Page 22 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

W ith Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy in almost daily attendance at Longbourn, the Bennets had been able to put Mr. Collins’ approaching visit from their minds.

They had much rather chuckle at Mr. Bingley’s obvious desire to sit with Jane, and Mr. Darcy’s scarcely less obvious desire to sit with Elizabeth!

Mr. Darcy always began the visit sitting far from Elizabeth, but as the visit progressed, he changed seats with some frequency, until he was sitting as close to her as the furniture would allow. It was truly quite comical.

But when the calendar showed the date to be the seventeenth of the month, they could no longer ignore the impending visit, and thus there was an air of hushed solemnity in the Longbourn parlour when the gentlemen from Netherfield were announced.

“Is everything quite well?” Mr. Darcy asked at once, sensing the tension in the room.

“Of course,” Jane said. “It is just…” and her voice trailed off, as she was uncertain as to how to broach this delicate subject.

Mary was in the room as well, and it fell to her to speak on the dread topic. “Our cousin, Mr. Collins, arrives tomorrow.”

“Is this not a reason for happiness?” Mr. Bingley asked, brow furrowed.

“It might be,” Elizabeth answered him. “Except that…” and now it was her turn to trail off.

“Except that he is the heir to the estate, and may turn us all out as soon as he likes, once Papa is dead.” Mary’s response was unexpectedly blunt.

Mr. Bingley turned to Mr. Darcy, his face betraying his confusion.

“The estate is entailed to heirs male,” Mr. Darcy explained, quietly.

“I see,” Mr. Bingley said, quite evidently surprised at this information. “I am sorry; I did not know.”

“You need not apologise, Mr. Bingley.” Jane said. “It is no secret; I am certain everyone in the neighbourhood is aware of our situation.”

“Is this the first time your cousin has been to Longbourn?” Mr. Bingley asked.

“It is; none of us have ever met him,” Elizabeth said. “There was some disagreement between Mr. Collins’ father and Papa, which resulted in an estrangement. Now that Mr. Collins’ father has passed away, Mr. Collins felt free to write and propose a visit.”

“That speaks well of him,” Mr. Darcy offered, though having read the letter, he had no great hopes of the man.

“Mama anticipates that if he is pleased by his reception, he will be kind to us in the event that we are all still at home when Papa passes away,” Elizabeth said.

“And to that end, the best guest room has been aired, dusted, and given the best rug; every menu has been planned in detail. We girls have been instructed to be on our very best behaviour, though we do not know what that looks like for Kitty and Lydia.” She managed to laugh.

“I am certain your cousin will be very much pleased with his reception,” Mr. Bingley said, very politely.

“We hope so, Mr. Bingley, as it is evidently his intention to marry one of us,” Mary replied.

“Marry one of you! Did he write that in his letter?” Mr. Bingley’s voice was incredulous.

“He did, indeed. He is a rector in Kent, and is well able to support a wife. If Mama has her way, whichever of us his eye falls upon will say ‘yes, thank you,’ at once,” Mary said.

Mrs. Bennet entered the room just then and, of necessity, the conversation turned to more general topics.

***

As the two gentlemen walked back to Netherfield, Mr. Bingley was vociferous in his condemnation of cousins presuming to marry ladies they had never met. Finally, Mr. Darcy stopped him. “What bee has taken up residence in your bonnet, Bingley?”

“Why, it is just so very presumptuous –“

“No, that is not it,” Mr. Darcy interrupted. “Try again.”

Mr. Bingley was silent.

“Yes, Bingley?”

He needed no further invitation. “This cousin will, of course, select Miss Bennet – how could he not? She is everything perfect! The idea of her having to accept a cousin of whom she knows nothing is everything abhorrent to me!”

“Perhaps the cousin will like a different sister instead.”

“Impossible!” Mr. Bingley declared at once.

“The Bennet ladies have no choice, Bingley; you see that, do you not?”

“No, I most certainly do not see that!”

“Why do you not offer for her yourself?”

This stopped Mr. Bingley. “I very much want to,” he said, quietly. “But there is a difficulty.”

“Which is?”

Mr. Bingley then recounted the warning Mr. Bennet had given him at dinner the week before.

“I see,” Mr. Darcy said, somberly. “Then Miss Bennet is better off with her cousin.”

“How can you possibly say that?!”

“If the alternative is a suitor who cannot decide between her perfect self and his termagant sister, then Miss Bennet should go to Kent with the parson and consider herself fortunate.”

“It is not that simple, Darcy.”

Mr. Darcy shrugged. “It is that simple. Further, if the cousin is due to arrive tomorrow, you had best make haste before she is forced to promise herself elsewhere. As we both heard, Mrs. Bennet will not allow any of her daughters to decline his suit.”

Mr. Bingley stopped at once. “You are right, Darcy.”

“I generally am,” that gentleman replied, calmly.

“Do you agree that Miss Bennet’s lack of dowry is not an issue? Caroline speaks of it constantly.”

“Bingley, you must understand that you will have to provide dowries for any daughters you have, and your sons will require an education. The eldest son will inherit, of course, but the younger sons will need to be given a start in a career of some sort. All that said, from what I understand of your income and your expenses, I do not foresee a problem as long as you and Miss Bennet do not become extravagant in your tastes.”

“You know that I still receive a goodly amount of money from my factories, more than I have ever spent.”

“Yes; and that is why I feel safe in making this recommendation to you.”

Mr. Bingley whooped, and then said, “Thank you, Darcy! Wish me luck!” Without another word, Mr. Bingley turned and made his way back to Longbourn, leaving Mr. Darcy to look after him, a slight smile playing about his lips.

***

“He is back,” Elizabeth whispered to Jane.

“He? Who?”

“Mr. Bingley, and he looks quite determined.”

The girls listened as Mr. Hill opened the door. They heard, “Very good, Mr. Bingley,” and then footsteps fading in the opposite direction. Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other in confusion.

A few minutes later, they heard Mr. Hill’s laborious tread headed back toward them. “Hill!” Elizabeth called out.

Mr. Hill poked his head around the door jamb. “Yes, Miss Elizabeth?”

“What did Mr. Bingley want?”

Mr. Hill almost smiled. “To see your father.” With that, he turned and lumbered off.

Jane burst into tears and her sister held her as she cried for joy. “We are saved, Lizzy,” Jane was able to whisper at last.

“And it is you who have saved us,” Elizabeth whispered back.

Mr. Bingley and Mr. Bennet soon walked into the parlour, both of them smiling widely. “Mr. Bingley has asked for, and has been granted, a brief period of private time with you, Jane. Ten minutes, mind, and this door will remain ajar. And, Mr. Bingley, do remember our discussion.”

***

Mr. Bennet announced Jane’s engagement to the family at dinner that night. The happy smile on Jane’s face livened the family dinner considerably, and Mrs. Bennet’s delighted pronouncements of carriages and pin money were tolerated by everyone.

“But you will have to abide his sister, that awful Miss Bingley,” Lydia said. “It would take a good deal of pin money to compensate for that!”

Jane answered, “No, indeed, for Mr. Bingley promised Papa that he would send his sister away!”

“Really, Papa?” Kitty’s face showed her astonishment.

“Really, Kitty. No one should have to live with such a woman. I am fortunate indeed in my wife and daughters.” Mr. Bennet bent his attention to his plate, missing the quick, shocked glances that traveled round the table.

***

At Netherfield, a similar dinner announcement was made, but it was not nearly so well-received. Miss Bingley immediately pronounced it a terrible shame and accosted Mr. Darcy the moment the meal was over. “Surely you cannot approve of such a match, Mr. Darcy!”

“Can I not, Miss Bingley? And why is that?”

“Why, you are always so keen on rational matters, and you must see that this is hardly a rational decision!”

“I do not see that at all. Your brother has no need of more money, Miss Bingley. What he does need, given your family’s unfortunate parentage, is a connection to the gentry. Miss Bennet provides this, as well as a thorough knowledge of how to be the mistress of an estate.”

Miss Bingley fumed silently; she did not like any reference to her ties to trade and her own lack of estate experience.

Mr. Darcy continued. “His children may still bear the taint of trade, but his grandchildren are likely to be free of it. In this regard, Miss Bennet is the best bride he could hope for.”

“But she has no dowry at all!” Miss Bingley managed to say.

But Mr. Darcy was relentless. “Remember, Miss Bingley, that it is only because Miss Bennet has no dowry that she would even be willing to consider joining herself with a man whose father was in trade. It could certainly be said that she, as the daughter of a landed gentleman, not to mention exceptionally beautiful, could do better than your brother. Were she to have a Season in town, she could likely capture a title as well.”

Miss Bingley shut her eyes for a moment, and then rose and left the room, without so much as a curtsey.

It occurred to Mr. Darcy just then that if Miss Bennet was engaged to Bingley, his Elizabeth – no, not his Elizabeth, of course! – would likely be his next target.