Page 46 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

A s his wedding day approached, Mr. Bingley was reminded by Mrs. Hurst that he had not yet written to Mr. Darcy to ask him to stand up with him at his wedding. ”Unless you have changed your mind and wish my husband to do the honours?” she asked.

Mr. Bingley shook his head. “It was Darcy who encouraged me to lease an estate, it was Darcy who took the trouble to sign the papers and accept the keys, and it was Darcy who convinced me that Jane was right for me. I shall write to him at once.”

Darcy,

I am getting married on the twenty-fourth of February and would be everything grateful if you would stand up with me. It is thanks to you that I have found my beautiful Jane, and the event would be incomplete without your presence. Will you come?

Bingley

He sent it off with a messenger who was told to await a reply.

***

At Darcy House, the message was presented to its intended recipient on the customary silver platter. “The messenger says he is to await a reply, sir,” the butler said, bowing.

Mr. Darcy slit open the message, read it and frowned.

It was inescapable, he knew; he had to stand up with his friend and, in doing so, see Miss Elizabeth again.

He should avoid her, of course. He should make every effort to never see her again, not until he was safely married, in any case. But he could not disappoint Bingley.

Bingley,

I would be honoured, of course. I will come to you on the twenty-third, but you must forgive me if I leave immediately after, as I have a good many obligations in Town that same week.

Darcy

It was a lie, of course. There was nothing all that pressing that last week in February, but he knew his weakness and, as a rational man, he knew he must be careful not to give himself any opportunities to succumb to it.

He was to join his aunt and uncle for dinner that night, and he would take that opportunity to inform the Countess of his impending departure.

***

At Matlock House, he was surprised to hear raised voices when he was escorted to the drawing room and announced.

“Oh, Darcy, there you are!” The Viscount gazed at his cousin with relief in his eyes. “Come and tell my parents that they are being entirely absurd!”

Mr. Darcy’s brows rose. “Are they, indeed?” he asked, calmly. As it was highly unusual for his cousin to solicit him in any fashion, he suspected something was very much amiss.

“I tell you, it was not my fault! Tell them, Darcy, it could not possibly have been my doing.” He gestured to the Earl and Countess, sitting quite stiffly side by side on the sofa across the room.

“I apologise, cousin, but I have not the pleasure of knowing to what you refer,” Mr. Darcy replied.

“Well, you are likely the only person in London who does not,” the Earl barked. “This young fool allowed himself to be compromised in a ballroom!”

“I take it you were not at the Waverly ball, Darcy,” the Countess said, in a weary voice. “Else you would know all about this sad state of affairs.”

“No, indeed, I had promised the Farringtons that I would attend their musical evening. You must tell me what has happened.”

The Viscount answered. “I was forced into dancing with a Miss Harriet Weatherington – and that was your doing, Mother! – and she asked me to take her to the balcony, where she proceeded to all but rip her gown to bits and then scream her fool head!”

Mr. Darcy was torn between outrage and hilarity. Was this not just what Daniel deserved? “And then?” he asked.

“Her mother was right there , of course she was, as the whole thing was a sinister plot, and then she screamed and the whole bloody ballroom had to come and see Harriet Weatherington with her bodice half down to her knees!”

“Language,” the Countess said, automatically, and then added, “The bodice was not down to her knees; in fact, it looked exactly as if it had been ripped by your own hand.”

“She stuck the lace in my hand!” the Viscount objected.

“I do not doubt that it was a plot,” the Countess said. “It was perfectly executed and executed against the perfect person, as word of your attempts to kiss young ladies has made its way even to my own ears.”

“You are stuck, Daniel, and by your own doing,” the Earl pronounced. “I suppose it might have been worse.”

“Might have been worse?” the Viscount all but screeched. “Lord, have you seen her? She is a positive antidote! Do you know her nickname? Hairy Harriet, because there is always dog hair on her clothing! Marry Hairy Harriet? Impossible, I tell you!”

The Countess said, “She may improve upon acquaintance. Consider Shakespeare: ‘ look to like, if looking liking move.’ “

The Viscount replied, tersely, “I will not look to like. I have looked and I do not like, nor shall I!”

“But you will do your duty by the young lady,” the Earl rumbled. “Or I shall disinherit you.”

The room fell silent. Finally, the Viscount said, weakly, “You cannot do that.”

“I cannot change the fact that the title will fall to you, no. But the estate is not entailed, and just now nothing would give me greater pleasure than to change my will and make Richard the heir to the properties and the monies. I do not doubt that he would acquit himself far better than you.”

The Viscount began to sputter, but his father went inexorably on.

“When I think of Richard risking his life on the battlefield, and you here in London making love to young ladies and galloping your horses about with other young fools – why, I feel sick. We have discussed this, have we not, Elaine?” He turned to his wife.

“We have; I did not think we would ever be truly tempted to take such a drastic action, George.” The Countess sounded sad.

“Well, the choice is Daniel’s. If he had not gotten himself such a reputation, no one would have believed that the girl was truly compromised, and we might have found a way out of this. But as it stands, he must marry her or he must face the consequences.”

Mr. Darcy, who had been listening in fascinated horror, realised now that he should have excused himself from the conversation some time ago.

He rose, saying, ““I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence, nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though unavailing concern for the family’s difficulties.”

“No, no, Darcy, stay,” the Viscount pleaded. “Tell me – convince them! – there must be another way. Stay, perhaps you could marry her!” His visage brightened considerably. “Give Darcy to her; that should quiet things down.”

“Are you soft in the head, son? It is you who appeared to have compromised her, not Darcy! And he certainly should not sacrifice his own future as a result of your stupidity.”

“I am sorry to disappoint you, cousin, but I have no desire to wed Miss Weatherington,” Mr. Darcy said, dryly. “Aunt, Charles Bingley asked me to stand up with him at his wedding; I shall be gone on the twenty-third and twenty-fourth of this month, but expect to return home that afternoon.”

“No doubt his bride is pretty,” the Viscount muttered.

“Pretty? She is actually quite beautiful and turns heads wherever she goes. Bingley is a lucky man.” He had been unable to resist this dig at his distasteful cousin. “Excuse me, please; I will let you discuss this matter in peace.” He bowed and left the house.

Out in the street, while waiting for his carriage to be brought round, he allowed himself to laugh out loud at his cousin’s discomfiture.

***

“Lizzy, Charles tells me that Mr. Darcy will stand up with him at our wedding. I had not thought – that is, I should have asked him –“

“Jane, do not distress yourself on my account. It is right for your Mr. Bingley to be allowed to choose who will stand up with him, and I would not dream of interfering.”

“But will it not be difficult for you, Lizzy? You standing up with me, Mr. Darcy standing up with Charles! You can hardly avoid him.”

“I am certain that we shall see one another with some frequency over the coming years, as I can scarcely ask Mr. Bingley to cut the connection. I may as well become accustomed to it.” Elizabeth congratulated herself on the calmness of her voice, which belied the turmoil within.

“Are you certain?”

“Jane, stop worrying about me. Think instead about how lovely you will look, stepping daintily down the church aisle in your blue dress, and how very much every other young lady in the parish will envy you, and how every other gentleman in the parish will envy Mr. Bingley!” Elizabeth knew that teasing Jane was the best way to distract her.

It worked a treat, as Jane turned bright pink and begged her to stop, leading them to a discussion of how much lace Mama had insisted be on Jane’s wedding dress.