Page 46 of A Quiet Man
"Youaresparkling," Auden admitted with a smile. He gave compliments easily, and he meant them; it seemed to cost him nothing to build up someone else. "And adorable. Really, how dare you?"
Cody laughed, looking flattered, and grabbed a plate to fill.
The three of them had a good evening of relaxing, eating, chatting, watching a movie. It was one that Auden had been meaning to review on his blog, and he offered a great and funny commentary that made the movie enjoyable, even if it wasn't the best movie ever. Best of all, Cody seemed more like himself. That was a huge relief. After a few hours, he took his leave, giving them each another hug and saying he'd see Tomas at work tomorrow. All in all, it was a satisfying interaction.
"It's nice to have a friend as a couple," Tomas told Auden later. "And it doesn't seem to be weird for any of us. I like that."
Auden wrapped his arms around Tomas and rested his head against Tomas's chest. "I like that, too. I like everything about us."
"Me too." Tomas carded his fingers carefully through Auden's silky hair, debating inwardly. Would it spoil the mood if he brought up sex? He felt close to Auden, and relaxed and confident enough that it would probably be a good way to end the day, rather than a source of stress or insecurity, especially if Auden liked the idea.
"I like your heartbeat," Auden said quietly, muffled against Tomas's chest. He listened in silence for a moment, then added even more quietly, "It's like you. Quiet and strong and trustworthy."
Tomas felt a big smile growing on his face. Trust Auden to get poetic about a heartbeat, and to see the things about Tomas that others sometimes saw as flaws — quietness, a boring tendency to do what he was supposed to and stick to routines without varying — as good things.
It felt amazing for someone as special as Auden to see strengths in him, to be unabashedly pro-Tomas. To even love hisheartbeat.
"Thanks," Tomas said softly. It wasn't what he wanted to say — there was more — but it was all he could say at the moment.
"I love you," said Auden. "I mean, I really do. I hope you know that. I sometimes can't believe you picked me, that you see something worthwhile in me. I mean, you could have had Cody — you know you could have. Or anybody! But you pickedme."
"I love you, too," Tomas said, starting to get choked up. "And I think it was a mutual choice, don't you?" He didn't know how to explain that he felt just as lucky, that sometimes, he couldn't believe this was real — someone who loved him as he was, without expecting him to change or be more than he was. It felt like a miracle, like a dream, something you wouldn't believe was real if you read about it. He was still just himself, but Auden loved him.
Auden's laugh was small, soft, and pleased as he hugged his arms around Tomas more tightly, holding on to him like he wanted never to let go. It wasn't humor that made him laugh, but sheer happiness, Tomas realized. That was a good reason to laugh. "Oh, Tomas."
Tomas wanted to shout, or sing, or do something crazy. Being so open about their feelings was unexpectedly amazing. "Hey, Auden." He rubbed Auden's arms.
"Yes?"
"I think we should have sex now. I mean, if that sounds good to you. And then you should move in with me, for real."
Auden drew back with a startled laugh and raised his face to look at Tomas. "What, in that order?" He was grinning, definitely not turned off by the abrupt suggestions.
"Yes." Tomas drew him closer and kissed him. "I'm tired of pretending it's okay with me if you only visit, if you only stay the night sometimes. I want to live together. You like it here, and there's room. There's definitely room for you." He meant more than in his home, but those were all the words he had in him, and if he tried to say more, he'd get choked up.
Fortunately, Auden kissed him back. And he didn't argue.
I'll win this one yet, Tomas thought, feeling triumphant and just slightly smug. It would be easy to win this, because Auden wanted to give in.
"I shouldn't let you," said Auden. "I shouldn't let you take care of me all the time, I mean."
"Shouldn't you?"
They kissed again. Auden was definitely getting into it; sex had been a good suggestion. Tomas congratulated himself silently on his good choice.
"I should stand on my own two feet or something," Auden mumbled distractedly.
"Should you?" Tomas scooped him off his feet and headed towards the bedroom carrying his boyfriend, who laughed and laughed, and held on to him for all he was worth.
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EPILOGUE
Tomas braced himself. An email from Justin — just what he didn't want to face right now. It wasn't going to be an apology, because Justin didn't have anything to apologize for right now. That meant it was the other part of the pattern — where he'd say something he had to apologize for later.
Great. And I thought he was doing so much better.
Well, he was going to worry about it till he opened it, so he held his breath and clicked. The email read: