Page 25 of A Rational Man (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

L izzy, there will be soldiers at Lady Lucas’ card party!”

“Maria Lucas told you this, I imagine?” Elizabeth looked up from the ribbon she was sewing onto an old gown.

Kitty nodded, her curls bobbing in her excitement. “Is that not everything splendid!”

“Is it?” Elizabeth felt it her sisterly duty to dampen this eagerness.

“Why, you know it is, Lizzy! Do you not always complain that there are not enough men to dance with? And now our village is filled with men! Truly, I do not understand you.”

Kitty’s argument was sound, and Elizabeth acknowledged it, while adding, “As long as we all remember that they are not potential husbands, Kitty.”

Kitty made a moué of petulance. “There seems to be a good deal of that going around. First, Mr. Darcy is not a potential husband; now the soldiers are not potential husbands.”

Elizabeth almost laughed. “Yes, for Mr. Darcy is too rich and the soldiers are too poor.”

“Where are we to find husbands, then?”

“It is a reasonable question, Kitty, for which I have no answer whatsoever. We all hope that Mr. Bingley will introduce us to his friends, I suppose.”

“Well, if they are all as rich as Mr. Darcy, it will not serve, will it? For they will all be too rich to be potential husbands!” And with that, Kitty flounced off.

Elizabeth returned her attention to her ribbon, but she soon gave it up. She was disturbed, not just by her conversation with Kitty, but by the odd events at Longbourn.

Since her conversation with Mr. Darcy, Mr. Collins had avoided Elizabeth assiduously.

She was grateful to be freed from her cousin’s unpleasant and unwanted attentions, but Mama was not at all happy with her.

What had Elizabeth done, she demanded? Or said?

Had she showed too much décolletage to Mr. Collins?

Or too little? In vain Elizabeth had protested that she had done nothing, and certainly she could not confess to her conversation with Mr. Darcy.

In truth, she had hoped that Mr. Darcy had been successful in directing Mr. Collins toward Mary, but thus far there had been no indication of an inclination in that direction on Mr. Collins’ part.

Mr. Collins would attend the card party with the Bennets, of course; perhaps he would dance with Mary.

***

When the Bennet ladies entered Lucas Lodge, it was immediately apparent that Lady Lucas had wasted no time in becoming acquainted with the militia, for she soon introduced Colonel Forster and Mrs. Forster, and the Colonel introduced those of his men who were present.

Kitty and Lydia preened and tossed their hair at each introduction, while Jane, Elizabeth and Mary winced at their forwardness.

Even Mr. Collins looked dismayed. He distanced himself from them at once, saying, again and again, that he was but a distant cousin, though heir to the estate, and he did not know his cousins well.

It was a long pronouncement to make several times, and the soldiers stared at him, wonderingly.

Finally, the introductions were over, and Elizabeth left her family to sit beside Charlotte. “Your mother has certainly filled the room,” Elizabeth remarked.

“Yes, but to what purpose?” Charlotte asked.

“For we cannot marry soldiers,” they said in unison, and then they both laughed.

“Though evidently a Colonel could support a wife! Look at Mrs. Forster – if she is more than a year older than Kitty, I will eat my new hat,” Elizabeth observed.

“Your hat is safe, as I have it from a good source that she is just seventeen.”

The two watched the soldiers parade about with Kitty and Lydia, and it was not long before Maria joined them.

“Your sisters are not a good influence on mine, I fear.”

“You are right, Charlotte. And if I had any influence at all on my sisters, I would correct it at once, but I have none.”

“No more have I with Maria. Her feeling is that if I have not managed to get myself married at seven and twenty, I must know nothing at all. Tell me, though, has Mr. Bingley yet told Miss Bingley that she must live elsewhere before he can be wed to Jane? I find it extraordinary that your father insisted on that caveat and equally extraordinary that Mr. Bingley agreed to it!”

Elizabeth shook her head. “As far as I know, Miss Bingley is still in the dark as to her future.”

“How I wish I could be a silent witness to that conversation when it occurs!” Charlotte smirked.

“As do I,” Elizabeth laughed with her friend.

The party from Netherfield then entered the room.

Elizabeth and Charlotte rose and made their way to the front door to greet them as Lady Lucas began the introductions again.

“Mrs. Hurst, Miss Bingley, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Hurst, Mr. Bingley, please allow me to present Mrs. Forster, Colonel Forster, Captain Carter, Lieutenant Denny, Lieutenant Wickham – Mr. Darcy?” Her voice rose sharply, as well it might, as Mr. Darcy had suddenly turned on his heel and left the room.

“Why, whatever – ?” Lady Lucas was baffled. She turned to Lieutenant Wickham with a question in her eyes.

He responded at once. “Alas, Lady Lucas, my old friend Mr. Darcy still bears a grudge from a childhood injury and, as you see, refuses to recognise me.” He was smiling broadly.

“You know Mr. Darcy? How is that possible?” Sir Lucas joined the group.

“I would prefer not to make the particulars known to all,” he said, motioning to the large group that had now gathered around.

“Quite so, quite so,” Sir Lucas said. “Do go on, my dear.”

Lady Lucas took a deep breath and continued with the introductions, though her voice was now uncertain and confused. She threw a desperate glance at Charlotte, who responded immediately by saying, loudly, “Shall we not dance?”

The room, which had been abuzz with consternation, now brightened considerably; furniture was moved, rugs were rolled up, and Elizabeth found herself stationed at the instrument.

She played a Scotch Reel, then Miss Moore’s Rant, and finally Sir Roger de Coverly.

At the conclusion of the third piece, she turned around and caught Mary’s eye; Mary immediately took Elizabeth’s place at the instrument.

Free from her entertainment obligations, Elizabeth searched the room for Mr. Darcy, but he was nowhere to be found.

“May I have this dance, Miss Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth turned quickly. It was – of all people!

– Lieutenant Wickham, who was holding out his arm to her.

He was a very handsome man, with blond hair, blue eyes, and dimples that popped out on both cheeks when he smiled.

Perhaps she could learn why Mr. Darcy had refused to acknowledge him; she felt that she would have to be very clever with her questions.

“Certainly, Lieutenant,” she said, smiling, and he led her to the floor.

As it turned out, no cleverness was required, for he was bursting to give her the information she sought.

He explained that Mr. Darcy had been jealous of his father’s affection for Lieutenant Wickham and had withheld a valuable legacy as a result.

This, Lieutenant Wickham said, smiling sadly, was why he had been relegated to so low a place as the militia.

Elizabeth believed not a word of it; it was, she thought, entirely improbable.

But why would Mr. Darcy behave so in a public place, leaving the room without a word and thus leaving himself open to speculation of every sort?

It made no sense at all. Knowing that it would not do to start an argument, she simply nodded and murmured sounds that might have been mistaken for assent, until the dance was done.

He bowed, told her what a pleasure it had been, dimpling beautifully, and then he went to find his next partner.

Mr. Collins then sidled up to Elizabeth, causing her considerable anxiety, until he said, “I had hoped to dance with Miss Mary. It has been impressed on me from more than one source that she is the lady most likely to ensure my future happiness, but I see that she is occupied at the piano.”

“Yes, she is in much demand for her considerable musical abilities,” Elizabeth said, happy to praise her sister. “But never fear, for I shall take her place and you may have your dance with her.”

She was promptly told that she was everything good and amiable, and these assurances made it some minutes before she was able to leave him to in order to make good on her promise.

“Go on, Mary,” she whispered. “Mr. Collins wants to dance with you.”

“With me ?”

“Yes; I told him I would take your place at the piano.”

Mary required no further encouragement, and Elizabeth sat back down at the instrument, happy that Mr. Collins was finally showing some inclination toward the only sister who would accept him, but still quite concerned for Mr. Darcy.

Lady Lucas finally announced that it was time for supper and cards; the furniture and rugs were soon restored and the gathering grew more sedate.

Elizabeth saw Lieutenant Wickham flit from one small group to another, and she was not surprised to learn that by the end of the evening, everyone had heard his story about Mr. Darcy’s perfidy, this despite Lieutenant Wickham’s earlier statement that he did not wish the particulars to become known to all.

“You cannot possibly believe it, Jane!” Elizabeth said as the Bennet ladies made their way home in the carriage.

“No, I do not, for Mr. Bingley assured me that it was impossible for Mr. Darcy to behave so!” Jane agreed at once.

Mary also agreed, saying that Mr. Darcy appeared every inch an honourable gentleman, but Kitty and Lydia were entirely supportive of Lieutenant Wickham.

“There was truth in his face!” Kitty insisted, while Lydia maintained that no man as handsome as Lieutenant Wickham could tell a falsehood. Upon being applied to, Mrs. Bennet only said that it was impossible to know which man to believe, and was that not just the way that men were.

Upon arriving home, Elizabeth tore off her outerwear and made her way immediately to her father’s study. “Papa,” she said, throwing the door open after just one quick knock.

“Lizzy? Is something wrong?” Mr. Bennet half rose from his chair.

“Something is very wrong, and you must put a stop to it.”

“Indeed! What is it?”

Elizabeth explained, in as few words as possible, the unfortunate scene between Mr. Darcy and Lieutenant Wickham, and the Lieutenant’s subsequent explanation.

“Impossible,” Mr. Bennet declared.

“That is my feeling as well, but Kitty and Lydia believe Mr. Wickham’s story and will not hesitate to share it.”

“Leave it with me, Lizzy.”

***

Mr. Bennet was as good as his word, for the next morning he spoke to his youngest daughters as the family gathered together for breakfast. “I understand that you have a new favourite, a Lieutenant Wickham,” he observed, looking at Lydia.

“Oh, Papa! He is so handsome! I swear, I would have died if he had asked me to dance!” Lydia said, hand on her heart.

“Then it is just as well that he did not. You have, I understand, heard the sad tale that he shared with everyone in the room?” Mr. Bennet’s tone was mild, but his daughters had heard such a paternal tone before and were immediately on alert.

“Well, Mr. Darcy did not deny it,” Kitty began.

“Oh! I must have misunderstood; I was given to understand that Mr. Darcy had left the room.”

“He did, but –“

“Ah, he was in no position to deny it, then?”

“I suppose not, but –“

Mr. Collins had to have his say. “I know not what this Wickham person has said, but I can assure all of you that my patroness would be most distressed to learn that any credence was being given to anything whatever that denigrated the man who is, in fact, her favourite nephew.”

“Thank you, Mr. Collins,” Mr. Bennet said. “This nonsense being spouted by this Mr. Wickham –“

“Lieutenant Wickham,” Lydia interrupted, unwisely.

“I do not care if he is General Wickham! It is not to be repeated by any member of this family.”

Mrs. Bennet, who had been silent until now, felt compelled to enter the fray. “Mr. Bennet, there is no reason for the girls to be chastised.”

“Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, Lydia, I beg you to listen carefully to my next sentence. Any Bennet who repeats this scurrilous gossip will lose their pin money for the next quarter. Do you understand me?”

Kitty and Lydia had to agree that yes, they understood, but they both promptly jumped from their chairs and ran upstairs. Mrs. Bennet only scowled and shook her head.

“Someone should warn Mr. Darcy of the terrible things that Lieutenant Wickham said about him,” Elizabeth said.