Page 11 of Bellamy

Our bond not only allowed us to speak telepathically, but we could sometimes read each other’s thoughts too. Strong feelings were also shared. Anger. Love. Sadness.

“Yeah,” Raiden said before shoving more chips into his mouth. “We love you. But please go wash your ass.”

Gray threw his head back with a laugh.

Once I was freshly showered and no longer reeking of sex, I went back downstairs. Raiden had moved from the kitchen to the arcade and stood beside the pool table.

“Wanna play?” he asked.

“Sure.” I grabbed a stick from the rack and chalked the tip.

I shot first, knocking a stripe into the upper-left pocket after the billiard balls scattered across the table. I missed my second shot, and then he pocketed several solids.

“Everything good with you?” Raiden asked, straightening back up after knocking a fourth ball in. “You seem kinda off.”

“The guy I hooked up with tonight was the romantic type,” I said. “He had hearts in his eyes from the moment he saw me. It’s my fault for depriving Lust for so long. I wasn’t thinking straight and chose the first guy who showed interest.”

“You were thinking with your small head.”

“It’s bigger than yours.”

“Rude,” Raiden said with a scoff. “The guy didn’t look upset when he came outta your room though. If that makes you feel better.”

It did. A little. “Good.” Sex should never be used to hurt anyone. It made me sick just thinking about it. “I break beds, not hearts.”

“Your motto.”

I laughed and lined up another shot, aiming for the bottom right pocket.

“Can I ask ya something?” Raiden leaned against his pool stick and adjusted his hat. He always sported a backwards hat. His signature look. “Whydidyou go so long without sex? That’s not like you.”

A wave of anxiety rippled through me, but I quickly masked it. I put a lid on my thoughts just as fast, forcing myself to think of nothing. It was how I’d kept it hidden for almost a year. A secret my brothers would tear me apart if they knew.

I had a mate. And that mate was our goddamn enemy.

Thanks to the incident a few months back when I’d healed Phoenix after Mason shot him, Alastair now knew my dirty little secret. But the others couldn’t find out. If Galen didn’t kill me, Castor definitely would. Daman and Gray too. All of them hated Phoenix. And rightly so.

As for why I’d gone a while without fucking? It was getting harder—ironically—to get hard for people. Guy, girl, it didn’t matter. My body wasn’t interested. Probably because of the goddamn mate thing. Only when Lust was desperate did I cave. But it was why I only bottomed these days.

“Dry spell,” I eventually answered. “We all have them.”

“Yeah, but you never do.” Raiden studied me, his brow drawn tight. My gluttonous brother might’ve been big and a little ditsy, but he wasn’t nearly as dumb as he seemed sometimes. “What’s up, B? Cut the shit. You haven’t been yourself lately. I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be worried. Life has been tough. We’re in the middle of a damn war. Hell, we almost died in battle a few months ago. Since then, demons have been trying to find Lucifer’s sword… a sword that just so happens to be in our mansion. Shit’s been crazy around here. Sex was put on the back burner.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Raiden said. “I haven’t been in the mood much either. For sex. Not food. I’m always in the mood for some pizza.”

Dodged a bullet there.

Blocking my thoughts from them was no easy feat. All it took was one small fuckup and all of them would know. And they could never know. While it wasn’t my fault that fate had screwed me over and made my soul mate a demon who’d tried to kill us too many times to count, my brothers would see me differently. Maybe even see me as a liability, someone they couldn’t trust anymore.

This home, this family, would fade away.

I’d lose them.

***

Twin blades gleamed under the pale light of the moon, one sword in each hand as I stood on the dock. Screeches echoed from behind me, and the scent of char and rot permeated the air.