Page 26 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

I n point of fact, Mr. Bingley was doing that exact thing at that exact moment. “Do not say that you do not care, Darcy, for it is you who told me that keeping the good opinion of one’s neighbours was important.”

“They are your neighbours, not mine.”

“But you are my house guest, so what is said about you reflects upon me. Come, you cannot deny it.”

Indeed, Mr. Darcy could not. But his eyes lit up as a thought occurred to him. “I will strike a bargain with you, Bingley.”

“Yes? What bargain?”

“I will tell Mr. Bennet the truth of Wickham as soon as you tell Miss Bingley what you promised Miss Bennet and Mr. Bennet.”

“Darcy, that is unfair!” Mr. Bingley’s eyes were wide with outrage.

“Is it?”

“I think so; the situations are in no way similar.”

“They are more than similar, they are almost identical. They are both conversations that we must have, but do not wish to have.”

Miss Bingley swept into the drawing room, her face distressed. “Oh, Mr. Darcy! After you left the room last night, that terrible man said the most dreadful things about you!”

“I am certain that he did,” Mr. Darcy replied, calmly.

“I was so horrified that I almost swooned!” she continued, her hand to her forehead.

“There is no need for your theatrics, Caroline,” her brother said. “Mr. Darcy has it all well in hand, do you not, Darcy?”

“You tell me, Bingley; do I?” Mr. Darcy countered.

Confused, Miss Bingley looked from one gentleman to the other. Mr. Darcy took pity on her. “Do not fret, Miss Bingley. There is no truth to the story at all, and I will explain myself when I feel the time is right.”

“I shall be happy to listen,” she said at once.

“And then I will tell the truth of the matter to the entire neighbourhood, for such slander should not be allowed to flourish! And I believe, if this is not overly self-congratulatory, that a contradiction from myself would carry a good deal of weight with the ladies in the neighbourhood.”

“I beg you not to concern yourself, Miss Bingley. As your brother stated, it is well in hand.”

Seeing that her pleas would not move him, she changed the topic.

“The dancing last night was so clumsy! I was too embarrassed to participate. Doubtless you did not notice, Charles, being occupied with Miss Bennet to the exclusion of all else. And the music! I have heard Miss Elizabeth described as an accomplished musician, but all I heard were wrong notes and inaccurate rhythms.”

“Indeed?” Mr. Bingley’s voice held barely contained laughter. “I noticed no deficiencies, but since you bring it up, I think I should like to host a ball here at Netherfield.”

“Host a ball? Why, you must be joking, Charles! Surely there is no need for such a display. No one here will appreciate it.”

“Display? Nonsense; I mean only to return my neighbours’ many kindnesses to me. We have had no one to dinner, you know, Caroline, though we have been invited to a good many dinners and parties.”

Mr. Darcy put in, smoothly, “Quite right, Bingley; it is important to repay the hospitality of the neighbourhood. One does not wish to become known as someone who is happy to take advantage of the friendliness of others but not extend it in return. Am I not correct, Miss Bingley?”

“You are, of course, Mr. Darcy, but – well, heavens, Charles! It is a good deal of work for me, you know; you did not consider that, did you?”

“You are absolutely right, Caroline; I did not, and I apologise to you. But no matter; doubtless Louisa would be happy to oblige me. I will just run up and fetch her.”

“Louisa! Why, she could never manage such a thing.” Miss Bingley heaved a great sigh. “Very well, Charles, you always get your way and I suppose you shall have your way in this as well.”

Mr. Bingley continued on, oblivious to his sister’s plaints. “I thought Tuesday, the twenty-sixth of November. The moon will be near to full, you know, and that will give everyone plenty of light for traveling.”

“Very well; I shall get started at once.” With another great sigh, Miss Bingley left the room.

Mr. Darcy eyed his friend with some consternation. “I see what you are about here, Bingley.”

“Do you?”

“I do, indeed; you will now say that it would be unconscionable to tell Miss Bingley that she will not live with you when you are married, for she would then refuse to make the arrangements for the ball.”

“Dash it, Darcy! I had not considered that.” Mr. Bingley’s tone was rueful.

“Really, Bingley? That was not the impetus behind the ball?”

“No, the idea for the ball has been lurking in my mind for some time now, and Caroline’s complaints about the dancing and the music last night simply brought it out. But you cannot wait that long to tell your story about Wickham, you know; it must be dealt with as soon as may be.”

Mr. Darcy stared at Mr. Bingley for several seconds; finally convinced by the utter innocence of his expression, as well as the unlikelihood of the man having thought so strategically. He finally nodded and said, “Very well.”

Mr. Bingley allowed himself a moment of self-congratulation; it was not often that he was able to pull the wool, as the saying went, over the keen eyes of Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

***

That afternoon, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley made their way, as was their wont, to Longbourn.

Mr. Bingley was going to see his beloved Jane; Mr. Darcy was on his way to speak with Mr. Bennet.

He hoped that he would only have to tell his story once, so he would rely on Mr. Bennet to put it about to the neighbours.

When the gentlemen entered the house, Mr. Hill took their coats and hats, and murmured, “Everyone is in the parlour, gentlemen.”

“No need to announce us, Hill,” Mr. Bingley said. “I expect they all know who we are by now.”

Mr. Hill only grunted in response as he trundled away with their garments.

Upon entering the parlour, Mr. Darcy saw that the entire family was present.

He noted Mr. Collins sitting beside Miss Mary; well, that was a hopeful sign.

Once bows, curtsies and polite exchanges were done, Mr. Darcy asked if he might speak to Mr. Bennet privately.

But before Mr. Bennet could respond, Miss Lydia spoke up, saying, “Mr. Darcy, is it true that you cheated Lieutenant Wickham out of his inheritance?”

“Lydia!” Cries of horror came from every corner of the room.

“Well done, Lydia,” her father drawled. “Your pin money for the quarter will buy me a book I have been wanting.”

“But we are all thinking it!” the girl declared.

“One more word, and it will be the next quarter’s pin money as well.”

Mr. Darcy looked at Miss Lydia. “Did you really believe him, Miss Lydia? I had thought better of you.”

“And I had thought better of you ,” she fired back.

“Very well; I see there is no alternative.” Mr. Darcy sat down, waved away an offer of a teacup, and cleared his throat.

“George Wickham was the son of my father’s steward.

There were no other lads close in age nearby, so he and I were close companions in our youth.

My father sent him to school with me, and it was there that trouble began.

He ran up accounts in my name, leaving me to pay them with my allowance.

He – well, I have no delicate way to say this – he had relationships with women. ”

The company gasped, and Mr. Darcy passed a hand over his brow.

“My father was fond of George, and I could not bear to disillusion him as to the man’s character; thus, when my father died, he left George one thousand pounds in his will, and asked me to give him the Kympton living, should he take orders.” He stopped, quite evidently lost in his memories.

It was Elizabeth who prompted him, saying, softly, “But he did not take orders.”

Mr. Darcy looked at her gratefully. “No, Miss Elizabeth, he did not. Instead, he told me that he wished to study law and asked me to give him the value of the living, which he thought to be three thousand pounds.”

“That is a good deal of money for a living,” Mr. Bennet remarked.

“Indeed, and the Kympton living was certainly not worth so much. But I was happy enough to see the back of him, so off he went, clutching his cheque for four thousand pounds.”

“But that is not the end of the story, I am guessing,” Jane murmured.

“No, for a year later, the rector holding the Kympton living died, and who should come knocking at my door again but George Wickham, who explained that law had not been to his taste and he would like to claim the living he had been promised. I reminded him that he had been compensated for it, at his own request, and showed him the paper he had signed releasing all claim to it.”

“But how could he serve as a parson? He was not even ordained!” Mary cried.

“No, he was not. He departed, then, with dire threats of revenge. I laughed at him, for what could he do to me? I soon learned my error. A - a young lady of my acquaintance, whom I shall not name, became known to him in a seaside town last summer. He convinced her to elope with him. Her dowry is substantial, which, of course, was his primary aim. She was but sixteen at the time.”

“Oh, heavens!” Mrs. Bennet cried, clutching her handkerchief. “What became of the poor girl?”

“It happened that I was at that same seaside town, and caught sight of the two of them together in – well, let us say a somewhat compromising position. She immediately confessed all to me, and Wickham, knowing that his game was done, laughed at her and told her that he had only been interested in her money. You can imagine the poor girl’s heartbreak. ”

Lydia was now in tears. “Mr. Darcy, I am so very sorry! Is the poor girl well now?”

Mr. Darcy hesitated. “To the best of my knowledge, her spirits have been somewhat depressed since this event, but her relations all have hope for her eventual recovery.” He then added.

“Wickham has accumulated over a thousand pounds in debts in Lambton and in London, all of which I have paid for him, rather than allow the merchants to suffer.”

Elizabeth ventured a question. “So you hold his debts in excess of a thousand pounds?”

“I do, yes.”

“Why do you not have him imprisoned?”

Mr. Darcy hesitated, and finally said, “I suppose I still have hope that he will reform someday, Miss Elizabeth.”

“How old is he now?” She was relentless.

“My age, so eight-and-twenty.”

“Do you think it is rational to expect a reformation at this late date, Mr. Darcy?”

“I suppose I hope, rather than expect.”

“And in holding such unrealistic and irrational expectations, you allow him to continue on his merry way, doing heaven knows what with young ladies and incurring debts with unsuspecting merchants, including those here in Meryton. I beg your pardon, sir, but I had understood you to say that you were guided by rational principles.”

“Lizzy! Whatever are you about, speaking to Mr. Darcy in such a manner?” Mrs. Bennet was appalled.

Both Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy ignored her.

Elizabeth stared at Mr. Darcy as if challenging him; he stared back.

Finally, he said, “You are completely right, of course, Miss Elizabeth. I am putting your neighbours at risk, simply because I retain some silly and useless sentiment for an old childhood friend. I will take immediate steps to correct my error.”

“Then I thank you, Mr. Darcy, on behalf of all the young girls and merchants in Meryton.” Elizabeth actually rose and curtsied to him, prompting him to rise and bow in return.

***

Later that afternoon, when the Netherfield guests had departed, Mary went in search of Elizabeth. Finding her in the back garden with Jane, Mary explained that she was in need of sisterly advice.

“Of course, Mary,” Elizabeth said at once. “Look, there is room for all three of us on this bench. It is rather cold, but we shall warm one another up soon enough. Come, sit beside me, Mary.”

“Oh, the bench is very cold!” Jane said, sitting on Mary’s other side. “This is about Mr. Collins, I imagine?”

“It is, yes.” Mary then looked down at her dress.

“He is finally paying you some attention, Mary,” Elizabeth prompted.

“Yes, but only after he first wanted Jane and then you, Lizzy.”

“Does that distress you, Mary?”

“It should, should it not? But it does not, and that is what distresses me.”

“Let me understand you,” Jane said, slowly. “You are distressed because you are not distressed?”

“Well, it sounds rather nonsensical when you put it like that, Jane, but I suppose you have the right of it. I just begin to wonder if there is something amiss in my character.”

Elizabeth and Jane glanced at one another. Elizabeth then said, “Mary, just because Jane and I are romantic does not mean that you must be as well.”

Jane added, “You said you would take him before we had even set eyes upon him, Mary, for entirely practical reasons.”

“I had the distinct feeling that you both thought me rather absurd at the time,” Mary said, still staring down.

“Not absurd, no, of course not,” Elizabeth said at once. “I only thought that I could never have said such a thing and, in point of fact, rather admired you for doing so. Jane?”

“No, nor could I. In truth, I believed you to be quite brave for being willing to do so much to keep Longbourn in the family.”

“I was not being brave, Jane, nor was I thinking of Longbourn. I was hoping to take what might well be the only chance I have for a home and family of my own.” Mary raised her face and turned her head to look at Jane.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” Elizabeth cried at once. “No one could fault you for it!”

Mary went on. “And when he arrived, and was so – well, bumbling and awkward, I was glad, for I knew that no one else would want him.”

“That is also very reasonable,” Jane assured her. “I would not have wanted him in any case, being engaged, but you are right that had he presented a more attractive person and demeanor, you might have had Lizzy and Kitty as rivals.”

“No one would pick me over either of them – no, do not protest – so I felt truly blessed.”

“Will he propose, do you think?” Elizabeth asked.

“I think he will,” Mary said, slowly. “And you do not think me wrong, either of you, for accepting a man so very unappealing?

“I will think you wrong only if you do not like him, Mary,” Elizabeth said. “You have described him as bumbling, awkward, and unattractive. As long as you do not mind these traits, your sisters can have no complaint.”

“I do not mind, truly,” Mary said. “If anything, I value them. I need never think that he is off with another woman, nor need I ever believe that he married me from pity.”

“That is true, Mary,” Jane agreed. “And just think – someday you will be mistress of Longbourn. That is worth a great deal, and many women have married for far less cause.”

Mary sighed deeply. “I thank you both; my mind is much relieved.”

“That leaves us with only one question,” Elizabeth said, beginning to laugh. “Which is this – who will stand up with you when you are wed?”