Page 17

PROMISE

MILA

Last night I had three too many shots, and not one of them cured my problems.

After Patience stormed out of Sigma House and left me without a car or a friend to party with, I found comfort at the bottom of the vodka bottle.

At least when Declan returned, he brought Teal with him, and they dragged my drunk ass back to the dorm before I made any bad decisions. Like falling for Marco’s sweet talk or hunting down Alex and the dark-haired beauty he disappeared with.

Why should I care what he does now that he’s out of Montgomery?

I know better than to lose all good sense over a gorgeous man. Especially after what I saw it do to Remi.

“You’ve been MIA lately.” I snag Remi’s hand as she walks past.

Midmorning at the carnival is always slowest, so she’s been aimlessly wandering around between shows.

“I have not.” She smiles, and a blush crawls from her neck to her cheeks.

“You act like I don’t know you. Who’s that guy I saw you talking to last night?”

Her cheeks are almost as red as her hair, drawing out her freckles. “You saw that?”

“His back was to me, but I saw enough. I saw how you smiled at him. Who is he?”

Remi steps closer as Nikki walks past, sneering at her. They’ve been at odds since Remi beat her at cards a few weeks ago, and she lost her favorite ring.

“Just some guy.” Remi lowers her voice. “He lives in the next town over, and he graduated a couple of years ago.”

“How old is he?”

Remi shrugs. “Didn’t ask.”

“And he knows you’re only seventeen?”

“Come on, Mila. We were just talking. Who cares how old I am? I’m old enough to have a conversation.”

A conversation isn’t what worries me. It’s how close he was standing. How easily Remi seems to trust people. How quickly he was able to make her blush.

“Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.” She rolls her eyes, getting annoyed. “I can protect myself.”

She spins a dagger between her fingers as she walks away, irritated with me. And I don’t really blame her since she’s right. She doesn’t need me protecting her.

“What do you think you’re wearing?” My mother’s shrill voice snaps me to attention.

When I turn around, I find her frowning at me.

“Pants.”

“People don’t pay to see you throw knives in your pajamas. They want something nice to look at. ”

“These aren’t pajamas.” They’re skintight leather.

“Go change before the next wave rushes in. Next time I see you, there better be legs on display. Really, Mila, I don’t know when you’ll get it together.” She scoffs. “And fix your makeup while you’re at it. You look too young with a fresh face.”

I am too young.

The comment is on the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back.

Mom doesn’t care that I’m sixteen. The one time I brought it up, she brushed me off with a comment about them being allowed to look but not touch.

And she wonders why we aren’t closer.

“Go. Change.” She gives me a final dismissive glance before turning to berate someone else.

I catch the back of Remi’s head, still disappearing at a distance, as I hurry back to the tent, feeling guilty about my constant pessimism lately.

Maybe her crush is a nice guy. Maybe they’ll fall in love. Maybe he’ll give her a better life, like she’s always pushed for me.

Maybe someday, we’ll actually escape the carnival.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to shake the doubt that lives inside me. I don’t need anyone’s approval.

Not my mother’s.

Not Alex’s.

If I’m not worth their time and attention, then they aren’t worth mine. Remi taught me that.

I didn’t come to Bristal to fall for a guy who comes from the same fraternity as the man who killed Remi. Especially one who only treated me like I mattered when he was locked in a psychiatric ward.

Alex doesn’t get to pick and choose when he gets me. I’m done with him .

“Fuck him.” I throw off my comforter to the side and try to block out the smell of citrus in the air—a smell that’s all in my head.

Alex isn’t worth a second thought when he’s probably still in bed with the girl who dragged him away last night. She was snide to me, but I bet she was sweet with him. Maybe even comforting.

While I’m sharp like the daggers I throw at things.

Climbing out of bed, I walk over to the mirror and pull my hair into a ponytail.

A permanent groove digs into my bare thigh from where I keep a knife holstered every waking minute.

It’s no wonder Alex doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

There’s something seriously wrong with a girl who doesn’t trust leaving her bedroom without a weapon.

I secure the holster on my leg and slip my knife in its place before sliding on a pair of shorts.

When I’m finally dressed, I decide there’s no more avoiding my roommates leaving today, even if I do have a massive hangover.

Violet and Patience rush back and forth, gathering purses and suitcases as I leave my bedroom. Teal’s flight to Paris was first thing this morning, and I barely remember her hugging me goodbye last night when she dropped me off and headed back to Sigma House.

My temples throb as I walk to the makeshift kitchen on the other side of the living space.

The dorm room is set up in quadrants, with a large shared space in the center and a set of adjoining rooms on either side.

Violet’s and Patience’s bedrooms are opposite mine and Teal’s, with Jack-and-Jill bathrooms that connect them.

“Boarding passes?” Patience calls out to Violet.

“On my phone.” Violet waves it in her hand .

Patience nods, turning back to her bag. “I need another phone charger in case I accidentally leave one on campus.”

“Kole’s bringing his computer and always has a hundred cords in that bag, I’m sure he’ll have an extra one you can borrow.”

Patience pauses, her back stiffening at the reminder of Kole going with them.

“I thought he was taking a later flight and meeting us there.” Patience looks up at Violet, who is frowning at the comment.

“No. And even if he was, it doesn’t change that we’re sharing an apartment with him for the summer, so there’s no avoiding him. I thought you were okay with this. We talked about it.”

“Right,” Patience mumbles, shifting her gaze.

“Patience.” Violet’s shoulders deflate. “Promise me everything will be fine.”

“Sure.” Patience’s smile is forced as she turns back to packing. “It will be fine.”

Violet meets my gaze across the room, but I just shake my head. There’s no softening Patience’s feelings toward Kole. Violet is just lucky she’s with him and not Declan, who Patience seems to despise even more.

Violet’s phone starts to ring, and she smiles when she glances at the screen, telling me who it is before she answers.

I walk over to Patience to give Violet her privacy.

“You know you could have just gotten your own apartment if you didn’t want to share with Violet and Kole.”

“And accept the strings my parents waved in front of me if I accepted their money? No thanks. ”

My eyebrows pinch. “I didn’t realize your parents weren’t paying for you to go to LA for the summer.”

Patience zips her bag and looks up at me. “They offered. But they said they would only do it if I met their long list of demands. I decided not going at all would be better than that. I was about to bail on the trip altogether until Kole decided to be a hero.”

“Kole, a hero?” If anyone is a hero, it’s definitely not Kole Christiansen.

He’s cut straight from the fabric of hell as far as Sigma Sin members are concerned. Like Alex, he’s also spent time in a psychiatric ward, but his time there didn’t do him any good. He’s a clinical psychopath, and the only person he shows the slightest bit of affection to is Violet.

“He offered to let me use the second bedroom of the apartment he rented for him and Violet this summer. That way, all I have to cover is food and general expenses while I’m in LA. I’ve got enough stashed away from birthdays and high school graduation presents to cover that part.”

“That’s nice of him.”

“I guess.” Patience’s expression is difficult to read. “It’s definitely unexpected.”

Her gaze moves to Violet, and her expression softens. As hard as this is for her, she’s trying.

“It’s going to be fine, Patience.” I reach out, taking her hand. “You’ll be too busy with your internship to notice Kole at all. I bet you’ll barely even see him with all your research and mind-numbing study sessions.”

“You know, I actually like studying.” Patience frowns.

“Yes, and I love that for you, but I’ll never understand it.” I smile, and it manages to crack the faintest one on her lips as well .

“Can you do me a favor while I’m gone?” She tugs her purse on her shoulder.

“Anything.”

“Can you keep an eye on my brother for me? You’re always at Sigma House anyway, so people won’t think twice about it. I just need someone to make sure he’s okay and not getting involved in anything he shouldn’t. I can’t lose him again.”

“You aren’t going to lose him.” I try to assure her when I really have no idea if that’s the case.

“Alex went back to them.” Patience’s frown deepens. “After everything that happened, he went straight back into that hellhole.”

“Does it matter?” I ask, trying to bury my own feelings and be a good friend. “He’s out in the world again after years at Montgomery. You have your brother back.”

“Only if they don’t break him again.”

I wish I could promise her they won’t, but I have no idea. I don’t know what happened to him the first time.

“Please, Mila.” Patience’s eyebrows furrow. “You have no idea the sway my father can have. Or what they did to him.”

“I thought you didn’t know what they did to him either?”

“I don’t.”

Her pause tells me she might be lying, but I know better than to ask.

“Don’t worry,” I assure her. “I’ll keep an eye out for him and text you all the updates.”

Patience pulls me in for a hug, and it’s so unlike her, my arms hang limp at my sides for a second. When I realize what’s happening, I finally hug her back.

“Be safe, okay?” I whisper, hugging her tighter .

“I will.” She offers a sad smile as she pulls away.

“And remember what I said… Try to have a little fun. Get a tattoo, sneak into a club, fuck a professor. I don’t know. Something. Anything. You deserve it.”

“I’m there to study.” Patience groans.

“Of course you are.” I wink.

Only Patience could spend an entire summer in LA and not enjoy one second of it.

“Car’s here,” Violet yells across the apartment.

I lead Patience to the door and hug Violet goodbye, making them promise to call when they land. When the door closes behind them, the silence is overwhelming.

Familiar and unwanted.