Page 31 of Blood Ties

Kai

I stand in front of Knox’s door.

His truck’s missing, so he’s probably in town at the bar. And he didn’t even lock his bedroom door. Still, it feels strange pushing it open and walking in. There’s a pit in my stomach like I’m about to be caught doing something wrong, though this hardly ranks on the list of terrible shit I’ve done.

I close the door behind me and stare around.

I can’t remember the last time I was in here.

My own room is tiny and bare, with only the small bed, a rickety folding table I use as a nightstand, and my stereo, along with a bag of my ragged supply of clothes.

Knox’s room looks more like an actual bedroom, the kind we used to see on TV.

He’s got a dresser with overflowing drawers, a real nightstand, a mirror.

Plus enough random shit to fill every available surface — empty beer bottles, discarded packs of cigarettes, an old Polaroid camera, sunglasses, a watch, clothes everywhere. ..

I rake my fingers through my hair, sigh, and start sifting through the clutter. Everything smells like him, leather and cigarettes and cologne. It makes me feel like he’s standing just behind me, watching me.

But the longer I look, the more I forget about the wrongness of it.

It’s weirdly fascinating, searching through my brother’s stuff.

There’s a charger hidden in his sock drawer, which I can guess belongs to a cellphone.

I didn’t know he had a phone. I’m not allowed to have a phone.

But I guess he’d probably say he needs it for work.

‘Cause he has a job, technically, working as a mechanic alongside Dad, and I don’t.

That means he has money, too, which is probably how he ended up with all of this shit.

Like the clothes. All I get are his old hand-me-downs, things he tosses to me because he “doesn’t need them anymore.

” The clothes I’m wearing now are from him.

My stereo was his gift, same with the small stash of magazines under my mattress.

Everything I have was his first. Even Riley.

I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away. There’s no sign of her birth control, nor anything out of place. But I turn back to eye the bed, remembering the stash I found under Uncle Frank’s. My stomach lurches as I drop down to look, but — there’s nothing.

I squint. Almost nothing. But a board is jutting up from the floor, ever so slightly. When I reach in and prod at it, it’s wobbly. I move it aside, and look down into the darkness beneath where a shoebox is waiting.

I’m not sure I want to know what’s in there. But if Knox is hiding Riley’s birth control, that’s where it’ll be.

I slide the box onto my lap, open it, and suck in a breath.

On top are some of the filthy magazines I already know he likes, along with a stack of polaroids. I glance at one photo to find it’s exactly what I expected — a girl, tied up and naked — and grimace, setting those aside.

Beneath them sits a wad of cash, surprisingly thick, some of it bloodstained. I flip through it, brow furrowing as I remember that Knox was the one who first discovered Caleb was alive. I guess it’s not the only body he’s checked over before I got rid of it.

Underneath that is a pearl necklace. It seems out of place, more of the sort of trophy that Uncle Frank would keep. Then I have a glint of memory, of the same string of pearls around Momma’s neck, and swallow past a lump in my throat.

There’s a small key. I stare at it for a long time, my mouth dry... and then I shake my head and set it aside.

Lastly there’s a polaroid, set aside from the others. I’m queasy as I reach for it, but I make myself flip it over, and frown. It takes me a second to recognize my own face, slack in sleep as I’m curled up in bed.

“The fuck,” I mutter. “Weirdo.”

I shove it all back into the box, replace the lid, and put it under the floorboard where I found it. Then I sit on the bed, and wait for Knox to come home.

*

M Y brOTHER STUMBLES through the doorway, the smell of beer and whiskey rolling off of him. It takes him a second to notice me sitting there, and then he startles, reaching for the knife at his belt before he stops himself.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“Riley’s birth control,” I say. “Where is it?”

He lets out a startled laugh. “ What? ”

“I know you took it,” I say, stone-faced.

“You stupid shit,” Knox says, still laughing. “I tossed it. Of course I fucking tossed it. And you need to use your fucking head.” He stumbles toward me, and jabs his finger into my temple hard enough to make me wince.

“You’re the one not thinking.” I shove his finger away. “You want to get her pregnant? What are we gonna do about a baby, Knox? We can’t take her to a doctor.”

“Dad’ll know what to do,” Knox says. He grips my shoulder, leans in close like he’s sharing a secret, his whiskey breath hot against my face. “You and I were both born here in this house, you know that, right? Didn’t need any doctors then, don’t need ‘em now. It’ll be fine.”

For a second I can only stare. I thought he was being impulsive and short-sighted, but the truth is even worse. He’s thought this through and he’s still doing it.

“Knox,” I say, “that’s fucking crazy.”

“Is it? Think about it.” His eyes are intent on mine. “We can keep her for real if she’s knocked up. Dad won’t hurt her then.”

My brow furrows. “He won’t?”

Knox snorts. “Right. I guess you don’t get the lectures about carrying on the bloodline and all that bullshit. But trust me... He’ll be glad for another pair of hands.” He smirks, slow and predatory. “Or two. Or three.”

I shake my head, trying to pull away from him, but his grip on my shoulder prevents me from escaping. “We’re not gonna do that to her.”

“No, you’re not gonna do that to her,” he says. “You can keep playing the white knight if you want, kiddo. I’ll handle the rest. Trust me, this is the only way we keep our girl safe.”

Our girl . My stomach sinks. Even worse, he looks like he expects me to be grateful.

“Everything will be fine then,” he says. “One happy fuckin’ family.”

The scary thing is that I think he believes it. I don’t even know what to say to him, but after a moment he continues, swaying slightly on his feet.

“It’s easier if you don’t think of them as people,” he says.

“The girls in the basement, I mean. ‘Cause they’re not, really. They’re already dead.

Unless...” He points at me. “Unless she’s got a baby in her.

” He tilts his head, thoughtful. “The others were too boring, but... Riley’s different.

And you like her, too. Win-win. Right? She could be the one. ”

I shut my eyes, shaking my head. That’s so fucked. All of this is fucked.

“Knox, please,” I say as I open my eyes again, hating the way my voice cracks. But maybe if I’m not strong enough to fight, then pleading will get through to him. “Can’t you just stay away from her?”

He cocks his head, scrutinizing me. “And why would I do that? Are you gonna knock her up?”

“No! But I...” I fumble for words. “But she—”

“You know she likes what I do to her,” he says. “Right?”

I pause. Stare at him.

“I know you heard us together that first night,” he says, a slow grin crawling over his face.

“But that was...” I shake my head. “The bruises—”

He huffs a laugh. “Listen, Kai. There’s a lot you don’t understand about women.” He leans closer, his nose brushing mine, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I can teach you, if you like.”

I finally shake off his grip and push to my feet, recoiling from him. He grabs my arm before I can head for the door.

I could fight him like this, I realize. He’s really drunk. I might have a chance. But my head is all scrambled. I don’t know what’s right anymore, or if I ever did.

“Don’t let that girl twist your head up,” Knox says, his fingers digging into my skin.

“She’ll lie about me. She’ll lie about everything, if she thinks it’ll give her a shot at getting out of there.

” He shakes me, hard, before letting me go.

“But I’m the one who’s always looked out for you. Don’t you fuckin’ forget it.”