Page 32 of Blood Ties

Riley

M y heart surges as Kai comes down the stairs, but when I see his face, I immediately knows it’s bad news.

“Sorry,” he says, avoiding my gaze. “I checked his room. He must’ve trashed it.”

It was always a long shot, but it still stings. “That’s okay. Thanks for trying.”

I wonder if he realizes how clearly his emotions are written on his face. The way his eyes soften when he looks at me. “I wish I could do more...”

I don’t want to push him too hard, especially after I just asked for a favor, but this is important. “You could go the store and buy me something...”

He shakes his head. “I don’t have money. Or a car.”

“Right.” I hesitate, wondering if I should suggest that he could steal both, but I pause as I study him. His shoulders are braced like he’s expecting a blow for disappointing me.

I’ve seen the bruises on him before. Even on that very first night when we all drank together, I noticed the way Knox would push him around. His dad is probably worse.

It’s obvious that Kai has been abused... and kept entirely dependent on his abusers. Nobody even taught him how to fucking read . He’s almost as trapped in this house as I am.

But he’s not the one in the basement with a shackle on his wrist. He could leave if he really wanted to. Just like he could find a way to let me go if he wanted me to be free.

I need to remember that I have a plan to survive, and it doesn’t involve feeling sympathetic toward one of my captors. I’m going to use him. I can’t let feelings get in the way.

Yet I don’t push him to steal for me. It could get him hurt, but more importantly, he might pull away from me if I ask too much too soon. I get the feeling that looking in his brother’s room was a big step as it is. I need him to trust me before I ask for more. Or better yet, I need him to love me.

I’s dangerously easy to soften my voice as I say, “Come sit with me. I promised a reading lesson.”

He glances at me, his head still low, his shoulders braced. “But I didn’t get what you wanted.”

“You tried.” I smile at him, pat the mattress beside me. “C’mon. Please. I could use the distraction.”

He hesitantly comes to sit beside me. I can feel his eyes on me as I dig into my backpack to pull out a book: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

Kai eyes the cover. “That looks like a kid’s book.”

“It is, technically. It’s also one of my favorites.”

“Really?” he asks, skeptical. I can see how wary he is, his shoulders and jaw set, just waiting for me to make a dig at him. Like he suspects me offering up a kid’s book is a joke at his expense.

“Seriously.” I smile and nudge him with my shoulder, trying to put him at ease.

“Why do you think I brought it? It wasn’t like I was expecting to.

..” I trail off. What was I even going to say?

To end up trapped in a basement teaching someone how to read?

“Expecting anyone to see it, I mean.” I run my fingers over the worn cover and dog-eared pages. “I reread it all the time.”

“Why?”

I shrug. “I find it comforting, I guess. It’s an escape from real life.”

“How?” He studies the book in my hands. “It’s just paper. Just words.”

“Well... it’s hard to explain. But maybe I can show you.”

I open the book on my lap, scooting up against him so he can see too, and start to read aloud.

I follow the words with my finger, but Kai keeps looking at me instead of the page, long sideways glances when he thinks I’m not paying attention to him.

I let him look. Let our knees and shoulders brush as we’re sitting together.

Because at the end of the day, I don’t really give a fuck if he actually learns to read.

This is just a way to be useful to him other than sex, now that losing my birth control has made that risky.

It’s also a way to spend time with him. Get him attached to me.

I keep expecting him to interrupt me. He must have an ulterior motive here too, like a boy asking a girl to study as an excuse to get in her bedroom.

But after a few minutes, Kai stops staring at me and looks at the book instead, dark hair falling around his face as he leans down to see better.

A couple times he stops me to repeat a word, or ask what it means.

But most of the time he’s quiet, his brow furrowed as he listens to my voice.

An easy hour passes as I read aloud. I gradually relax as I realize he doesn’t intend to make a move on me. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected it. I have no doubt that he wants me — he’s made that very clear — but he’s shy, even after what we’ve done together.

In the silence as I turn a page, he suddenly sits upright, looking up at the ceiling. I follow his gaze and hear footsteps above.

“Shit,” he mutters. “Dad’s home. I have to go get dinner ready.”

“Okay. That’s fine.” I close the book as he stands and stretches.

He hesitates at the foot of the stairs, glancing back at me. “Can we do this again tomorrow?”

I smile. “Of course, Kai. You can come back whenever you want. Not like I’m going anywhere.”

Probably shouldn’t have said the last part.

It strikes a dark tone in our lighthearted conversation.

But as he guiltily glances at the shackle on my wrist, I decide that maybe it’s a good thing after all.

I shouldn’t let him forget why I’m here.

I need that guilt to grow, little by little, until he has no choice but to confront it.