Page 76 of As The Shifter World Turns

76

TEST TIME

Ryder

Poor Ivor was exhausted—beyond exhausted. I got it. I did. Taking the time to sleep was difficult for me too, but I wasn’t the one who had given birth. He had the dual job of recovering and being a worried parent and honestly just the parent part was intense. I couldn't imagine managing it while at the same time healing.

Ivor was finally sleeping after a pretty stressful day. Dyani had been cluster feeding and would sleep for only a few minutes before waking up to eat some more. The doctor said it was a great sign. And it was but I needed my mate to be okay too.

Dyani woke in her crib, but unlike the past few times she wasn’t crying for her dad’s milk.

“Hello, sweet girl,” I whispered as I picked her up. “Let’s get you changed.”

I brought her to the changing table and got her cleaned up, singing to her to keep her occupied. Ivor needed the sleep and if I could even buy him ten extra minutes, I planned to do just that.

After she was changed, she started to make little noises. Happy noises, but noises nonetheless. “Dyani, how about we go outside?”

I scribbled on the dry erase board that now lived on our fridge that we were going to the roof for some air.

The temperature was perfect when we arrived, not too hot or cold and with the sun beginning to set, it was perfect to hang out and just chill. We went over to the “cozy chair” as I called it and sat down.

“This is one of my favorite places. The first time I ever saw your father was here.” Daire had one of his shindigs on the roof and I was having a pity party for one knowing that the reason my ex wasn’t there was because he was off being naked and sweaty with not me. Gods, what a fool I’d been.

“He was so handsome. He is so handsome,” I corrected. “And right away I saw how special he was. Your father, that’s me, was so dumb back then. I made some really stinky choices. I hope you take after your daddy and not me. He’s so strong and brave. Even when things were not working out well for him financially, he never gave up. Not once.”

And he could have. Shit, I would have. It didn’t help that his parents sucked. Not that I’d tell Dyani that. I was leaving the grandparents to him. They were still his parents.

“And he never gave up on me either. Even when I wasn’t the alpha he needed. I’m going to be, though. I won’t let myself slip back to that man. He deserves better and so do you.”

She reached for my face. “You deserve everything, sweet girl.” I held her close, giving her raspberries on her belly. “Everything.”

She giggled.

I loved that sound. It was a new one for her. The books said we wouldn't hear it for a while longer, but my little daughter was turning out to be a genius. Not that I was biased or anything

“I don’t blame you for being so happy about having a daddy as magnificent as yours.” I wiggled my nose against hers. “There’s not a day I wake up that I don’t wonder if I’m in a dream. Because really… how could I be so lucky as to have an amazing mate and such a sweet baby girl?”

I settled her into my arms. “I might not deserve him and the journey here wasn’t easy, but I wouldn’t change a single thing because it brought me here… to this roof… with you.”

“What about me?” I turned around to see my sexy mate.

“And you.” I smiled brightly. “We wanted to let you sleep.”

“Sounded like you were telling tales.” He came around and sat in the chair beside me, “And for the record, I wouldn't change a single thing either.”

“Not even the way I snore all night?” I teased.

“I would change one thing.” He laughed, Dyani giggling with him.

Best. Sound. Ever.

Neil

“Anything else today?” The clerk asked, smacking her gum. She’d just rung up four different types of pregnancy tests and honestly, I appreciated her not asking about them or making a comment of some kind. But really… this was an un usual day for me and for her, I was probably the twenty ninth person of the day buying a pregnancy test.

Maybe I was the only one buying the variety I had on the counter, but chances were that none of this was as awkward for her as it was for me.

“I think so, yes.” I took my card out of my wallet and swiped it. A few seconds later she was handing me my bag with a receipt a mile and a half long, on the bottom a coupon for prenatal vitamins.

Was I going to need them? I’d been feeling shitty for a couple of days and if I was pregnant, it was my own damn fault. I knew where babies came from and it wasn’t the stork.

Martin was going to be mad. And right he should. He had a son, one whom he loved more than anything. A son given to him by his mate—the man he devoted his life to. If there was any justice in the world, he’d still be with him. But he wasn’t and now he was with me… and possibly our baby.

I hurried home and straight to the bathroom. Each and every one of the tests told me to wait until the first pee of the morning.

That wasn’t going to happen.

Waiting might just kill me. I needed to know and know before I saw Martin again. I couldn’t be in the same room with him and not blurt it out. It just wasn’t in me.

I set the sticks on the back of the toilet and got the specimen ready, so many things flowing through my mind. Could I afford a baby? Would it ruin Martin’s life for me to have our child? What about Toby?

Once the tests were ready, I started to count.

“One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi.” I could set my timer, but this was something to distract me as I waited for the three minutes to lapse.

When it was finally time to look, it took all my strength to reach for the first test.

“Negative.”

I grabbed the second, the third, the fourth—all of them said the same thing.

I wasn’t pregnant. I should’ve been jumping up and down for joy. I was not ready to be pregnant.

Except, the negatives and the one “not pregnant” didn’t make me feel happy or relieved. If anything it made me sad.

I threw them in the trash and grabbed my keys. I was going to drown my sorrows in chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

Not that there was any reason to be sad in the first place. This was a good thing. I wasn’t ready to be a father, I didn’t have a mate, and the man I was in love with already had his family.

I raced out my apartment door and to the main entrance and nearly ran straight into a baby stroller. Dyani.

“Sorry, Ivor,” I mumbled, not looking up.

“Archer, but no worries. ”

I looked up to see Archer standing there with his sweet Elune.

“Sorry. I didn’t look. I can tell you two apart.” I slipped my keys in my pocket.

“Because I’m the handsome one?” Ivor came down the hallway with his buggy, Dyani in a wrap, making the stroller redundant.

“Yeah, that.” I looked between the two of them, both so happy with their darling babies. “I’ll see you later, I have an appointment at the creamery.”

“Ice cream?” Ivor asked and I nodded. “That’s where we are going. Want some company?”

“I’d love some.”

The five of us walked down to the shop and I treated them to their favorite icy confections.

Elune was old enough to have a small bit. Dyani wasn’t quite there, but Ivor snuck her a smidge nonetheless.

“It just wouldn’t be kind not to,” Ivor explained.

“No, I supposed it wouldn’t.” I shoved a spoonful into my mouth before I said something stupid.

I want to have a sweet babe to sneak ice cream to.

How did you know you were ready for a baby?

Or the most probable: I want to be a dad.

Because right now, that desire was taking over my entire being: I wanted to be a dad.