, and he stocked it with lotions, perfume, and make up. It took everything in me to not laugh when she threw each piece of make up at him, while repeating for him to go fuck himself with it. Plus a slew of other insults and yelling.

Instead of pushing her, I let her be. She puts on her lotion and Baron’s shirt, one of the only ones she hasn’t shredded.