Page 14 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

E lizabeth ran out the back kitchen door to find her sister in the garden, deadheading the roses. “Jane! Jane!”

“What is it, Lizzy?” Jane straightened up and adjusted her bonnet, which had fallen to the left.

“You will never believe it.”

“I imagine that I will come to believe it, whatever it may be,” Jane replied, calmly.

“Look. Look at this letter I just got from Aunt Madeleine.”

Jane calmly set down her secateurs, while Elizabeth all but danced in her impatience. Finally, Jane took the letter and read.

Dear Lizzy,

First, I must tell you that the children miss you almost as much as I do! I wish that you would consider living with us permanently, but I know full well that your Papa would never permit it.

Second, I am rather puzzled by something. Henry tells me that you have a new neighbour by the name of Fitzwilliam Darcy. I must confess that I know a Fitzwilliam Darcy, and it is an unusual enough name that I cannot believe there are two of them!

The Fitzwilliam Darcy I know – and I should say know of , as I have never spoken to him and never expect to – is the master of a very large estate in Derbyshire called Pemberley.

You will recall, of course, that I grew up in Derbyshire, and Pemberley is well-known to all of us.

Fitzwilliam Darcy is the nephew of the Earl of Matlock, and is extremely wealthy and much sought-after.

I cannot begin to understand what such a man might be doing in Meryton, and dressed more like a businessman than a man of wealth and consequence!

What think you of this, Lizzy? It seems a very great mystery!

All my love,

Aunt Madeleine

“I can hardly believe it!” Jane cried, her gardening now forgotten.

“Ha! I told you that you would never believe it!” her sister crowed.

The two sisters looked at one another. “He’s wealthy,” Jane said, at last.

“But is he married?” Elizabeth asked.

“Papa will know,” they said together, and ran into the house.

***

“How could you not tell us?” Elizabeth demanded, waving Mrs. Gardiner’s letter in her father’s face.

“Tell you what?”

“About Mr. Darcy!”

“Oh.” Seeing the letter in Elizabeth’s hand, Mr. Bennet guessed at once what must have happened; and a quick perusal of the letter that Elizabeth thrust under his nose confirmed it. “Yes, he is that Fitzwilliam Darcy, though I did not suspect him to be quite so well-known.”

“Mama cannot possibly know, or she would not designate him for Mary,” Jane said.

“She does not know, nor can she.”

“But why does he dress like that?” Elizabeth asked. “He looked elegant at the assembly, but it was still not the sort of fit and fabric that a gentleman of wealth would wear.”

Mr. Bennet chuckled. “His valet stayed behind to tend to an invalid mother and Mr. Darcy ended up traveling in disguise, though I suspect he did not realise it at the time. Doubtless he was surprised to discover that he was taken for a man of business here in Meryton, and he has learnt to enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it? But why?” asked Jane.

It was Elizabeth who answered. “Because he is not married, and at present he is happy to not be pursued by young ladies. That is it, is it not, Papa?”

“It is, and he has sworn me to secrecy. He does not want it known that he is a landed gentleman of great wealth.”

“So not Mr. Bingley’s man of business at all,” Jane said.

“No, indeed. He is Mr. Bingley’s friend, and came here at Mr. Bingley’s request.”

“Does it not seem rather dishonest, Papa?” Elizabeth asked, her face troubled.

“It is, rather, but it is not hurting anyone, is it?”

“I suppose not.”

“Lizzy, Jane, you cannot share this information with anyone, and it would be best if he did not know that you had learnt the truth of his identity. Lizzy, I believe that he is attracted to you. He would be a fine match for you, but I fear he is destined to marry a young lady of fortune and breeding. Guard your heart, my girl!”

“I understand, Papa.”

Both girls turned and headed for the door, but Mr. Bennet stopped them.

“While you are here, you may as well read this.” He reached into his desk drawer and withdrew the letter from Mr. Collins. “Read it aloud, Lizzy.”

His daughter complied, her voice rising in disbelief as she did so.

Dear Sir,

The disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late honoured father always gave me much uneasiness; and, since I have had the misfortune to lose him, I have frequently wished to heal the breach: but, for some time, I was kept back by my own doubts, fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with anyone with whom it had always pleased him to be at variance.

My mind, however, is now made up on the subject; for, having received ordination at Easter, I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, whose bounty and beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish.

As a clergyman, moreover, I feel it my duty to promote and establish the blessing of peace in all families within the reach of my influence; and on these grounds I flatter myself that my present overtures of good-will are highly commendable, and that the circumstance of my being next in the entail of Longbourn estate will be kindly overlooked on your side, and not lead you to reject the offered olive branch.

I cannot be otherwise than concerned at being the means of injuring your amiable daughters, and beg leave to apologise for it, as well as to assure you of my readiness to make them every possible amends; but of this hereafter.

If you should have no objection to receive me into your house, I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family, Monday, November 18th, by four o’clock, and shall probably trespass on your hospitality till the Saturday se’nnight following, which I can do without any inconvenience, as Lady Catherine is far from objecting to my occasional absence on a Sunday, provided that some other clergyman is engaged to do the duty of the day.

I remain, dear sir, with respectful compliments to your lady and daughters, your well-wisher and friend,

William Collins

“It is an odd letter, I think, but he clearly means well,” said Jane, preferring to think the best of this unknown cousin.

“Perhaps he is better in person than this letter would indicate,” Elizabeth said. But then she chuckled and added, “But you and I both doubt it, do we not, Papa?”

“We do, indeed. I should like to think that he will be amusing, but I suspect the amusement will wear off quickly, and then we shall find him quite tiresome.”

“Does Mama know?” Jane asked.

“No, but I suppose I should tell her directly.” With that, Mr. Bennet rose to his feet, took the letter from Elizabeth and went to find Mrs. Bennet, with Jane and Elizabeth trailing behind.

Her reaction was much as he had predicted to Mr. Darcy.

She exclaimed over the unfairness of the entail and the vileness of any man who would wish to claim an estate that was not rightfully his.

Her husband left the room after listening for all of one minute, but her two eldest daughters remained to comfort her.

“Mama, let us think this through,” Elizabeth said, taking her mother’s hands in her own. “We are being given an opportunity to become known to him; if his opinion of us is favourable, it is more likely that he will be kind to us in the event that – well, in the event that we need his kindness.”

“You mean in the event of your father’s death!” Mrs. Bennet exclaimed.

“Yes, I do mean that, Mama.”

“And he evidently wishes to marry one of us, Mama. Do not forget that,” Jane added.

“You think so?” This intelligence caused Mrs. Bennet to stare up at Jane.

“Yes, read this again. ‘I cannot be otherwise than concerned at being the means of injuring your amiable daughters, and beg leave to apologise for it, as well as to assure you of my readiness to make them every possible amends; but of this hereafter.’ This can mean nothing other than an intent to make one of us his wife.”

“Hmph. Well, I suppose there is nothing for it other than to put our best foot forward. He cannot have you, Jane, as I am saving you for Mr. Bingley, if the man ever actually arrives, but I suppose he can have any of the rest of you, as he chooses. Hill! Hill! We must ready the best guest room!”

And with that, Mrs. Bennet was on her feet and headed out the parlour door.

Jane and Elizabeth gazed at one another and then broke into laughter. The sound drew the other Bennet girls out, and Elizabeth read the letter out yet again.

“Mama says he can have any of us except Jane,” Elizabeth said.

“Ha! I certainly would not marry a parson,” Lydia announced.

“Nor I,” faithful Kitty put in.

“I would take him,” Mary said, stoutly.

“You have not yet met him, Mary,” Jane said.

Mary shrugged. “He is a parson, he has a living, and he wants a Bennet daughter to wife. What else need I know?”

“What if he has warts?” Kitty said.

“Or a humped back?” Lydia put in.

“No hair at all!”

“Except on his hands, where there are great tufts of hair!”

“So fat that he cannot walk!”

Jane put a stop to the conversation, saying in her best eldest sister voice, “This is all extremely unkind – not to mention extremely unlikely – and must stop at once.”

Kitty and Lydia flounced out and ran upstairs, doubtless to continue their verbal game.

Elizabeth went upstairs to reply to her aunt’s letter.

Dear Aunt Madeleine,

As it turns out, our mysterious neighbour is indeed Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire, but he is living incognito, as it were, in order to not be hounded by anxious mamas and daughters.

Knowing how Mama can be when there is a potential husband about, I cannot say that I blame him.

Papa has asked us not to let on that we know about him, and also asks that we guard our hearts, as he is destined for some wealthy young lady in the ton.

I will admit, dear Aunt, that I think it rather a shame, as he is an exceedingly handsome man, tall, with thick dark hair and fine dark eyes, and there is something in the air when he is about. I am talking nonsense, I know, so I shall cease at once.

In other news, Papa’s cousin, a Mr. William Collins, is to come here in a few weeks. He is Papa’s heir, you know, and he wishes to know us and – you will scarcely believe this – to marry one of us girls. Mary has already volunteered herself, without ever setting eyes on the man!

I will write you directly after he arrives, as I do not doubt that you very much long to know what sort of man will inherit Longbourn after my dear Papa leaves us, particularly as he is apparently destined to marry one of us.

Much love to you, my uncle and my darling cousins,

Lizzy