Page 43

MY PERSON

MILA

Alex hitches my leg up over his shoulder. His tongue meets my core, and I forget why I should hate him.

I didn’t fall for this man’s comforting words. I clung to the broken thoughts he scribbled in a journal when he lost his mind. I latched onto the darkness that stirred in his eyes. Shadows that only exist when a person has done something unfathomable.

I didn’t fall for sweet edges or empty promises. I fell for a single truth: Alex is broken, and there is no putting him back together.

Sick or twisted as it may be, I don’t want to.

Alex throws my other leg over his shoulder, pinning my back to the wall while he kisses my center. He pushes every limit. It’s like he can’t breathe without me.

And I can’t exist without him.

My hands tangle in his wavy hair, and I lose my breath. My heart seizes as he draws an infinity with his tongue. He writes a promise with his lips, and I close my eyes as I drift to the darkest parts of space .

Alex tugs my ass, angling my hips and forcing me to ride his mouth. A thousand butterflies flutter, and I could chase them, never coming close to catching this feeling he gives me. It’s all-consuming.

He’s in every nerve from my fingertips to my toes. My entire body twists and curls, and I submit to his touch.

Alex fucks me with his tongue, and then he starts drawing those slow, torturous sweeps.

Forever.

Always.

Endlessly.

My nails dig into his scalp, and as our gazes connect, I become pieces. An open wound that bleeds into him. The world around me shatters, taking me with it. And he holds me to that heat as I ride his lips. Watching me as he kisses me through my climax.

I’m still out of breath as the edges of my vision start to clear. But the need can’t be tamed. All he’s done is awaken this desire that consumes and drowns and takes.

Like he reads my thoughts, he slips my legs from his shoulders and stands swiftly, picking me up. I twine my legs around his hips, and his mouth meets mine as he carries me to my bedroom.

The kiss is a mixture of us. Me on his tongue. Him in my heart.

I’m a master of knives, and still, I could never cut him out. This sickness he spreads in me is incurable.

The room tilts on its axis as he plants me on the bed. His body over mine. My knees knocked open with how he stands between them at the edge.

“What are you thinking?” I ask when his gaze sweeps over me .

“That I need you.” Alex grabs the back of his shirt, stripping it off in one sweep.

Scars on display, and not just the ones I can see with my eyes, but the ones that exist deeper. The pain he’s inflicted and endured.

I pull my dress up to my waist, then I sit, stripping it off completely.

I’m reaching for the knife strapped to my thigh when Alex plants his hand on mine, stopping me from removing it.

“Leave it.” He unbuttons his pants. “I want to think about what you did with that thing while you ride my cock.”

“You’re sick.”

A dark smirk stretches his cheeks. “You have no idea.”

For once, I think he’s right.

Alex strips off his pants, and his hard cock juts out at me. He’s always been somewhat out of reach, so I appreciate how he stands in front of me now, letting me see him. Reaching out, I stroke him base to tip, loving that he lets me.

“Your touch.” He grips his hand over mine, tightening it around his cock. “You have no idea what it does to me.”

“Oh yeah? I guess that’s bound to happen when you go without it for a while.” I drag my teeth over my lower lip. “How long was it before me? You’ve been celibate since the trial that sent you to Montgomery, right?”

Alex pauses, pulling my hand off him so he can grab my thighs and flip us on the bed with me on top.

“Yes,” he answers, lifting his cock under me.

But when he tries to impale me on him, I resist, toying with him for a change. I lower an inch—enough to feel the wide stretch—before pulling back .

“Fuck, Mila.” The veins in his neck tense when I do it again.

“How long?” I ask again, sinking an inch farther this time before denying him.

Alex’s grip on my thighs is painful, but I don’t mind the bite. I need that pain. That tension. His eyes meet mine, and when I try and lift again, he stops me.

“Twenty-two years,” he answers finally, grabbing my hips and shoving me down on his cock.

Sound turns to white noise while my body stretches for him. My ears buzz as I process what he just said.

“What?” I must have heard him wrong because there’s no way Alex was a virgin.

Alex sits up, wrapping his arms around my waist. His cock settles deep, and I’m completely full as he kisses the center of my throat.

“There was nothing but pain before you.” He kisses the mound of one breast, then the other.

“You were—” I stutter when he shifts my hips. “I was your first?”

“And only.”

“Why?” My eyebrows pinch, and even if he’s rock-hard inside me, he doesn’t move.

“I’m fucked-up in more ways than you know, and the last thing I deserve is to feel anything good. But you…” He steals the knife from my thigh, dragging it up over my stomach—my breast—dancing the cool blade on my skin. “I can’t resist you, Mila Bianchi.”

“You have me.” I grab the handle of the knife, pausing it at my neck.

“And you have me, my angel.”

“Technically, I share you with Sigma House.” I brush my fingers over the marks carved into his chest .

“You want to mark me like they did?” Alex hands the knife over, slowly lying back on the bed. The ripples of his abs flex with the movement, and he grins when I grip his cock harder at the sight of him.

“Mark me, Mila. You know you want to.”

He’s right, but it’s wrong. I don’t know if he’s a masochist or just thinks that little of his body at this point that he doesn’t care what else mars him.

“Stop overthinking it,” he says, rubbing my thighs. “I’ve taken marks for things I’ll never wash from my soul. I’ve taken them for other people’s greed. I’ve been scarred by things that mean nothing to me when you are everything. Give me something to look at that reminds me you love me.”

It hurts that he sees himself that way. A body that’s been broken, burned, used, and manipulated. And he wants me to do the same, but for different reasons. He wants something that proves he’s worth more than anything that’s happened to him before this moment.

So I lower the blade to his chest, rocking my hips and riding his cock as I drag the tip of the knife across his skin.

Alex groans as it bites through, but it’s more from pleasure than pain. Maybe I should stop. But I can’t. I rock my hips while drawing a gentle swoop beneath his collarbone. I drag the blade down and the pain mixed with pleasure has his cock stretching me to my limits.

I’m unbearably full, and he’s grabbing my thighs like he’s barely holding on. With a final swoop, I complete the heart, lifting the bloody blade.

His eyes are fire. Black pits that drink me down. And I’m possessed.

I’d like to cut him open and crawl inside. But the best I can do is lift the blade to my tongue and carefully lick his blood off. A tang of metal and Alex.

If I’m his first, then he’ll be mine in other ways.

The first to claim my soul.

The first to get my heart.

Alex’s jaw tenses as I lower the knife. He grabs my wrist, lifting me off him.

“Alex.” I moan, but he flips me over, resisting me when I try to get him to start fucking me again.

I’ve never been so turned on. I’m a puddle, dripping onto the bed as he settles between my legs.

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” His mouth lands on mine, shoving his tongue in like he wants to taste his own blood on me.

When he pulls back, he’s grinning. “Don’t move.”

Alex widens my knees, planting my feet on the bed so that he can flip the knife around. He drives the handle into my pussy, using his other hand to toy with my clit.

“The things I’m going to do to you with this thing.” He drives the knife in again. “You’ll never need to use it again to protect yourself. That’s my job now. But I want you to wear it anyway and think about this.”

He shoves it as deep as he can without cutting himself on the blade and then pulls it out.

“Lick.” He holds the handle up for me, and I do as I’m told, tasting myself on the handle.

His gaze lights as I reach the tip, and this time when he moves between my legs, it’s with the blade pointed at me.

“Do you trust me, Mila?”

I nod, even if maybe I shouldn’t.

And when he pierces the skin of my inner thigh with the knife, I grip the blanket and moan. It hurts as he drags it over my skin. Even so, I’m dripping for him. Begging him to fill me.

Alex draws another line and then sets the knife aside on the bed.

I look down to see the bloody heart leaking down my leg. Alex’s pupils are blown at the sight of it. His eyes are on mine as he leans in and licks my leg clean.

Fuck.

It’s unbearably hot.

My blood stains his lips while he grips his cock in his hand and climbs over me, impaling me in one thrust. When his mouth meets mine, I’m a mess. Devouring every drop of what we’ve done. He drives his tongue deeper and fucks me with his entire body.

His hands grip the sheets beside my head. Tongue thrusting in. Hips rocking waves at my core.

I can’t breathe anything but Alex as I shatter. As his hips pump brutally and steal my soul. He strikes deep, again and again. Until he’s pulsing his climax into me. Sending my eyes rolling into the back of my head. Blood and cum leak between our bodies as my nails dig into his skin.

I’ve found my person, and given what we just did, I don’t know what that says about either of us.