Page 36 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)
C olonel Fitzwilliam wasted no time. “I like your Miss Elizabeth very much, Darcy.”
“I assumed so, given that you danced with her twice. And not just twice, but the supper dance.” Mr. Darcy’s tone was clipped.
“Do not take your anger out on me, for I shall not permit it.”
“Anger? I am not angry. I am cool, calm and rational.”
The Colonel laughed aloud. “Do you really believe that?”
“Richard, I truly cannot wed her,” Mr. Darcy said, earnestly.
“The mathematics speak for themselves. Have you any idea of the demands that will be placed upon me once I marry and have children? My daughters will each need dowries of at least thirty thousand pounds; my eldest son will inherit Pemberley, of course, but the younger sons will need something to live on. I will either have to separate one or more of the satellite estates from Pemberley, thereby reducing its income, or provide them a living in some other fashion.”
“Or leave them to make their own way,” the Colonel muttered.
“This is what has happened to you, of course, Richard, but you know I have always thought it very wrong. And – and! – I have to give Georgiana her thirty thousand pounds when she marries, which is a substantial expense. Do you not see how necessary it is that my bride bring me something to offset these expenses?”
“How is it that Bingley is able to marry Miss Bennet, then?”
“He has income from his father’s factories, which is not subject to the vagaries of the weather, as is the income from my estates.
He does not want this ongoing connection to trade known, of course, but the income is steady and his expenses are not great.
I considered all this before recommending the match. ”
“And you are not as fortunately placed as Charles Bingley, then.”
Mr. Darcy frowned at that. “Let us just say that I knew Bingley would be swept away by Miss Bennet’s charms and, happily, concerns of fortune did not need to enter into the equation.”
“How fortunate it is, then, that you were not swept away by Miss Elizabeth’s charms. I was, myself, sufficiently swept away that I considered asking my father for a stipend so that I might marry her.
You would not mind, Darcy, would you? After all, you, the master of Pemberley and sundry other estates, are not so fortunate as me.
How lucky I am, to be the penniless second son of an earl and so able to choose my own bride without regard to fortune.
” The Colonel snorted. “Come, Darcy, this is everything ridiculous!”
“I know what you are about, Richard; you need not tease me further.”
“Darcy, I am merely trying to point out –“
“Stop it, Richard. I am a rational man and I will behave rationally at all times.” Each word was bitten off.
Then he added, “Aristotle says that excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.”
The Colonel frowned at his cousin and then replied, “I went to school as well, Darcy, and there is plentiful opportunity to read while waiting for a battle to commence, and so I am able to refute you. Aristotle also says that educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”
“And I refute your refutation, by quoting yet again – I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.”
The Colonel sighed and the two traveled in silence for a quarter of an hour. The Colonel then said, thoughtfully, “A truly rational man would marry Anne de Bourgh. She is quite the heiress, you know.”
“Anne! Anne? She has no conversation, no education, no manners, no spirit, and she can scarce walk from one room to the next!”
“You are not kind to our cousin, Darcy. But I have not the pleasure of understanding you. If those are your criteria – and I do not disagree with them – then I must point out that you found a young lady with conversation, education, spirit, and strength, and you have just left her behind.”
“But no money. No connections.”
“I see; so you are searching for a young lady with Miss Elizabeth’s qualities in the ton , is that it?”
“That is it.” But Mr. Darcy’s voice sounded just a touch uncertain.
“Have you met many such young ladies in the past? You have spent innumerable hours in equally innumerable ballrooms. How many such young ladies have you found?”
Mr. Darcy was silent.
“That is what I thought,” the Colonel said, with considerable satisfaction.
“Your mother is preparing a list for me.”
“My mother and her lists! Let me guess – this is a list of eligible candidates to fill the role of Mrs. Darcy?”
“Just so.”
“I believe we must have met a few of them at the ball we attended when we were in town gathering Wickham’s debts; did you enjoy meeting them?”
“You know I did not, but there are a good many other young ladies on your mother’s list.”
“I wash my hands of you, Darcy, I truly do. You are not rational as you claim to be, you are merely stubborn. Franklin, you have been entirely silent; what say you of your master’s stubbornness?
” This was addressed the Mr. Darcy’s valet, who – of course – had been silent throughout the conversation.
“Nothing whatever, Colonel; indeed, I have been admiring the scenery and have heard not one word of your discussion.”
“The perfect valet! If you are ever weary of being in Mr. Darcy’s service, you are welcome to join mine. We would have grand adventures on the battlefield, Franklin.”
The look of horror on Franklin’s face caused both Mr. Darcy and the Colonel to chuckle.
Mr. Darcy said, “May we consider this subject closed?”
“That subject, yes; but tell me, what of Wickham?”
Mr. Darcy recounted for his cousin the steps he had taken, ending with, “I shall speak to my attorney in London on the subject before I leave for Pemberley, and instruct him to see the matter through to the end.”
“Wickham will finally be off the streets. Hurrah! England is a safer place as a result.”
***
As Mr. Darcy had planned, he spent exactly one day and one night at Matlock House. He spoke to his attorney, who assured him that Wickham was already in a spunging-house, and could be expected to be imprisoned in a fortnight.
Mr. Darcy then bid his relatives farewell, and headed home, home at last to Pemberley.