Page 27 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
T he next day saw Mr. Collins begging for private time with Mary, saying to his hostess, “May I hope, madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Mary, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?”
Mrs. Bennet’s face lit up like a candle as she replied, “Yes, certainly. I am sure Mary will be very happy. Come, everyone, let us leave Mr. Collins and Mary together.”
Mary made no protest as her mother and sisters left the room, Kitty and Lydia laughing at her and Elizabeth and Jane sending her loving glances.
Once they were alone, Mr. Collins wasted no time.
“My dear cousin Mary, you can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. I shall begin by stating my reasons for marrying.”
He paused, and Mary took the opportunity to sit. She knew it was likely to be a rather lengthy proposal, and she thought she may as well be comfortable. Mr. Collins did not sit, however, but paced about the room as he spoke.
“First, I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances, like myself, to set the example of matrimony in his parish; secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and, thirdly, which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness.”
He paused for breath, and Mary quickly said, “These are excellent reasons, Mr. Collins.”
“Indeed, Lady Catherine has condescended to give me her opinion on this subject; and it was the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford, that she said, ‘Mr. Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must marry. Choose properly, choose a gentlewoman for my sake, and for your own ; let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, andI will visit her.’”
He stopped again, clearly overwhelmed by such attention paid him by his patroness, giving Mary the opportunity to say, “It would appear that the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh is one of the many advantages your wife would enjoy.”
“Indeed, indeed, which is just what I was about to observe, Miss Mary! You will find her manners beyond anything I can describe; and your many admirable qualities must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite.”
“Silence and respect, of course,” Mary agreed, thinking it was well that Mr. Collins had turned his attention from Elizabeth.
“And the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father, who, however, may live many years longer, I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible when the melancholy event takes place—which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem.”
“On the contrary, Mr. Collins, I esteem you now more highly than ever,” responded Mary at once, knowing what was expected of her.
He nodded in satisfaction, and then said, “And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the 4 per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother’s decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to.
On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent: and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married. ”
“I thank you for your generosity, Mr. Collins,” she said, calmly.
“I wish I brought more to the marriage than my share of my mother’s money, but you will be glad to know that I have been trained to be the mistress of an estate, and you will not find me wanting when my father’s inevitable demise makes it necessary for me to assume that role. ”
“Ah!” he cried. “Quite right, quite right! How wise I was to single you out, Miss Mary! How very well we shall complement one another; I hope that we may marry as soon as may be.”
“I hope you will speak to my father very soon,” Mary said. “And assure him of my hearty consent to your proposal.”
Elated, Mr. Collins grasped Mary’s hand and placed a rather wet kiss upon it. “I depart at once, my dear! And when next I see you, we shall be an engaged couple!” He immediately left the room, leaving Mary to sit and contemplate her good fortune.
Not long after, Mr. Collins reappeared and said, “Your father wishes to see you in his study, my dear.”
Mary rose and made her way to Mr. Bennet’s refuge. She knocked, heard “Come in!” and entered the room. “Yes, Papa?”
Her father motioned her to a chair. “I have just had this idiot of a cousin of mine in here asking for your hand.”
“I must ask you not to speak about my future husband in that manner,” she said, steadily.
Her father stared at her. “I have never heard you speak so, Mary.”
“I suspect having someone actually want me has given me courage,” she observed.
“ Want you? Whatever can you mean, Mary? Surely your family has always wanted you!”
“Really, Papa? I must say that it never felt that way. You have so rarely shown any interest in me that I almost fainted from my surprise when you kissed me on the head. Mama has always despaired of me, saying I would never marry. What will she say, do you think, now that I shall be the first to marry, as well as be the future mistress of Longbourn? In any case, yes, now I am wanted. I was his last choice, mind you, after Jane and Lizzy, but I was his choice.”
Mr. Bennet rose and walked around the desk.
He gathered his middle daughter into his arms; she protested at first, squirming away, but he would not let her go.
Finally, she collapsed into his arms and wept with him.
He whispered, “Are you certain, my dear Mary? Do not marry him if you have any doubts.”
She raised her tear-stained face to gaze at her father. “I am certain, Papa. With me, Longbourn will continue to be in our family, and my first-born son will be named Bennet.”
***
That night at dinner, Mr. Bennet rose to his feet.
“I have an announcement to make.” It was no secret by now, of course, as Mr. Collins had not stopped beaming at Mary since his success that morning.
“I have agreed to allow Mr. Collins to marry our Mary. She will be Mrs. Collins as soon as the banns can be read.”
Kitty and Lydia rolled their eyes and began to groan; this was immediately hushed by Jane.
“Oh, Mary!” Mrs. Bennet squealed in her glee. “I always knew you would be the first to marry!”
No one commented on this obvious falsehood; instead, Elizabeth said, “Have you decided who will stand up with you, Mary?”
“I have, yes. I want all my sisters with me.”
“All four?” Mrs. Bennet asked in disbelief.
“All four,” Mary averred, causing Lydia to announce that she would need a new gown for the occasion. The conversation then turned to gowns, headpieces and flowers.
***
That Sunday, the twenty-fourth of November, the banns were read for the first time.
No one was surprised; everyone in Meryton already knew of the betrothal, as Mrs. Bennet had wasted no time in spreading the good news.
Longbourn was safe! She would never have to leave her home!
She had, she thought, never known such happiness.
Having Jane engaged to Mr. Bingley had been wonderful, but this – this! – was even better!
Mary was congratulated by everyone. There was no envy on anyone’s part, as no one else had had any interest in becoming Mrs. Collins.
***
Miss Bingley had not spoken to Jane since Mr. Bingley had informed his sister of his engagement. She had been reminded rather forcefully by her brother of her oversight, one which she attempted to rectify as the parties stood outside the church door.
“Miss Bennet,” she said, as Jane left the church.
“Oh, Miss Bingley,” Jane replied, cheerfully. “How are you today?”
“Quite well; I am never ill. I suppose congratulations are in order?”
“For my sister, Mary? I thank you!”
“Oh! Why, no, I meant for yourself.”
Jane only looked puzzled.
“But – but – Charles told me that you and he were engaged; did I misunderstand?”
“Oh, no, quite right. I am sorry, Miss Bingley, that was several days ago. Of course I thought you alluded to more recent events.”
Miss Bingley felt herself to be quite wrong-footed now. “I had intended, of course, to call upon you before now, but –“ And she could not think of an excuse that would serve.
Jane merely waited, with an interested expression on her face.
Finally, Miss Bingley said, “In any event, I am happy to welcome you to the family. I will be delighted to help you take on your new role, as I am certain you will be unaccustomed to being the mistress of a household.”
“I do not anticipate any difficulties in that regard, Miss Bingley; surely you know that I was raised to be the mistress of an estate. Dealing with servants, balancing the account books, deciding upon menus, stocking the stillroom, visiting tenants – heavens, Mama has been teaching all of us girls the necessary skills since we were in the schoolroom. And besides…” here Jane trailed off.
“Besides?” Miss Bingley was now quite irritated. She had few of these skills, of course, and did not like having that fact pointed out to her.
“Has Charles not spoken to you yet?”
“About what?”
“Ah, evidently not. Forgive me, Miss Bingley, I spoke out of turn. In any case, I thank you for your good wishes.” With that, Jane smiled, curtsied, and departed, leaving Miss Bingley to stare after her, scowling.