Page 19

DON’T PRETEND

MILA

Any remaining flutters for Marco die the second his cock disappears down some Sigma Sin groupie’s throat. He keeps his eyes on me the entire time, making it impossible to check my irritation.

Shoving off the couch, I decide now is as good a time as ever to do what I came here to do. Marco is clearly occupied, so he won’t be breathing down my neck. And even if I’m over him, I don’t feel like watching some girl give him head when our relationship didn’t make it to orgasms.

It's been so long since I’ve been laid, and I’m starting to feel every second of that tension eating away at me.

I dip out of the den, thankful everyone is too drunk or high to notice. My ponytail pulls on my scalp, adding to the dull throb between my temples, so I tug my hair free.

No one notices as I weave deeper into Sigma House. Declan and Kole have barely left, and it’s fallen into chaos. Barely any guards stand paying attention, and so long as I avoid Alex, no one gives me a second glance when I wander wherever I want.

And right now, Alex is nowhere to be seen.

Unlike the rest of the people partying, he stopped drinking after that first shot, opting to observe instead of participating. He ignored anyone who tried to get his attention, and when the coke came out, he finally disappeared.

Turning another corner, I’m glad my head is clear. The few swigs of vodka when I first arrived have faded, and all I did after that was slowly sip a mixed drink so people wouldn’t wonder why I wasn’t drinking. Being drunk might help my mood, but it won’t help me accomplish what I came to do.

When I reach the end of another hallway, there are two doors. The one on my right is open, revealing a large meeting room that reminds me of an unholy church. Pews line either side, facing a narrow table at the front.

On the back wall, there’s a slab of stone with the Sigma House oath carved into it.

It’s no wonder all the members of the house dull their senses with drugs and sex. They’ve sold their souls, and it’s only a matter of time before the devil comes to collect.

The door on my left is closed. Luckily, when I try the handle, it’s unlocked.

If Declan and Kole were here, I doubt it would be this easy. But Maddox is always high, and Alex is entirely checked out, so clearly neither of them is keeping tabs.

I eye the hallway a final time to make sure no one followed me before slipping inside.

The room is dark, apart from a sliver of moonlight slipping through the window.

I search the darkness for a lamp. With a flick of a switch, the room brightens, and I breathe a sigh of relief at the towering file cabinets.

A fraternity like Sigma House keeps detailed records of its members. Where they go, what they do, and who they report to. If the man who killed Remi was Sigma Sin, there has to be a paper trail to identify him and why he was in Oregon.

Unfortunately, I should have expected it not to be simple. While there are towering rows of file cabinets, they’re labeled with six-digit numbers that mean nothing to me. The sheer number of them is too much to sift through in one night, and it’s too much information to carry in my arms.

Maybe if I can figure out how to decode the numbers, I’ll know where to start.

I cross the office, moving to the desk. The top drawer is locked, and there are no keys anywhere. I spot a ledger on top of it. The worn brown leather cover reminds me of Alex’s journal, and there’s a similar seal embossed on the front.

Inside the ledger are more codes that mean nothing. The pages are broken up into four columns. Some lines have check marks or X’s next to them. Others don’t. Halfway through a page in the middle, the writing stops. There’s nothing after that.

I didn’t expect this to be simple, but it shouldn’t be this impossible either.

Every step closer is twenty steps back.

Skimming my fingers over the maple desk, I slowly circle until I’m on the opposite side. Three knives are displayed at the corner, with the smallest at the top and the largest at the bottom. A plaque at the base reads: From sin we are born, and through sin we are revealed .

Something dark weaves up my nerves as I graze my fingers over the handles. Nothing but evil resides in these blades. I’m sure of it.

As I’m brushing over one of the ivory hilts, the door clicks behind me.

On instinct, I grab the handle of the top blade and spin where I stand. My arm is twisting back before I can think, and I plunge the knife forward through the air. It flies from my grip with perfect aim, lodging itself into the now closed door, right beside Alex’s gorgeously annoying face.

My eyes instantly narrow. Which he must find amusing because his shadowed smirk brightens with the faintest hint of mirth.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people.” I clench my fists.

He tilts his head. “And you shouldn’t keep going places you don’t belong.”

Heat drains from my cheeks.

My eyes widen.

Maybe someone slipped something directly into the vodka bottle because I must be hallucinating.

Either that, or Alex just spoke to me.

My ears swim as I try to process the deep, rough tenor of his tone. Clipped at the end. Choppy and out of practice. Like his voice has been trapped in his chest until this moment when he cut it out.

Alex spoke to me.

“You just said something.” It’s so quiet I barely feel the words escape with my breath.

Like confessing a secret.

He nods, his expression not faltering the slightest as he grabs the knife handle beside his head and pulls the blade free.

My heart hammers as he slowly steps forward .

Alex has never scared me until this very moment. There’s something about the way he’s looking at me like I’m his prey. Like he’ll dislodge his jaw and swallow me whole if I’m not careful.

I swallow hard when he pauses a foot away from me with the knife still firm in his grip. My fingers toy with the blade hidden at my thigh. I’m itching to grab the handle and defend myself if the situation turns.

After all, how well do I really know Alex?

Fascination isn’t friendship. And if anything, all he’s done is prove I shouldn’t trust him.

Alex leans forward, setting the knife on the desk.

It brings his body so close to mine that I can’t breathe without reliving every second I’ve spent thinking about him these past few weeks. His chest is millimeters away from grazing my breasts, and my nipples peak with anticipation.

“So it’s true then—you can speak. You just choose not to?”

He clicks his tongue. “I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t say much of anything.” I huff, knowing it’s rude and not giving a shit in this moment because I’m tired of him fucking with me.

Storms brew in his eyes. A gale drowning the green in gold at my snippy comment. He doesn’t like my attitude.

“I guess I know the secrets of the mysterious Alex Lancaster now,” I continue, purposely taunting him. “So are you just going to stand there staring at me, or are you going to kick me out?”

I’m testing the boundaries of a man I probably shouldn’t. One who has fooled everyone into thinking he can’t speak. That he’s lost his mind. While I stare into his eyes now, seeing perfect clarity .

In the fraternity built from sin, he’s exactly who he always was, even if I didn’t want to see it.

A bad idea.

A red flag.

Dangerous.

Probably lethal, if the warnings I’ve been given have any merit.

“Why would I kick you out?” His tone mocks me.

This time I’m the one gritting my teeth.

I roll my shoulders, standing taller. I’m not short, but I’m still barely at his chin, so I have to crane my neck to fully look up at him.

“Why wouldn’t you kick me out? That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?

Shutting people down. Keeping quiet.” The ripple of tension in the air is thick, but I ignore it.

“Last time I called you out on your shit, you picked me up and carried me out of your room. Here I am, sneaking around places I shouldn’t, figuring out your secret. ”

“You think the fact that I can talk is my secret?” His lips tilt in dark amusement.

“One of them.” I narrow my gaze. “Enough to give you an excuse to throw me out of Sigma House for snooping. At least then you can hate me in peace.”

“Who said I hate you?”

“You don’t have to say it. It’s obvious with how you avoid me.” I wish it didn’t sting to say that out loud.

It takes all my composure to straighten my spine. Not to show weakness for this man when my words already hold enough hurt to make me vulnerable.

Alex leans forward, drifting his fingers up the edge of my long-sleeve shirt. His touch tickles my wrist through the fabric, burning a path until he reaches my shoulder. My throat tightens, and my chest buzzes with the faintest brush of his fingertips at my collarbone.

When he reaches my chin, he traces over my lower lip with such delicacy, his touch is almost a whisper.

“That’s why you think I avoid you?”

His question confuses me, especially considering that’s the only explanation.

“Yes.” My eyebrows pinch as I try not to crumble. “Why else would you avoid me like you have?”

His middle finger lingers on my mouth. I can almost taste him as I breathe him in.

Alex is every bit of oxygen in the room, and still, I can’t get enough of him.

“Because.” He pulls his hand back, denying me.

It’s not an answer to my question. And I think he won’t give me one until he grabs my jaw. He angles my head and steps closer, dipping his mouth to my temple, tickling my cheek with every exhale.

I grip the desk behind me as he presses me against it. But I don’t reach for him. I remember how that went at Montgomery, and I’m not ready for him to shut me down just yet.

One of his legs presses forward, nudging between mine, and like the mindless puppet I am for this man, I widen my knees to bring us closer.

He’s a disaster, and I’m ashes.

But god, do I need him.

Which must be why I find myself finally releasing the desk and daring to reach for the back of his hand. He doesn’t loosen his grip on my chin as I trace my fingers over the smooth, bumpy scars.

I want to figure him out.

This hot and cold .

This villain and safe space.

I skate my hand up his scarred arm, and he tenses. Rage brewing in his gaze. The monster who lives inside every member of Sigma Sin. Although I sense Alex’s has more bite than the others.

And I see him clearly for the first time. Everything he’s been trying to hold back.

“You avoid me because you know I see you.” I pause my roaming hand, answering the question he refuses to. “You might have been a victim, but you weren’t innocent, were you, Alex? You’re just like them.”

A wicked grin stretches his cheeks. It knocks the air from my lungs. Utter amusement and pure maliciousness.

Alex drops his mouth near my ear and whispers, “Don’t pretend that doesn’t interest you.”