Page 36

I’M RIGHT HERE

MILA

The drive to the Lancaster estate is quiet.

Patience sits in the backseat, staring out the window, not a flicker of emotion on her face. The only evidence of her nerves is her fingers tangling with the fuzz on her shirt.

When Alex spoke to her, I didn’t know if she would be angry or surprised, so it shocked me that her emotions spilled out in the form of tears.

In all the time we’ve been friends, I’ve never seen her cry.

Never seen her show much more than anger on her clipped spectrum of emotions.

It was a quick reminder of how important Alex is to her.

Alex doesn’t move his hand from my leg as he drives us across town. One hand grips the steering wheel while the other traces circles on the bare skin of my thigh. It’s not teasing or sexual, but there’s comfort in it.

Looking over at him, I try to read the shadows of his expression in the darkness.

He stood up for me with his sister. When she asked how I felt about him, I almost admitted I need him more than anything.

That he’s the first person to actually see me.

That I’m falling for him so hard and fast, I don’t want to stop.

But I swallowed that down for Patience’s sake, not sure how she would react. And when I stood there frozen in silence, Alex spoke so I wouldn’t have to. He handed her his secret for me .

He defended us .

We haven’t defined our relationship, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Alex and I are becoming something more.

These roots are taking shape, breaking through the soil.

A bud on the verge of blooming. I fight that urge to starve it—to deny it the water it needs to flourish.

But I can’t. Alex reaches into the corners of darkness and finds his way in.

Not just with my body, but with my heart.

As if Alex senses my mind working, his fingers dip between my thighs. He squeezes my leg with a grip meant to settle me. To tell me he sees me, even when he’s not looking.

The comfort of his gesture stretches until we pull to a stop in front of his parents’ house, and the doom I’ve sensed all night trickles back. This is one invitation I shouldn’t have accepted, but there’s no running now.

The Lancaster residence looms like a bad omen in the night.

White brick glows under the moon, brightly cutting through the night. A man stands at the front door, holding it open and waiting while we all sit frozen, staring through the windshield at him.

“Long trip for a dinner,” I say to Patience, trying to calm my nerves.

“My mother wanted to have a chat in person.” She swallows hard, meeting Alex’s gaze through the rearview mirror. “They didn’t tell you I’d be here, I’m guessing?”

He shakes his head.

“Wonderful. More games,” Patience grumbles, climbing out of the car first.

“I feel like I’m stepping into something personal,” I say to Alex, still frozen in my seat.

He leans in, burying his face in my neck and planting a kiss on my collarbone. “I’ll be right there the entire time.”

If anyone is watching, his closeness hides the fact that he’s speaking to me, which means that even if he did break his silence with Patience, he has no intention of doing the same with his parents tonight.

“Why do you want me here?” I ask as he plants another kiss on my neck.

“Because I always want you near me.” Alex pulls back, cupping my jaw to lean in for a kiss.

It’s gentle but tense. Filled with restraint. Chained like the ghosts I imagine wander this place. But even if he might be the one to need comfort right now, he offers it to me.

A soft touch. A sweet caress.

Gentleness that bleeds the grip of the monster he’s holding back.

I rest my palm over the back of his hand and try to offer him the same. “I’m right here.”

He nods, finally pulling back. And when his car door opens, I’m swept with a chill I know has nothing to do with the night.

Alex circles the car to open my door for me, and I take his hand for the lifeline it is as I step out. He wraps an arm around my shoulders while Patience stands at his other side. Her gaze skips between us, and I wonder what she’s thinking about my relationship with her brother .

She was too distracted by him talking to her for her to say anything, but I’m well aware that doesn’t mean she’s going to let this go.

As we approach the front door, a short man with thick eyebrows steps aside to hold the door for us.

“Alex. Patience.” He punctuates each name with a nod before looking at me and pausing.

“Mila,” I offer him my name.

He doesn’t repeat it. “Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster are in the library.”

“The library?” I whisper, stepping inside.

How big is this house if it has a library?

My question is answered as I step through the front door, and the foyer stretches before us. The floors are solid marble, polished to the point of being mirrors.

Maybe a skirt wasn’t the best choice of outfit.

Large portraits hang on the walls, framed in perfectly polished silver frames. The lights are dim and somehow bright enough to see everything. Every overpriced piece of furniture is in perfect condition.

It’s more like a museum than a home, and it’s hard to picture Alex and Patience growing up here.

My sandals have a simple one-inch heel, but they click with every step, echoing off the walls. This is the opposite of my childhood, where I was raised moving from one town to the next in a small trailer. Running wild at the carnival. Dirt and wind and open space.

As large as this place is, there’s nothing open and free about it. The air is nearly suffocating.

When we reach an open set of doors that must be the library, Alex slows his steps. I expect something along the lines of the office at Sigma House, so when I glance through the doors, my breath catches .

The library is three stories tall inside, with books stretching floor to ceiling on the left and right. The final wall is mostly windows, with a fireplace crackling in the corner and more than one set of couches sprinkled throughout.

Alex’s parents are seated on a couch closest to the fire, and the sight of them puts me on edge. My shoulders tense, and my steps all but pause as we step inside. Alex must notice because he drops his hand to my waist and pulls me closer.

Gideon and Ursa Lancaster lift their gazes from their drinks, spotting us standing outside the library. Ursa frowns, but Gideon offers nothing with his expression, reminding me more of his son than I’d like with his cool, unreadable facade as he stands, crossing the room.

A practiced smile stretches his cheeks, faking it for his son’s sake when he’s been clear to me about his feelings.

“Good you could make the trip back for the night,” he says to Patience. “Your mother would like to speak with you. And you can take your…”—he lances me with his stare—“ friend with you… I need to talk to Alex for a moment. Alone.”

My nails dig into my palms, and I hope Alex meant what he said about not leaving my side. But since Patience is here to act as a barrier, maybe he didn’t.

Alex’s cool gaze stays trained on his father while he considers something. It’s Patience who breaks first, taking a step forward.

She places a hand on her brother’s arm. “Mila will be fine. Go talk to Dad.”

Alex reluctantly looks at his sister, and she’s silently pleading with him about something. The dynamic between the four of them is unlike anything I’ve seen. A chess match of emotional warfare, while I navigate how to survive among them for the night.

“We’ll be fine.” Patience looks to me for help. “Right?”

“Right,” I agree, even if I don’t want Alex to leave me at the mercy of his mother. “You can find me when you’re done.”

Alex untangles his arm from my waist but doesn’t turn away immediately. He brushes his fingers through my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

Without words, he says everything in his gaze. He’s asking me if he can go. If I’m okay. If he can trust this situation.

I nod, planting my hands on his chest.

With a final pause, he pulls back.

Patience and I watch him disappear down the hallway with Gideon before she turns to me.

“That was weird,” Patience mutters.

“What was?”

Besides everything, I think. Because this whole situation is awkward.

“I thought they were fine.” Her eyebrows knot. “He never stopped accepting the books, so I guess I just assumed… Maybe I was wrong.”

“Are you talking about the books you’d drop off at Montgomery?”

Patience nods. “It was Dad’s way of communicating with Alex while he was in there. I’m not supposed to know that, but I’m nosy. He’d put messages in the margins. Updates. Sigma Sin bullshit. That kind of thing. At least, that’s my guess.”

“You don’t know?”

“They were coded. Probably for the best. I don’t want to know what they were talking about. ”

If I had to guess, it had to do with the trials. Or maybe things the House had Alex working on when people thought he was out of commission. The web of lies is never-ending.

“Alex seems fine in general though. Which is surprising,” Patience continues. “Apparently, Mom was lying when she said she was worried. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do to get me here.”

Patience’s glare lands on her mother, who is staring at the fire and sipping her drink. She hasn’t bothered to greet us. She simply waits for us to meet her where she is inside the library.

“Maybe she is worried about him?” I say.

After all, when I came here with Alex, she was warmer than she seems now. She looked at Alex with genuine concern.

“Maybe. Alex hasn’t spoken to anyone else but you, right? Not to them?”

“Not that I’m aware of. He said I’m the only one.”

Patience hums, watching me.

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out like that.”

“I should have seen it coming. The way my brother looked at you when you’d come with me to Montgomery was obvious. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.” She shakes her head like she’s trying to loosen a thought from it. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I promise I want what’s best for him.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t think you’d do anything to hurt him.”

But he would.

She doesn’t say that. But I see the worry in her eyes because we both know what he’s capable of .

“I’ll be careful,” I promise. “You’re really okay with it?”

“It’s weird.” Her face pinches. “And gross. But at least he’s not Marco.”

I roll my eyes. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Patience shrugs a shoulder, almost smiling.

“What’s going on with you in LA? You seem happier than when you left. Did you actually take my advice and screw the hot professor?”

“No.” Her eyes widen, and she grabs my arm, angling us away from her mother. “He’s almost twenty years older than me.”

“Good. It’s going to take a grown man to deal with this ice-queen thing you’re always sporting.”

Patience rolls her eyes. “I’m not having this conversation at my parents’ house. Professor Gray is a professional. My professor , nonetheless. That’s it.”

But something about how her cheeks heat and her eyes won’t meet mine tells me she’s either lying to me or herself.

“You know I wouldn’t judge you, right?” I ask, and she finally looks at me. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know.” Her shoulders sag. “And I appreciate it. Even more now that I’ve seen how much you’ve helped Alex. There’s actual life in his eyes again. It’s…”

“A good thing?” I offer.

“Yeah, a good thing.” But her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, so I don’t think that’s what she was going to say.

“Just be careful with him, okay, Mila? I know you’re strong and independent and used to dealing with Sigma Sin, but this isn’t like that.

I love my brother, but he’s got another side to him. ”

I’m more than familiar with it, but I don’t tell her that.

“I’ll be careful,” I promise. “Your friendship is important to me, Patience. I wouldn’t have pursued this if I didn’t think it was worth it. I care about him.”

“I know you do.” Patience frowns. “And it seems like he cares about you too.”

Finally, Patience’s gaze moves to her mother, who is sitting across the room, sipping a martini.

“Guess we should get over there,” I say.

“Yeah,” Patience mumbles. “God forbid we keep Mrs. Lancaster waiting.”