Page 35

THE NEXT THING TO brEAK

ALEX

“The silent treatment, sis, really?” I drop into the chair at Patience’s desk, facing where she sits on her bed.

“You deserve it.” She refuses to look up from her book, even if she’s clearly no longer reading it, with how fast she starts turning the pages. “I’m guessing you’re done meeting with our father ?”

The bite in her tone is venomous.

“I am.”

She huffs, turning the next page even harder. “So is this goodbye before they cart you off to prison?”

“Why would they do that?”

Her fingers freeze, her golden gaze shooting to me. “You made a deal with him?”

“Would you rather I let him send Sigma House after me?”

“Alex, you know how he is. What he’ll do. What he’ll make you promise for keeping this quiet. You”—her eyes dart to her door and around her room like she’s worried someone will hear her—“you killed someone.”

Patience’s innocence still catches me off guard sometimes. She’s not naive or stupid. She knows as well as I do that our father has done much worse. If she paid closer attention, she’d realize I’m not much different. She chooses to ignore it. Except now she can’t.

I should be thankful that up until this point, she thought I could be saved.

At least someone did.

“I figured you’d be relieved.”

Patience closes her book, sliding to the edge of her bed to face me. It lifts her skirt up over her knees, showing off the scars on them, so she quickly adjusts.

“Of course I’m relieved, but I’m not an idiot, Alex. I know whatever Dad’s offering you in exchange for keeping Sigma House in the dark has strings. The minister was one of them.”

“I understand the terms.”

“It’s too much, Alex. Ian didn’t even ? —”

“I know exactly how far he got with you, Patience. What our mother let happen. You don’t need to excuse them.”

There’s a pause, and the room is quiet enough to hear her swallow. She’s fighting back her emotions. Torn between being a good daughter and an understanding sister.

“I’m not excusing anything.” She blinks away the glossy sheen to her eyes. “But do you think siding with Dad will change anything? Do you think if you agree to his plan, he’ll actually protect you? Or stop her? I can handle myself.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“Alex.” My name is a mix of defeat and irritation. “You’re all I have. I can’t lose you. Promise me I won’t lose you. No matter what he asks. No matter what lies he tells. You’re not the person he’s trying to turn you into.”

Always so hopeful. She has no idea how wrong she is.

“You’re my brother.” A tear slips down her cheek, and I wonder if it’s a relief to feel something so intensely that her body can discard it. “Promise me that whatever happens, I won’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.” It shouldn’t feel like a lie .

But it’s not a promise I should be making. Whether Patience likes it or not, our father is helping. If it weren’t for him, she might have lost me already.

Without him, this beast would have already torn me from the inside out.

I don’t tell her any of that. One of us needs to believe things can be better. Maybe if she believes it, someday that will be the case for her.

Or maybe someday, she’ll finally see the truth, and she’ll hate me as much as she hates them.

The moon is full, casting a halo of light over Mila’s dorm. I lean against the car, crossing one ankle over the other, trying to shake the exhaustion seeping to my core. It’s been years since I’ve slept longer than a few hours at a time, and when I do, my mind circles in a loop.

When I was at Montgomery, there wasn’t enough stimulation for it to be an issue. But now that I’m out, the exhaustion is quickly catching up with me.

Especially when Mila won’t stop digging into things that are going to get her into trouble. Snooping at Sigma House, searching records at the library. Mila is looking for answers, and if she’s not careful, she’s going to get them.

Or worse, she’ll draw the wrong person’s attention.

Digging into Sigma House is never as simple as it sounds.

One stone unturned will lead to another.

Declan weeded out the most rotted branches of the House, but there are always others.

Offshoots that extend well outside of Briar Academy.

That’s why Declan wanted Kole in LA this summer.

We need to convince someone else to take the Sigma Sin helm.

While the four of us are keeping a handle on the members living in the house right now, someone needs to become the new face of the fraternity.

And it needs to be someone all members will listen to, past and present.

Even if only because they fear him.

I don’t care what happens so long as this pressure is off my shoulders sooner rather than later. I’m keeping my end of the deal with Declan, but when summer ends, I expect to be done.

A car pulls into the parking spot beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Alex?” My sister’s voice comes from my left, confusion lacing her tone. The car door is still hanging open as she stands frozen, staring at me. “What are you doing here?”

Her gaze moves from me to the dorm, where the universe answers her question for me in the form of Mila walking out.

Her long legs are on full display in her simple white summer dress, showing off her summer tan. The dress is modest on top, with a sweetheart neckline that accentuates her curves. But it’s loose around the thighs to shield the view of the knife she always has strapped there.

Mila could be in sweats and a T-shirt and stun me to silence. But this dress…

The only thing holding me in place is the fact that my sister decided to make an appearance.

Mila pushes her thick brown hair off her shoulders, slowing her pace when she spots Patience standing in the parking lot near me.

“Patience?” Mila’s nose scrunches. “I didn’t know you’d be here this weekend.”

“I came to town to have dinner with the family. I’m taking a flight back to LA later tonight, so I didn’t say anything.” Her gaze moves from Mila to me. “What are you guys—are you?—”

Her questions stutter as she scans Mila’s outfit.

“Oh my god.” All color drains from Patience’s face.

“I can explain.” Mila makes a move to walk over to my sister, but I snag her hand when she’s within reach, stopping her.

Silently answering my sister’s question by lacing my fingers through Mila’s. Her entire body tenses against my side, but if she considers pulling away, she doesn’t.

“When did this happen?” Patience slams the car door, her face unreadable. “ How did this happen?”

“I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.” Mila’s palm is sweaty with her nerves. “When Alex was in Montgomery?—”

“This started while he was in the psychiatric ward?” My sister cuts Mila off.

“It wasn’t like that then.”

“But it is now?”

“It’s just—” Mila closes her eyes, trying to steady her breath. “Everyone was gone. Alex was here. We started spending time together, and it just happened.”

“He’s my brother.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about that. But it doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

“How do you feel about him?” Her eyes narrow.

Under the moonlight, Patience’s white-blonde hair practically glows. The sheen of sweat on her forehead shines. It’s the middle of summer, but she’s wearing jeans and a three-quarter sleeve shirt to hide the scars on her knees and elbows.

Mila glances up at me, her lips purse as she searches for the right answer. And I find myself waiting like Patience, wanting to know the truth. How does Mila feel about me? I know how I feel about her.

Overwhelmed.

Fascinated.

Obsessed.

I’ve spent years training myself to be numb, but I feel everything when it comes to this girl. Good and bad. Mostly bad, at the moment, when Mila hesitates.

I release her hand to tip her chin up, tracing the line of her jaw and focusing on the crease between her eyebrows.

It could be reality sinking in, or that she’s been questioning us since I admitted my continued dedication to the House, but the fact that she can’t come up with a quick answer to Patience’s question makes it impossible to swallow.

Difficult to breathe.

How does she feel about me?

After the trial, I didn’t speak because of the effects of the seizure. Then, I didn’t speak because my silence was a way to protect myself.

Truth can be taken out of context. Words are so easily turned around.

I swallowed my voice, and that was that. It was simple.

But then Mila walked into my life and changed everything.

Which is why, even as she debates her answer, I decide to save her the trouble. For her, I’ll do anything.

“You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.” I brush my thumb up over Mila’s lower lip, dropping my hand and turning to my sister. “If you have any questions about my relationship with Mila, feel free to interrogate me, sis.”

If there was any color left in Patience’s cheeks, it drains. Her mouth slackens as her eyes widen.

Patience blinks, and her eyes gloss over. “You’re?— ”

She shakes her head, cutting herself off as a tear slips out. It’s rare that my sister cries. I’ve only seen it a handful of times in my life, and all of them were before I ended up at Montgomery, because after that, she iced over like an endless winter settling in. But a tear slips free now.

“You’re talking.” Patience surprises me by closing the space between us and throwing herself at me.

She’s not affectionate, so it takes a moment to process her thin arms wrapping around my shoulders. Her chest shakes with the sob she can’t hold in.

I wrap one arm around her, but my other won’t let go of Mila.

I can’t.

Not now, when it feels like everything is on the verge of coming apart. My silence has kept both of them safe all these years, but the truth is slowly spilling out.

What will be the next thing to break?

What if I lose control?

Patience steps back, wiping her hands over her wet cheeks and pulling herself together. She straightens her spine and clears her throat. Relief and fear churn in her gaze.

“You’re talking,” Patience repeats.

This time, when her voice cracks, it’s not followed by tears.

I nod.

“I didn’t even know if you could speak after what they did.”

“No one knew,” I say. “They still don’t.”

Patience’s eyes dart between me and Mila. “You’re only talking to her?”

I nod again .

“And you’re…” Patience’s eyes move to our clasped hands. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Alex?”

“I’m not taking advantage of him if that’s what you’re worried about.” This time it’s Mila on the defense.

Patience’s gaze snaps up to mine. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I’m fine.” My teeth clench.

I already know my sister’s view of me without needing her to explain it in front of Mila.

“Okay.” Patience’s tone doesn’t match her expression, but she leaves it at that. “I guess we’re all going to dinner then? Do Mom and Dad know she’ll be there?”

“No.”

Patience drags her teeth over her lower lip, knowing our parents well enough to understand why I wouldn’t tell them, as well as the potential fallout.

“I can stay here if I’m interrupting. It seems like it might be a family thing.” Mila tries to pull away, but I don’t let her. “I doubt your parents even want me there, Alex. I wasn’t invited.”

“Don’t worry.” Patience sighs, responding for me. “They don’t want me there either. And I got an invitation.”

“Besides.” I tip Mila’s chin up. “I want you there.”

Mila nods, even as her eyebrows knit with worry.

“So, this is real then?” Patience asks. “You two are actually happening.”

“We are,” Mila answers for both of us.

And unlike the pause that ripped me apart when Patience asked Mila how she feels about me, Mila answers this time with complete surety.

Patience shakes her head, circling my car to climb in. “And to think, I was going to stay in LA and skip this dinner.”