Page 28 of A Quiet Man

"No, no. It's not that. I'm kind of...out of my depth here. I haven't had a lot of relationships." That was one way to put it. Good lord, had he had any? Having sex in college (and mistaking those attempts at relationships for more than the hookups they actually were) wasn't exactly something to brag about. And his life experiences before and after were even more lacking when it came to dating.

"Really? But you're so beautiful. It's hard to imagine you being single for long."

"Well, I have been." Tomas's answer was a bit firmer (and a bit grumpier) than it should have been.

Auden studied him. "When you want to tell me about it, I'm ready. If you want to. But it doesn't have to be today. Just...when you feel comfortable." He put an arm around Tomas in return and hugged him hard.

Tomas sighed, closing his eyes. Great. Now he'd made Auden think he had a tragic past or something — a partner he'd lost in some awful, heartbreaking way. He felt guilty about that, but also glad he'd bought some time. "I'm not great at talking about this kind of thing," he admitted. "So, take pity on me if I seem a little clueless. I really am."

Auden's laugh was soft and pleased. "I like you the way you are. You don't have to be anybody else."

I hope that's true.

Tomas turned his face towards the sky, blinking several times. It wasn't like him to feel so choked up about a simple statement. A statement that held such worlds of compassion and tenderness.

"I like your partner," Auden said after a few moments. "And not just because he gave me a big tip. He's a lot nicer than I thought wolf shifters would be. Well, I didn't think they were all jerks, but he's so big, yet there's nothing...forceful or fierce about him. I guess I bought into a stereotype without realizing it."

"Rileyispretty special," Tomas agreed, glad the focus of the conversation had shifted off him. "He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He hasn't had an easy life, but he's in a lot better place now." He thought of Riley, happily married, settled in his career and family life, where even when problems troubled him, they were things that could be fixed. "He's the best friend I've ever had."

Auden sighed softly. "I wish I had that. A friend like that, I mean. I don't mean I want to steal yours."

Tomas laughed. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind being your friend. He thought you were pretty great after meeting you one time. Although between work, his husband, and their foster kids, I'm not sure how much time he'd have to hang out."

"Oh, geez. I wouldn't want to monopolize him. I was just talking. Foster kids..." Auden sounded thoughtful, rather sad. "I almost ended up as a foster kid. At the last minute, my grandma was able to take me, but her health was pretty bad, and it was touch and go. I used to be scared she would die and someone would take me away. And then I felt bad for thinking about myself when her health was so bad." His sigh was sad. "We looked after each other, though, and we both made it."

"You haven't had it easy, have you?" Tomas said, once again speaking before he could think. "I mean—"

"No, it's okay. It's the truth. But I'm doing all right. Things could be worse, and I'm glad they're not. And really, it's not so weird for a kid to think about themselves sometimes, and how scary it would be to be alone."

You've got more in common with Riley than I'd have guessed. Tomas tightened his hug gently, feeling even more protective. "No, of course not."

Tomas felt like Auden was speaking from experience when he said things could be worse, and he tried not to imagine all the ways Auden might have suffered. His imagination was going into overdrive tonight, and he needed to curb it.

"Besides, I've met you now, and that makes everything feel more like a fairy tale." Auden sighed happily, then hurried on. "That makes me sound — shit, I don't mean a fairy tale like you have to be my Prince Charming and rescue me. Man, how pathetic would that be? I mean like a happy ending. Not that I need a happy ending. This is happy enough. I mean — shit!"

Tomas wrapped both arms around Auden and pulled him closer to quiet him. "Hush. I know what you meant." He sighed then, softly. Auden felt so real, so warm (except for the parts of him that were cold) pressed up against Tomas. It felt right to have him in his arms, ratty old coat and people watching and everything. "Don't think I haven't been wishing I could rescue you, even if you don't actually need it."

"Oh." The frantic tension left Auden, and he went soft in Tomas's arms. "I really like hearing that. Thanks."

Tomas wondered if he was supposed to be kissing Auden now, but then he decided he didn't care what he was supposed to be doing. This felt right. This moment, hugging — it was good, and he could enjoy it without wondering what someone else would do.

This was his life, not someone else's. And holding Auden felt very, very good.

Auden said hesitantly, "Should we take this somewhere else?"

"No, here is good," said Tomas, and Auden relaxed against him. "I mean, if you don't mind hugging in public. But you kissed me, so I hardly think this is worse."

Auden's laugh was shaky. "No. Here is good."

#

"Justin is cutting backhis hours," Riley said without preamble when they met next morning at work. "Can you believe it?" He lowered his voice and leaned closer. "He wants to help more with the kids."

Why that was something to keep secret, Tomas didn't know. "Really? That's great."

"Yes, but how did he get the boss to agree to it? He won't lose this job too, will he? For being uncooperative? I don't think we can afford that house and taking care of our kids properly on just my salary. What if—"

"Riley," Tomas interrupted, "this is a good thing! Don't look for trouble. I'm sure they're not going to fire Justin." If anything, being around him less should make him more welcome at the precinct. He was far more bearable in limited quantities. Not that he was about to say that aloud. "He'll do his job, solve some stuff, and be there for you and the kids. What could be better?"