Page 98 of As The Shifter World Turns

98

FINDING OUR BALANCE

Martin

“Neil,” I climbed into the bed beside him.

We had both taken the afternoon off for a little time together. Charlie was with Daire for the day and both of our schedules were light. The original plan was lunch and possibly some furniture shopping. That plan ended the second I walked in the apartment door and saw Neil standing there, hair damp, a towel wrapped around him.

The afternoon quickly morphed into a fill-my-naked-mate-with-my-cock session followed by a nap. But now it was time for me to get Toby.

“You up for another round?” Neil’s hand came up to my cheek, his eyes still sleepy, his smile so sweet.

“Always.” I pressed a kiss to his lips. “But it’s time for me to pick up Toby. I didn’t want you to wake up and find me gone.”

“I’m up. I can come with you.” He yawned and righted himself. “Do I have five minutes?”

“I can wait. But don’t think you have to.” I could see the way my words stung. I hadn’t meant them like it sounded… like he wasn’t Toby's father so he had no real role in his life. And maybe that wasn’t even what he heard either, but whatever it was, it hurt. “I’d love you to if you don’t mind not finishing your nap.”

It was the best I could do. Neil and I had had a pretty in depth conversation about the whole parenting thing. It was such a weird mix with Charlie having four fathers and Toby being my late mate’s son.

And I still wasn’t sure we were doing what was best for Charlie. It was his father’s wishes, but my gut said we needed to buy a house together and live as one huge family commune style at some point. Where he had one bedroom, one kitchen, and just lots of family to love him. But we’d decided to move into the house Daire had bought, so at least we’d all be in the same building.

“I’ll hurry.” He climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom. He came out only a couple minutes later and threw on some clothes and we were out the door.

We arrived in the car line in plenty of time to wait and wait some more. There were days that I went in to pick him up, but Toby had informed me his friends all got to use the car line and I was trying to be more cognizant of that.

He was growing up so fast. And really, I’d tried to keep him young longer than I should've. I’d been so fearful that losing his father would make him grow up too quickly that I over compensated.

Parenting was hard.

“Car line has to be a punishment for parents from their past lives,” Neil mused from the seat beside me. “There are all these rules, but also so many people who think they’re above them. And then of course there is the parent judgment parade.” He tilted his head to the parents who parked their cars and met their child at the grass with big hugs and glares of I’m better than you pointed at everyone in their vehicles. Good times.

“It’s not as bad as the bus.” Toby took the bus for a grand total of two weeks. In that short time he had one kid puke on him, another put gum in his hair, had a breakdown on the side of the road, and one kid informed him about fisting. I would be happy if he never saw the inside of a school bus again.

“I never took the bus,” Neil said.

The car in front of me moved up and before I could get the foot off the gas, the person behind me honked their horn.

“Car line is ruthless.” He was not wrong.

Toby was out, front and center when we pulled up, running over to us with a smile across his face.

“Hey, Dad. Hey, Neil.” He put his backpack beside him and started to buckle his belt. Once again the car behind me honked, but they could keep doing it. I wasn’t moving until my son was safe and buckled.

“Ready, Dad.”

I drove off, slower than necessary because fuck the person behind us. They needed to learn some patience.

“Today at lunch we were all talking about the new superhero movie.”

“I heard that’s going to be good. Maybe your father and I can take you this weekend.” I loved how Neil was more comfortable going places. I would never push him, but seeing him starting to push himself was great.

“I was thinking maybe I could go with Tommy, Ryan, Joel, Joel, and Max.” This was the first time Toby had asked me to do things with his friends and my instinct was to just say yes, but something about the way he asked had me wondering if he was leaving something out .

“Whose parent is bringing you? One of the Joels?” His poor teacher had three of them this year. I couldn’t even imagine the number of issues that had caused.

“That’s the thing Dad. It would just be us. I’m ten now.” Which was still not legally old enough to stay home alone in our state. But yet he thought it was old enough to go to the movies with his friends. But also… he was talking about friends.

“I don’t feel comfortable with that.” I told him honestly. I turned onto the main drag. “Did you want me to stop for a snack along the way home?” Because yes, I was planning to use fast food french fries as a way to deflect from my telling him he couldn’t go.

“Yes,” he snapped. “You know I do. But I also want to go to the movies. Tell him, TD. Tell him that you used to go at my age.”

Shit. Now he was trying to put Neil in the middle which wasn’t fair to him. Not. At. All.

“Even if Neil went when he was still in diapers, that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand. I said no and that’s all there is to it. You’re too young to be there without a grown-up.”

“How am I ever going to grow up if you treat me like a baby that’s going to break all the time, Dad?”

We reached the drive-thru and it gave us a break from the conversation as I ordered him a small fries.

“Thanks,” he said, snatching them from me. “I’m sorry I yelled. It’s just the guys get to do all these cool things and I don’t.”

“I didn’t even know you wanted to.” Why were car conversations so much easier than dinner table ones?

“I did, but they never asked me. And today they asked. I won’t get into trouble. I’ll just watch the movie and eat popcorn and that’s it.”

I wish I knew more about these boys. Heck, one of them could be a chain smoker, another a meth dealer, and another a bank robber. I mean ,the odds of any of those were slim, but sneaking a cigarette or stealing a parent’s beer? Not so unusual. Especially if they were given as much freedom as my son seemed to think they were.

“It’s not only you I worry about.”

“I’m not going to go with a stranger for candy,” he sighed.

My mind hadn’t even gone there, but now that he mentioned it, it did and a few other dark places.

“Neil, can you say something?” Toby asked. “I’ll even give you a fry.”

“You won’t like what I have to say, Toby. I think you’re too young. I wouldn’t want you there without a grown-up in the same theater.”

“What if you came but you didn’t come in with us? Like you just sat in the back like on a date or something.” Toby leaned forward and I almost scolded him until I saw he was paying his fry debt .

“I don’t know. Theaters… I don’t know.” Poor Neil was really on the spot. He wasn’t a fan of sitting in a dark theater with people he didn’t know.

“Oh,” Toby said. “I didn’t think about that.” He was far more observant than I realized. “Never mind. I’ll tell them we already had plans I forgot about.”

The compassion my son had never failed to bowl me over.

“No. I would like to go. I agree if your dad does. It was sort of my idea in the beginning, I was thinking we’d go at a weird time so there'd be fewer people at the theater. This will work.”

“I’ll talk to Neil, just the two of us as your parents, and we’ll get back to you, but I think we can work something out.” Worst case scenario I could go and drag Daire with me. Neil didn’t need to be uncomfortable so my son could feel a bit of freedom.

“I like that you said you’re my parents,” Toby told us. “I liked it a lot.”

I did too.