Page 113 of As The Shifter World Turns

113

JUGGLING AND DROPPING ALL THE BALLS

Neil

“TD! TD!” The voice was coming from a great distance and I ignored it because I’d just fallen asleep. Go away , I said in my head. I needed quiet but the voice persisted. “Neil, Charlie’s awake. I changed his diaper but I have to get ready for school.”

“What?” I shot up. My older son was looking after my younger one while I was lounging in bed. Not exactly lounging but scrounging a few minutes of much-needed sleep.

Everyone and everything was discombobulated when I told Martin to leave. It was the best decision. The only decision that worked as we needed space and time in the hope that we could repair our relationship.

But Martin was living some distance away and was often late to pick up Toby for school. So, Nate or Daire had taken on the task of getting him there. It was either that or me getting a rideshare to school and back and taking Charlie with me. And I did that some days if my downstairs neighbors were busy.

“Sweetheart, that was so kind of you helping your little brother.”

As I said that, I repeated a mantra in my head that families can be made, and are not necessarily born. Found families . Charlie was my adored son, gifted to me under horrific circumstances, while Toby was my beloved step-son from a mate I was now separated from. Found family , I said once more.

“But next time, wake me. You shouldn’t have to do that. It’s my job.”

“It’s cool. He’s my little bro.”

“I love you,” I yelled at his retreating back.

“Back at you, TD. ”

Third Dad. I adored the title and hoped I’d never lose it. No matter what happened, I would always consider Toby my son.

After putting Charlie in his chair, I messaged Martin to make sure he was going to collect Toby.

Getting in the car now.

One less thing I had to remember but it was a long list. I grabbed the cereal Toby liked and got out the milk as he raced into the kitchen.

“TD, what would you think about Dad moving into 3B in the manor?” He paused and held up his hand. “Just think. Dad would never be late to take me to school.” That was debatable but if Martin was in 3B, Toby could run over and wake him up. “And he could take Charlie sometimes.”

Charlie basically lived with me and Toby. Daire and Nate spent as much time with him as they could, and while he had naps there, it was rare for him to spend the night. With Martin not living close by, his time with the kids was reduced and when Toby stayed with him, Charlie was with me. My estranged mate’s new place wasn’t suitable for a toddler—or so Martin had told me.

“Is this your idea or your dad’s?” I regretted saying that as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Instead of answering his question, I made it awkward for him and that was wrong. “Sorry, sweetheart. What I meant to say was, ‘I’d need to think about it.’”

The last thing I wanted was to put Toby in the middle of any battle I was having with his dad. “Is that something you’d like?”

“It is. I’d see more of him and so would Charlie and it’d be easier for both you and Dad.”

He had a point, but the idea of my estranged mate living upstairs from my office was something I’d rejected when we parted initially. Archer and family were still in 2B, though they were closing on their new house next door to the manor any day now.

I had to overlook my own misgivings and think of the family as a whole. Toby and Charlie needed their dad. “How about I talk to Dad after he takes you to school.”

Toby flung his arms around me. “Love you, TD.”

“As I love you, my wise and clever oldest son.”

When Toby’s phone beeped letting him know Martin was out front, I hoisted Charlie onto my hip and we all went downstairs.

“Are you busy after you drop Toby off?”

“No,” my mate replied. “I have a job this evening but I’m free to pick Toby up after school.”

“3B, Dad. Maybe you can live in 3B.”

Of course, Toby couldn’t keep a secret.

“I said we’d think about it but I need your dad’s input.” Martin caught my eye. The pain reflected there probably mirrored my own. We were broken and I didn’t know how to put us back together. Was it even possible?

In the twenty minutes Martin was gone, I messaged Daire, making sure he hadn’t rented 3B. He hadn’t. I made a fresh batch of coffee and waited for my mate.

He knocked on the door instead of using his key. That was something we’d agreed to in the first week after he walked in on me with a towel wrapped around my hips dancing in the kitchen. In the past, it probably would have led to sex.

I shoved a mug of coffee at my mate. “If you’re going to live next door, we have to establish some ground rules.”

“Such as?” He took a sip of coffee and his damned phone beeped. He took it out but after I glowered at him, he stuck it back in his pocket.

“If Toby is going between this house and the manor, he can do it by himself during the day but at night, one of us has to be with him.”

Even though the incident with Len was a while ago, I was still skittish. Daire hadn't got around to putting in the gate between the two properties so we had to go on the sidewalk.

“And while 2A is my office, you can’t just waltz in unannounced.”

“You’re a real hard-ass, Neil.”

I had to be.

Ryder

Ivor’s foot was tapping against the floor as we waited in the doctor’s office. “Babe, it’ll be fine,” I assured him.

“How can you say that?” he shrieked. “You have cancer, Ryder.”

And there it was. The big C word that no one wanted. “I know.” My reply was more terse than I intended but I thought I was allowed a little leeway ‘cause I was the one with fucking cancer.

I thought back to how we got here. I’d noticed what I thought was a freckle on my arm. But it got bigger, darker, and had an irregular shape. I didn't go out in the sun much so I wasn’t worried until one Friday night on the manor roof, Nate noticed it and said I should get it checked out. That led to an immediate biopsy, a skin cancer diagnosis and a removal of a big chunk of flesh from my arm.

We were waiting to hear if I needed chemo or what. All I could think of was updating my will and wondering how Ivor would cope if I died.

Along with the big C came the big D word and it was scary. I was young and never expected to be confronted with my death for decades. That was probably the way most people looked at their life until it went ass up and they were forced into a new reality.

My stag was completely freaked, and while he didn’t understand cancer, instinct told him we were in danger. As well as keeping my emotions under control, I had to soothe Ivor’s anxiety and my beast.

We’d left Dyani with Archer, figuring she'd be bored and we’d need time alone after hearing what the doc had to say. But along with my mate, I needed my little girl and wished she was here so I could cuddle her.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

The doctor put on his reading glasses and studied the computer screen. I wanted to shake him or shove him out of the way so I could read what he was reading.

“Good news!”

I’m not going to die. Someone up there was looking out for me.

Ivor leaped up. “You got it all?”

The doc replied in a calmer tone than my mate, which wasn’t surprising. “No. It has spread but we’re confident we can get rid of it with radiation therapy five days a week. Each session will be about ten minutes.”

It wasn’t the best news but it was pretty great and Ivor fell into my arms. His shoulders shook and I inhaled his aroma. Ivor and our daughter were all I wanted and I’d been given a reprieve. With my eyes closed, I concentrated on the noises from the waiting room, cars on the road and drilling coming from the parking lot. They were all signs of life. “I love you Ivor.”

“Love you too,” he mumbled as he sat down.

I addressed the doctor. “Ten minutes? That’s great. I can go back to work straight afterward.”

“I can’t predict how you’ll react, Ryder because everyone is different. But I suspect you’re going to be tired.”

“Oh.”

Ivor jumped in. “We can get someone to help run the app business for the next few months. Or I’ll do it and we find someone to replace me.”

“That won’t be necessary. I can do this.”