Page 20

MY ONLY RELIEF

MILA

Alex is toying with me.

I can’t tell if it’s playful or cruel, but it’s clear he’s trying to get under my skin.

Of all the things I expected when I threw a knife at his head, it wasn’t this. And after he’s spent the past few weeks ignoring me, I can’t help torturing him a little back, just to see what he’ll do with it.

“You don’t know the first thing about me.” I angle my chin up.

He meets that challenge with an amused smirk. “I know you have a weakness for men who aren’t worth your time.”

“Who says they aren’t worth my time?” I wet my lips, and he swallows hard as his gaze hones in on my tongue. “Are you jealous, Alex?”

I sink back on the desk, spreading my knees farther so he’s standing between them. I plant a hand in front of me, gripping the ledge, and it’s all that hides my underwear from his view in this short skirt.

His eyes focus there—where I need him. Where I’ve probably needed him since the first time he looked me in the eyes and lit this pulsing fire in my core.

“There’s no one for me to be jealous of, Mila.” His gaze snaps to mine.

“Because I broke up with Marco?” I glare. “Like he’s my only option on campus. Do you really think he’s the only member of the House who wants to get between my legs?”

Alex’s jaw feathers in irritation, and my threat lands with the intended impact.

Good.

I want to rile him up.

I’m tired of Alex shutting me out and acting like I mean nothing to him. The fact that he’s here now proves that’s not actually true. If pissing him off is the only way to break this ice-cold facade he’s mastered, then so be it.

“Maybe I’m wrong, and you aren’t jealous at all.

” I jut my chin up, and his hazel eyes darken.

“Maybe you’re just as desperate as they are to lose yourself in someone like me.

How long has it been for you , Alex? Did you break the streak and fuck someone the second you got out of Montgomery, or did you decide to wait?

How long did it take being locked in there before it was actually the lack of another person’s touch that was driving you insane? ”

I’m playing with fire, and I know it.

Standing on the coals and daring them to burn me. Which is why I don’t hold back when I reach for him this time, planting my hand directly on his scarred arm, wondering if he resents me for acknowledging his scars or if he understands I don’t see them as a flaw.

I want his broken pieces.

I want him .

I want to understand what it’s like to experience what he has and survive it.

Bad enough to piss him off until he does something about this.

His fingers flex the longer I’m touching him. Tightening and shaking. Everything from his words to movements is a little choppy, but I don’t mind it. If anything, it fascinates me how he pushes through the pain.

But he doesn’t make a move as he stares into my eyes, frozen. He’s still just long enough to draw out a hint of my insecurity.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like what you see?” I hate how vulnerable that question makes me.

That I even felt the need to ask.

Alex huffs. “You know I do.”

I don’t know that, but his eyes show no hint that he’s lying.

He releases my jaw, dropping his hands to my hips and backing me farther onto the desk. His hard length presses against my core, and I’m thrumming for him. Melting at his touch. Liquid heat courses through me, and I need to hold on before I spin into space.

Only, when I reach for Alex again, he stops me, grabbing my wrists and tugging them behind my back.

“You can’t.” He drops his chin and shakes his head.

I can’t what?

Touch him?

Tempt him?

The questions are on the tip of my tongue, but this all feels too fragile. Like anything could shatter this moment, and I’ll end up facing a closed door if I’m not careful.

“You can’t,” he repeats, stripping his belt from the loops .

He pulls it behind me, wrapping it around my wrists and securing them tightly.

“What are you doing?” I try to tug free, but it only traps me more.

Alex doesn’t answer as he grabs the knife off the desk and spears it through the belt buckle, pinning my bound hands behind my back and to the desk.

“You could have just asked me not to touch you again.” I glare at him. “Isn’t this a little extreme?”

“Maybe.” His eyes take an appreciative sweep down my body, pausing at my spread legs. “But I think I prefer it this way.”

“You’re twisted.” I pull on the belt, but it barely moves. “Absolutely sick.”

He hums, amusement ghosting his expression as he grips my chin and forces me to face him. His other hand traces circles on my knee before slowly skating up my leg and dipping inward.

The slow, torturous path up my inner thigh has me on fire. But he pauses right before he reaches where I need him. Teasing me with slow circles on my sensitive skin.

Just when I think I’ll have to beg him, he puts me out of my misery, landing between my legs and pressing the wet lace covering my pussy.

The groan that rumbles in his chest is primal. His grip on my chin is borderline painful. But when he slips his thumb past the lace and slicks it over my core, I lose track of all feeling besides that movement.

“Alex.” My eyes flutter, and there’s no more pain.

No more bindings.

Just Alex touching me in a way that is as possessive as it is curious. Like I’m the only thing in the entire world that matters to him. Like I’m the first person he’s explored .

“Yes, Mila?” He watches every reaction as he slowly plays with my clit. Building me up and then letting me down. Over and over.

I lose the question I was asking. My words.

My thoughts.

There’s only Alex’s eyes, refusing to break their stare on mine while he learns my body. It’s terrifying how well he sees me. How one touch erases the past few weeks like they didn’t exist.

My knees tighten their grip on Alex’s hips in a sorry attempt to pull him closer when he’s so adamant about refusing my touch.

“Alex,” I groan when he slips his hand away. “Please. I need more.”

I’m begging.

A girl who never asks men for anything is pleading for this one to put me out of my misery.

I selfishly beg him for things even he might not be ready for after what he’s been through. Not caring as my body demands he sates this desire that courses through every vein.

I beg and hope he’ll prove this hasn’t been all in my head. That I’m enough for him.

“Please—”

His lips cut me off as they land on mine. His kiss is a claim and a promise. Hard but gentle. Tense like it hurts him to feel me like this. Desperate because he wants it regardless.

Alex kisses me, and I know in the pit of my soul nothing will compare to it.

My lips part, and his tongue slips in, staking claim. Connecting us. Binding this invisible tether as his body seals to mine .

Alex can barely seem to be around himself, so I doubt he’ll be able to handle me for long. But I sink into the kiss and pretend it will last forever. I savor the mint and vodka on his tongue, and I wish so badly I could dig my hands into his hair.

That I could explore him with touch.

But if this is all he can handle—all he can control—then so be it. I place myself on his altar.

Alex grabs my thighs, peeling them wider. He doesn’t break the kiss as he drags my skirt to my hips, and his fingers graze the knife holster.

“Long story,” I mumble against his mouth.

Luckily, he doesn’t ask me to elaborate as he digs his fingers into the mounds of my ass and tugs me to the edge of the desk, rocking me against his cock.

I’ve never needed someone’s body the way I need his in this moment. Like an answer to a prayer when I’ve lost all faith.

With my legs locked at his hips, I suck his tongue into my mouth and do my best to consume him like he’s consuming me. He might deny me touch, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t give me everything else.

Alex drags his hands up over my thighs to peel my lace underwear aside. A low grumble rattles in his chest as he sinks a finger deep, and I need more of this brain-altering effect I seem to have on him.

Medicinal, almost.

Curing the pain, even if only temporarily.

He rolls a thumb over my clit, and I can’t help rocking to meet his movements. My kissing turns from needy to frantic as I chase the pleasure starting to pool.

Alex sinks his teeth into my lower lip and tugs, opening his eyes to stare directly at me as he slowly drags his teeth off my lip, leaning in to lick that spot.

Holy hell, this man’s tongue. I want it between my legs.

Alex smirks like he reads my mind, and when he glances down, I follow his gaze to find him working the zipper on his jeans. One hand plays with me while the other shoves his briefs down in the front, and I lose all sense of space or time.

I lose who I am and where we are, or who could walk in.

Nothing matters as he strokes his cock and nudges it at my entrance.

I’ve pictured this in the middle of the night so many times over these past few weeks; I wonder if I’m dreaming now.

It’s right and wrong. My best friend’s brother is stroking his cock against my pussy, and I don’t care that he’s spent the past couple of years losing his mind.

I let myself believe I can put him back together.

“Alex.” I’m out of breath as I look up and see he’s watching my face as he sinks in.

His face tenses with every inch. All light leaves his eyes, and they’re glass. Mirrors. A wonderland of all the things he never says, but I swear he feels. His hips connect with mine, and I’m stretched beyond my limits.

My face screws, and I tense around him.

“Fuck.” His gaze falls to where we connect, and his shoulders puff as he admires my desire streaking his cock. “You really should have stayed away, Mila.”

His hips thrust forward again, and something untethers. Wild need courses, and even if I was teasing him earlier, I wonder how long it really has been since Alex had sex. Because he looks at me like he wants to devour me.

His nails are short, but they bite into my skin with his rough grip. And as he starts to pull out, his shoulders shudder.

When he thrusts in again, he’s lost all sense of hesitation. He’s no longer gentle as he grabs my jaw and pulls my mouth to his. The kiss is teeth and fight, fusing us together. He fucks me with his tongue like he fucks me with his cock. Needy and brutal.

And I need more.

His thumb finds my clit again, and he plays in those torturous circles that drive me mad. I’m barely keeping my composure at the first sweeps of his touch.

His thrusts are strong and deep, and nearly impossible to take.

Alex forces it anyway. Grabbing my ass and holding me to meet his pulsing hips. Striking me where my vision becomes colorless, and the world loses all sound.

He’s my air, and he holds me like I’m his earth.

He becomes every inhale.

Vital for my existence.

My insides shatter, and I’m one with the air as I clench around him and fall apart.

It’s almost too much as he moves faster, drawing out every pulse of my orgasm.

And he sounds almost in pain as he chases his own.

As his pace quickens and his teeth clench.

As his body shakes. Only then does he break the kiss and bury his face in the side of my neck, filling me with his cum.

One needy pulse after another claims me.

Shivers still rack through both of us as he slows. But he doesn’t pull out or back up immediately. He keeps me sealed to him. Out of breath and fight. His release dripping onto the floor beneath us.

If I thought there was any getting over this man, I was wrong .

This is my end.

Or is he my beginning?

Alex presses his forehead to mine, and it hurts to look into his eyes because I’m not ready for what I’ll find there. Darkness. Fear. Uncertainty.

He closes them and takes a breath. “You want to know why I avoided you?”

“Mm-hmm.” I hum, still catching my breath.

“Because you are—” He pauses—his voice catching—his breath uneven. “You are my only relief, Mila Bianchi. My only relief.”