Page 48 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
I t was finally over. Jane and Mr. Bingley were gone to Netherfield. The guests had all left, including Mr. Darcy. Mrs. Bennet insisted on everyone sitting in the drawing room to talk over her triumph. “It was at least as good as Mary’s wedding, was it not, brother?” she began.
Mr. Gardiner smiled. “It was every bit as good; no one could doubt it.”
“For Mr. Bingley is a very wealthy man, and things must be done right!” Mrs. Bennet continued.
“There could be no complaint about the arrangements,” Mrs. Gardiner put in. “And Jane looked positively angelic!”
“Did you see his face as she approached him? Mr. Bingley’s, I mean!”
Kitty and Lydia could have no interest in such a conversation; they left to go upstairs. Elizabeth very much wished she could do the same, but it would be rude to abandon the Gardiners. The conversation went on and on, with Mrs. Bennet soliciting compliments from everyone present.
Mrs. Bennet was finally satisfied, and the dialogue could become more general. Elizabeth heard little of it, until she heard her name.
“What shall you do now, Lizzy? Do you wish to come back to London with us?”
She looked up. “I am grateful for the invitation, Aunt, but I think not. I am to visit Mary in just a few weeks, and that will content me for entertainment.”
“Oh! You must write to tell me of her arrangements, Lizzy. I am most curious to learn about her life as a parson’s wife, subject to the whims of that – what was her name?”
“Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”
“Yes, that was it. I imagine she is a rather difficult patron.”
“Mary has proven to be an excellent correspondent, and she says that she is quite content in her situation, so I am certain that I shall have only good news to impart to you.”
“I am glad to hear it. She made a rational decision when she accepted Mr. Collins. It was not a love match, of course, which would have been preferable, but it was very sensible, and she obliged the whole family by doing so.”
“Yes; sensible and rational,” Elizabeth agreed, thinking that she could learn to hate those words.
***
The Gardiners left soon after, and with their departure, Longbourn felt dark and dismal. With the wedding over and Jane gone, it seemed there was little now to anticipate; indeed, the house seemed positively funereal after the excitement of the wedding.
Happily, Jane and Mr. Bingley visited two days after the wedding. They were vastly content, there could be no doubt; both their faces positively glowed. The newlyweds sat together, hand-in-hand, beaming at one another.
Jane hugged Elizabeth, saying, “Oh! Marriage is wonderful, Lizzy!” She laughed as she spoke.
Elizabeth laughed with her. “It certainly seems to agree with you, Jane.”
“And with me as well, sister Elizabeth!” Mr. Bingley enthused.
Elizabeth made a determined effort to shut down her envy.
She loved Jane, of course, and would in no way want to diminish her joy; she only wished she might someday have that for herself.
She had always hoped to marry for love; nay, she believed that she would.
She knew herself to be capable of a deep, abiding love, but she had never expected to experience such a love and have it destined to remain forever unrequited and unfulfilled.
She needed guidance, or at least someone to talk with about this. It could not be Jane, of course; such a discussion could only make Jane feel guilty for her own happiness. Not her parents, not her younger sisters. Perhaps Charlotte?
***
“Have you given up on him entirely, Eliza?”
“I have, of course; there is no possibility of him offering for me. He feels something for me, of this I am certain, but he is in London even now, searching for a bride.”
“He will never find another Elizabeth Bennet!” Charlotte declared.
Elizabeth chuckled weakly. “No, but he will find a young lady who is beautiful, accomplished, and well-dowered. That will suffice him.”
“And if that suffices, does that not prove that he is not a good match for you? How could you be content with someone who seeks no further than looks, useless accomplishments, and wealth?”
“I do not know, Charlotte. I cannot recall who said it, but it is something like this: the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. I must accept my situation, I must learn to live with it, and I must believe that I will recover from this and learn to love someone else.”
Practical Charlotte hesitated before speaking again. “Eliza, at some point you must marry, even if there is not love. You know this, do you not?”
“I suppose I do, as my mother tells me often enough. Jane says that Charles plans to open Bingley House this spring for a few months, and I am to go to them. I hope that between my visit to Mary and subsequent visit to London, I may begin to forget.”
Charlotte sighed. “I thought my own situation pitiable enough, but I fear yours may be worse. But I believe all is not lost. Until he is actually married, there is still hope that he will come to his senses.”