Page 11 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

T he next morning, Darcy took Meditations on First Philosophy down to the breakfast room. Descartes was the voice of reason; surely there was something in this fine volume that would help him undo whatever bewitchment had been laid upon him.

Which of the six “meditations” were best suited for this odd situation?

Meditation One was called “Of the things of which we may doubt,” and it posited that human senses lie constantly.

There, Mr. Darcy thought, my sense of sight lied to me.

Surely she is not the most beautiful woman in the world.

My sense of hearing lied to me as well; her voice could not possibly have been as melodic as he recalled it.

Good, good, he thought. That explains it; my senses lied to me.

Mr. Darcy was relieved that the situation was now clear.

Descartes would doubtless congratulate him on the fact that his rational mind had defeated the lies of the senses.

When I next see Miss Elizabeth, he thought, I shall remember that everything I see and hear is a lie.

When Mrs. Nichols came to clear his dishes, she laid two envelopes in front of him. “Mail, Mr. Darcy.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Nichols.”

Both messages had been forwarded from Pemberley. One was from his Aunt Elaine, Countess of Matlock, in London. The other was from his Aunt Catherine, Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Kent. Sighing, the opened the one from Kent first. Its contents were no surprise.

Darcy,

It is past time that your mother’s promises to me were honoured.

Anne is ready to be married. I think she would prefer to be a spring bride, but I see no need to wait so long.

In my opinion, Christmas is the ideal time for a wedding.

My rector, Mr. Collins, can perform the ceremony with little fuss, but as you are aware, you must write to your own rector for the banns to be called in your parish.

Though I would not object to Anne being married by a Common Marriage License, which would not be at all out of place for the union of the master of Pemberley and the heiress of Rosings Park!

In any case, you must write to me at once and tell meyour plans.

In great haste,

Aunt Catherine

Mr. Darcy groaned. He had been wrong to simply ignore the situation in Kent.

He thought his obvious lack of interest in his cousin Anne would be enough to put Aunt Catherine off, but that was clearly not the case.

He had not been thinking rationally about it, he said to himself.

Subtlety was outside Aunt Catherine’s scope; it was time now to be direct. He would attend to this at once.

Dear Aunt Catherine,

I have no interest in marrying Anne. I had thought that this would be evident to you by now, but apparently my thinking was in error, and I apologise if I have misled you in any fashion.

This will not be a surprise to Anne, as she and I discussed the matter some years ago.

I remain, yours faithfully,

Fitzwilliam Darcy

There, he thought. If that does not bring this matter to a halt, I do not know what will.

The next letter was also about marriage, but from a far more rational source.

Darcy,

Your Uncle George is well, I am glad to report, and of course spends a good deal of his time with political matters. I host many political dinners, during which I smile a good deal and do my best to agree with whatever opinion is being voiced by my dinner companion, no matter how absurd.

Richard is on the continent, and I worry about him every day.

Such is the fate of far too many mothers in the country, I expect, and likely most mothers in France as well!

Why that little man has decided to take over the world and thus put us all through such pain, I shall never understand.

What is wrong with men, I should like to know!

As you and I have discussed, this coming season is the ideal time for you to seek a bride.

I am in the process of compiling a list of the appropriate young ladies who are expected to be available this coming Season, along with their dowries and connexions.

There will be ample opportunity for you to meet them and then choose one of them to be your wife.

With the deepest affection,

Aunt Elaine

Good. Aunt Elaine had matters well in hand for him. Doubtless, once he had selected an appropriate bride from amongst the available young ladies in London, the visage of Elizabeth Bennet would fade entirely from his mind and he would never think of her again.