Page 23 of A Quiet Man

That was the closest he could come to criticizing his husband, and it was further than Tomas liked to push him. Loyalty was the biggest part of Riley's personality. To be in a position between his husband and his partner, feeling he had to side with one or the other, yet not wanting to turn against either — it would be incredibly painful for him.

"Let's not talk about this anymore right now. We don't have to."

Riley nodded tightly, looking away. He rubbed a hand across his mouth. For a moment, he looked tired and old. Not the sweet, almost innocent guy Tomas had partnered with, but a man who felt every year of his age, and the weight of every burden that was currently resting on his shoulders.

After a moment, he said, "If you need someone to listen, you know I wouldn't judge you. For dating a man, that is."

Was that what he thought Tomas's prickliness was about, confusion over dating a man? It certainly wasn't the top spot. In fact, it was hardly on the radar as a problem, except for how awkward and uncertain Tomas had felt, how exposed, knowing he was very obviously on a date, in public, with another guy. He'd never done that before, and he still didn't know the rules. But at the same time, none of that felt like a serious issue, either. Not something to angst over, or something that might cause the relationship to end in an untimely manner.

"I don't mind that he's a man."

Riley gave him a gently curious look, as if he really couldn't figure Tomas out. "You've never said one word about dating men. Ever."

"I don't date a lot. It's not..." Tomas tried to choose his words carefully. He still felt prickly and on edge about the whole topic, but he tried to strip away the confusion and defensiveness. If he could trust anyone with this, it ought to be Riley. Maybe he'd even be a help in formulating how to talk with Auden about this.

He sighed. "I'm not really interested in dating to have sex. I only want to be with someone if it's a lot more than that." He looked at Riley nervously, aware his heart was beating too hard, that this felt far more important and scary than it ought to. "Maybe even everything else but that."

Riley absorbed it without a blink, nodding slightly, as if it didn't surprise him in the least. Was that why he'd talked about Tomas not dating — because he already knew Tomas wasn't interested in sex? Was it something he'd known with his wolf senses? If it was just part of how Riley perceived him, there would certainly be no judgment meant in discussing it. He wasn't judgmental.

"That's what I thought," said Riley. "You never seemed interested in anybody."

Tomas grimaced and rubbed his forehead a little. "It's confusing. We've been on one date so far. Well, one and a half. I like him a lot, but it's early. We hadn't talked about sex. I didn't expect to be dating at all. But he's..." He made a frustrated sound in his throat. He didn't even have the language to describe his infatuation without falling back on clichés about sexual attractiveness that didn't fit his feelings. "He's really special. I don't know. I don't know what'll happen."

Riley perked up. "Oh, I know. Let me meet him, just casually, and I'll get a good sense of him and tell you my impressions."

"What do you mean? You mean, smell out whether he's just interested in sex with me or not?" Tomas was a little appalled — how like spying that sounded, what an invasion of privacy! — and yet it would really help him to know. And Riley couldn't really help what he smelled, now, could he? Tomas felt guilty for even entertaining the idea. "Could you even know something like that?"

"That's not quite what I meant." Riley had the decency to look abashed. "I meant, I'd love to get a sense of what kind of person he is, and his intentions towards you. I mean, youaremy partner."

Tomas interrupted, leaning forward, suddenly desperate for input. "How long do you think I should wait to talk to him about sex — or, well, wanting something more from the relationship? Will I be leading him on if I wait? But the first or second date feels too soon. I don't know what to do, here."

Riley covered one of Tomas's hands with his own huge one. "Let me meet him. I'm a good judge of character. I'll tell you what I think — and I won't be creepy, or discuss this with anyone else, okay?"

Tomas leaned back and blew out his breath. He felt a sense of relief, of rightness. "Okay."

Of course Riley should be involved. Riley, his best friend, who knew him better than his own brother did. Riley, who believed in soulmates and life partners and marriage, who'd learned to trust his senses and impressions and instincts. Who better to give Tomas the sort of input and encouragement that might actually help? Why hadn't he thought of it himself?

#

They ended up talkingmore about it later, in the car together. Of course they couldn't leave the subject alone after all of that. Now, the dam was open.

"At first, I thought everyone else was just pretending to be obsessed with sex, that it was a — a kind of act." He thought sadly of how painful it had been to realize that no, really, he was the odd one out here. It wasn't that every single person was obsessed with sex all the time, but a lot of people were, a lot of the time, and it had the cumulative effect of making Tomas feel very alienated if he thought about it too hard. Which he tried not to do, but of course, being Tomas, he did it anyway.

"So, you've never been interested in sex?" Riley studied him thoughtfully. "Don't get me wrong. I don't think that's strange. I didn't want to do it at all until I met Justin."

Good ol' Justin.Everything comes back to him. And that was definitely an image he didn't need in his head: Riley and Justin having sex. He truly believed they both loved each other, that Justin wasn't just using the sweet, tractable wolf shifter — but he still didn't want to think about them in bed together. It was repulsive on a level deeper than words, an instinct of disgust like imagining relatives' sex lives.

Tomas shrugged. "I don't know how to articulate any of it. I barely know how to think about it," Tomas said, sounding irritated and realizing how frustrating this all was. "I used to think other people were faking — or, well, at least exaggerating. Pretending to be interested in sex all the time."

"All the time?"

"As a top priority, an intrusive thought process. An endless fascination. I thought it was a sort of one-upsmanship thing. A silly game people play."

"Sometimes I think it is," Riley agreed cautiously. "But sometimes it isn't."

"Yeah, and that's — I just don't feel that way." In fact, he thought it was bizarre. Sex as a topic was so boring after a while. Sure, he'd been curious at times, and it wasn't like the experience itself was terrible, but he could more easily imagine becoming obsessed with theme parks than with the next time he'd have sex, and Tomas didn't care one way or the other about theme parks. There were so many more interesting things in the world. Why did people fixate on sex? And why did nobody seem to notice how weird it was? He certainly hadn't met anyone willing to shout it from the rooftops:Sex is overrated. You all are obsessed with something dull.

Riley twisted his hands together nervously. "I think there are words to describe it. But let's not worry about the words. I know you're not the only one who feels that way. I'm sure you aren't. Some people just aren't interested in all of that. I don't think you should feel bad. If you were a wolf, I'd say you'll feel enough of that when you meet your mate, so why worry before? But maybe you wouldn't; I don't know. I know I was interested in my mate. He was worth it, and it's good with him. So maybe if you find your person, the one you love, it'll be great. But it might matter to this man you're dating, so maybe you'll want to talk about it first? I don't know. I'm not great at giving advice."