Page 45

NEVER A WHIM

ALEX

Mila slips a dress over her curves, and it takes every ounce of my control to stay seated on the bed instead of walking over and slicing it off her body.

I’m possessed.

Love doesn’t have enough letters. Enough bite. Enough sickness between the lines to describe what this girl does to me.

When I pulled her from the fire years ago, I didn’t think much about what I was doing past the fact that I couldn’t let this girl die. I was too messed up to see past the demons raging in my head to process why I helped her.

It wasn’t until I saw Mila years later, walking into Montgomery to meet up with my sister, that I started to understand how she changed me when she tried to run into that fire to save her friend.

Before Mila, there was only pain and the various ends of things.

There was only darkness.

But Mila is fight . She’s life breathing wildly around me .

She’s survival.

Her green gaze finds me through the mirror, and it lances my chest. If she only knew murder is the least of what I’d do for her. I’d go to the ends of the earth. The edge of my sanity. The brink of death.

I’d cross every line.

If she knew the full extent, she might not have let me carve into her last night, but there’s no escaping me now. This is beyond commitment—it’s devotion. There is no beginning, middle, or end.

Especially when she watches me through the mirror with that look that hints I’m not the only protective one of the two of us. It flared on her tongue when I tried to explain my father’s tactics last night. She cares about my well-being, as if I’m not already past the point of salvation.

No flesh unmarred.

No corner of my soul intact.

She fights for me anyway, without ulterior motives.

I don’t deserve it.

Mila’s gaze drops to my clenched hands, so I relax them. For years, the pain of my scars was all that kept me sane because it meant I was still here. But lately, they don’t ache like they did. Pain dulls.

When Mila finishes her hair, she spins in her navy-blue summer dress to face me. “Are you re-enrolling at Briar next semester now that you’ve moved back into Sigma House?”

“I was planning on it.” I rest my hands behind me on the bed.

“Then what happens now?”

“With what?”

She walks over to the bed, moving to sit beside me. But I grab her waist at the last second, pulling her onto my lap instead. She is the ray of sunshine in a dark room, and I’m the shadows desperate to drink her down.

“What’s next with everything, I guess. Your major. The future… Us.” She bites her lip at the last one, hinting that’s what she’s actually worried about. “After this summer ends and you get back into the swing of things, you’ll be busy with Sigma House and?—”

“All I want is you, Mila.”

She frowns. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” I kiss the back of her hand.

“You’ve had me lots of ways already, Alex.” Her cheeks blush. “High school girls might not have gotten your attention, but this is college now. Everyone’s older. Prettier.”

“I don’t give a fuck about anyone else. Trust me on that.”

She rests her forehead against mine, closing her eyes. “And I’m enough?”

It’s very rare that Mila lets anyone see her insecurity. At first, I didn’t know if she had any. But the closer we get, the more it bleeds to the surface. She’s so used to being used and rejected that she doesn’t know how to accept commitment. No matter the lengths I’ve gone to prove myself.

I’ve killed for her. I lost my virginity to her. I let her carve herself into my skin.

And still, that’s not what she’s asking for. I’m just now realizing she needs the most basic thing. Something easier to define.

“You’re more than enough for me, Mila.” I wrap a hand around the back of her hair. “What do you need from me to prove that? Do you want to be my girlfriend? My wife?”

Her eyes snap open. “Your wife? ”

I can’t help but grin at how red her cheeks turn. “I’m not opposed to it.”

“Clearly.” She shakes her head. “How about we stick with boyfriend and girlfriend for now?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Mila Bianchi. I’m yours.”

Her hands flatten on my chest as she exhales. “I’m yours too.”

“Good.” I brush a kiss on her lips. “As for everything else, I don’t know. I guess I’ll focus on school and help Declan figure out how to handle the new Council.”

“Aren’t the four of you the new Council?”

“For the time being.” I shrug. “Kole doesn’t want that kind of responsibility.

And I sure as fuck don’t want it. Maddox is too high to even know what he’s supposed to be doing.

We’re it for now, but we need someone who bridges the line between the college and what comes after.

Most members aren’t at Briar. They’re all over the country.

Someone needs to be willing to deal with all the branches. ”

“I didn’t think of it like that. Does Declan have someone in mind?”

“He does, and Kole is working on it.” I hum, pulling her close. “But I don’t want to talk about that. I don’t give a fuck what happens to Sigma House—or anything for that matter—so long as I have you.”

“You have low standards, Alex Lancaster.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” I kiss her forehead. “What about you? What are your thoughts on everything I told you last night?”

Searching for Torin brought her to Bristal, but he’s gone now.

Her gaze drops to the space between us. “The only reason I enrolled at Briar Academy was to get close to Sigma House and find out who killed Remi. I guess I’ve done that.”

“You want to leave then?”

“What if I did?”

“I’d ask where you’re taking me.”

A proud smile blooms on her cheeks. “You really are serious about us?”

“Dead serious.”

“I don’t doubt that.” She huffs out a laugh. “But no, I don’t want to leave. I just?—”

She cuts herself off, her eyebrows furrowing.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking about last night. You said Torin was taken care of?”

“I did.”

Mila shakes her head, climbing off my lap to grab her phone off the dresser. “That’s not possible.”

“Talk to me, Mila.”

Nearly all the color has drained from her face.

“Did anyone else suspect why I came here? Why I’ve been looking into Sigma House?”

“No.” I made sure of it. I’ve been hiding her tracks since she first showed up at Montgomery and I learned she was digging into the fraternity.

“Are you sure Torin is dead?”

“I’m sure.”

“But the night of your trial was intense, and like you said, you were weak and exhausted. Are you sure he was dead dead, Alex?”

“Like there’s another version of being dead?” My eyebrow arches. “Why are you asking?”

Mila spins her phone around to show me a thread of text messages. “If Torin is dead, who is sending me these? ”

I snatch her phone, my heart thundering.

The string of threatening texts goes back over the past couple of months. How could I miss this? I stopped monitoring her phone after I left Montgomery because I had other ways to keep Mila close, but clearly I shouldn’t have. Someone has been messaging her.

Threatening her.

And she’s right, it does sound like Torin, but that’s not possible.

“These can’t be from him.” My pulse hammers between my temples.

“Then who is it?”

“I’m going to find out.” I text myself the number, then hand her back her phone. “Don’t answer any of these texts.”

“I won’t.” Her eyebrows pinch. “I haven’t.”

“Good.” I lift her chin, kissing her. “I need to take care of a few things today. But come by Sigma House later?”

“You can’t go a night without seeing me, can you?”

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close. “You can either come to me, or I’ll come to you. But no, I can’t.”

“I appreciate the honesty, Alex Lancaster.” She grins against my mouth. “Even if it makes you a stalker.”

“Your stalker…” I plant another kiss on her perfect mouth. “I’ll text when I’m done at my parents’ house.”

She frowns. “Your parents hate me, so maybe don’t mention that you made me your girlfriend.”

“I’ll try to keep my mouth shut.” I smile, and she rolls her eyes at my joke. “But don’t worry about them. They have shitty taste. You should take it as a compliment if they feel that way about you. It means you’re too good for them. ”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. I don’t give a fuck what my parents think. You’re mine, Mila. Now. Forever. Always.”

“Not a whim?” Hurt bleeds in her tone, and I hate that my father called her that.

“Never a whim.” I tip her chin up. “Not that I won’t continue chasing you forever.”

“I think I like the sound of that.”

And I brush my mouth over hers. “And I like every sound you make, my angel.”

Alex

Thanks for the cleanup.

Declan

I don’t know what you’re talking about…

Kole

Is it just me, or was that anticlimactic? I was enjoying Marco’s slow psychotic break as Alex tormented him.

Alex

Sorry to ruin your entertainment.

Declan

At least that’s taken care of. Everything else under control at the House?

Alex

As much as it ever is. But I need someone to investigate something for me.

Declan

What?

Alex

A phone number. Someone has been texting Mila threats.

Kole

I warned you not to stop monitoring her phone just because you were out of Montgomery.

Alex

I trust my girlfriend.

Kole

And I trust Violet. But no one is so much as breathing in her direction without me knowing about it. Much less texting her.

Declan

Thank you for doing the rest of us a favor by making us appear sane, Kole. A true hero among men.

Kole

Keep that in mind next time you need me to track down your wife. Send me the number, Alex. I’ll figure out who the fucker is.

Declan

Try to keep the body count to a minimum. I’m back in two weeks.

Kole

Where’s the fun in that?

Alex

Can’t promise anything.

Declan

Fuck both of you .

I managed to stay composed in front of Mila, but every last nerve is on edge since reading the texts she’s been receiving.

She assumed it was Torin because that’s who she was digging into, but the truth is, it could be anyone at Sigma House.

She went looking where she shouldn’t have and tripped someone’s radar.

I need Kole to figure out quickly who it is.

The front door swings open as I put my phone into my pocket. My father frowns from the threshold, irritable as always. His lips are in a firm line, making it clear he’s no happier with me right now than I am with him.

Last night, he planted a bomb, and Mila stepped on it.

He probably hoped it would be the final straw to push her away so he could set me up with one of his rich friends’ daughters.

Marrying for money is practically expected from a Lancaster.

The only reason I’ve escaped it this long is because I wound up locked in Montgomery.

I don’t doubt that he’s already scheming now that I’m out.

“Alex.” Dad waves me into the house, but he doesn’t lead me to his office.

His clipped text made it clear this would be a quick visit between meetings. The only reason we’re doing it in person is that he doesn’t trust phones that can be traced or hacked. It’s why he used books to send messages and assign me tasks while I was at Montgomery.

“I know you’re upset about the girl.”

My jaw ticks. He’s not using her name on purpose because he sees absolutely no value in her. Rage boils in my veins, but I don’t respond because I’m still not ready for my parents to know I’ve started talking again.

“I didn’t mean for her to overhear our conversation,” he lies. “But I’m assuming you got that sorted. ”

I nod.

“Good. And things are resolved?”

I nod again, and he smiles. Not because he cares that Mila and I worked through it, but because I stormed out after her, and he probably assumes I’d hold it against him if we didn’t. He’s walking that fine line, figuring out how to cut her out of my life without pissing me off.

“She seems nice,” he pushes, and my teeth grind as I hold back. “You deserve a little fun. You’ve earned it.”

Like being locked in a psychiatric ward earns me a prize?

“Onto business.” Dad swiftly moves the conversation along, like he always does.

“I need to meet with Declan when he’s back in town.

Rumor has it that he’ll be taking over control of Ian Pierce’s remaining assets as soon as the judge unfreezes them.

We need to ensure the Pierce family’s goals are still in alignment with ours. ”

He says ours like I care.

“I know he set up the temporary Council, but I’ve heard he’ll be transferring that back out of the fraternity. A smart move on his part, and it’s only fair that a founding family member be considered for the position.”

Meaning him.

Dad always resented Declan’s father for holding the reins, but now that he’s out of the picture, he’s hoping to gain favor with his son to claim control.

“I need you to make sure this transition is smooth, Alex. Declan trusts you.” Dad grips my shoulder, and I stiffen. “This is the way it needs to be. And don’t forget, you owe me.”

Dad nods, leading me back outside. But those words don’t stop rattling even as the door closes behind me and I walk to the car .

What was owed used to be a good enough reason to do anything for my father. Like him or not, he’s blood. Family.

But now I can’t help wondering who he really cares about. Who he’s really helping. And who will take the fall when I’m the one who will be expected to clean it up.