Page 17 of A Quiet Man

But now he was planning out the thought of a future like it was no big deal.I guess the way they feel about Riley makes me feel safe. The thing was, he knew that he was safe — even if there was an adjustment period, he knew that these days, they would be fine with him settling down with a man, if that was who he fell in love with. Whether anyone would hint hopefully at the idea of adopting some grandkids to go with it was a bigger question to him at this point in his life. They had changed their minds and attitudes about gay relationships. There were even things they'd hinted at or danced around. They would be fine with him dating a man, eventually. Maybe even right away.

He wondered again about Auden. What did he want from a relationship, if he even wanted one? Auden seemed to be a little younger than Tomas. Maybe he never dreamed of wanting to settle down yet — maybe sex was the major thing to him for now, or always would be. Still, he'd been fun to hang out with, and the thought that there could be something between them, something good and deep and long-lasting, made Tomas excited in a way he hadn't been in some time.

He was obviously thinking ahead too far, but he tended to do that about most things, sometimes to his extreme detriment. Usually, by the time he'd started thinking about how the world would end, he knew he'd gone too far — but he'd usually gone too far before that, such as when he found himself thinking sadly of losing everyone he loved, and how Riley would eventually get fed up with him and demand a new partner, and of course his parents and grandparents wouldn't live forever, and since his brother was older, Tomas would probably outlive him, too. At least his nieces would go on for a bit longer, before the sun eventually expanded and absorbed the earth in a ball of fire.

It was nasty, the places his brain went when he let it rev too long on such ponderings. Not that he could avoid it; he'd never found the solution to turning off his brain, simply steering it to better, more hopeful subjects.

But his mind hadn't gone on a lot of long, sad trips when he was hanging out with Auden. He'd felt happy, excited to be alive. That was definitely worth pursuing, although cautiously, strategically. In his experience, people who made you feel that way, and with whom you shared a weird sense of humor and some kind of chemistry, were few and far between, and if you found one, you were lucky indeed.

He realized he would be perfectly happy to have Auden as a friend, but part of him was hoping it might be something more.

He texted reassuring things back to Riley and agreed to meet Cody for lunch at the taco truck. There was just enough time to finish up a few chores he'd been putting off and stop by the library to drop off and pick up a few books. Then he whipped up a couple of meals that he put into various containers in the fridge and freezer so he'd have food for the weeknights when he didn't have energy to cook. Afterwards, he felt accomplished and nowhere near as downcast as he had when he woke up this morning. He even felt capable of skirting the line between friendly and professional for hanging out with Cody.

But when he got there, he realized Cody had apparently decided to blow away the line completely.

"Fancy meeting you here." The fox shifter bounded up to him with a big grin on his face. He didn't seem nearly as collected and sleek as he did at work. Today, he was wearing skinny jeans and an unbuttoned acid-washed jeans jacket that flapped in the breeze over a ratty band tee. His hair was messy and unkempt in the strong gusts of wind that periodically shook the city. His cheeks were flushed with the cold. He wasn't wearing a hat, and the t-shirt had holes in it. There was very clearly no layering underneath. Tomas felt cold just looking at him.

"You're warm enough like that?" Tomas asked before he could stop himself. He wondered guiltily if he should offer Cody his coat, but he really didn't want to. It had gotten even colder than it had been this morning.

"Yeah, yeah." Cody waved it away. "Fast metabolism, remember? I'm fine. But I could hardly wait for you to get here!"

"You could've started without me."

"I did." Cody gave Tomas a disreputable grin, and Tomas felt slightly off-balance, wondering if he'd gotten the wrong end of the stick somehow. "I ate the ones I ordered already. They wouldn't have stayed warm till you got here, anyway. Go on, order us some more. Pretend they're mostly for you."

"Oh, aren't they?"

"No, because you eat like a fucking sparrow — except sparrows actually eat a lot, so what does that say about you?" He gave Tomas a playful push towards the taco truck.

Soon, they were sitting contentedly in Tomas's car, munching their tacos, because Tomas really wanted to get out of the wind to eat, even if it didn't bother Cody at all, apparently.

"So, you're pretty immune to the weather, then? That must be nice."

"I find hot summers a little harder. How are you doing? You seem much happier than yesterday."

"You do, too. Although a little underdressed."

"What, does my t-shirt offend you? I'm not dressing up for you, sorry! Not unless this is a date and you promise to show me a really good time." Cody's grin was almost a leer.

Tomas tried not to choke on his taco. The inside of his car smelled really good with all the food aromas. He'd never been the sort to forbid eating in his car. Fortunately, because sometimes Riley felt too anxious and shy to eat in front of people, so they'd sit in the car and have lunch. That didn't happen very often anymore, but when they'd first started working together, it was a more than occasional occurrence.

This guy really wasn't like his shy, nervous partner. Well, shocker: not all shifters had the same personality. But he was used to being extra considerate and careful around shifters, cautious and gentle, not dealing with ones who could hold their own, much less flirt and banter so easily.

"This isn't a date, and I don't intend to show you a good time." Tomas wondered if he'd spoken too harshly, so he tried to soften it by adding, "I'll show you a really rotten time — the inside of my car, for instance."

Cody gave him a small, lopsided grin. "I'm just teasing. You don't have to get so nervous." He studied Tomas thoughtfully, which made Tomas feel a bit exposed. It wasn't a hostile gaze, just a very aware, intent, curious one. "I guess people hit on you a lot, and it gets kind of old after a while."

Tomas shrugged, feeling awkward. If he said yes, it would sound like he was bragging, but he really didn't like most of the attention he got for his looks from either men or women. "I guess everyone has their cross to bear," he said lightly. "So, tell me—"

"No," interrupted Cody. "Every time I want to talk about you, you change the subject. If it's completely off the table, then say that. But don't try to change the subject. I'd like to know a little more about you — and, you know, I'll be less likely to say something that upsets you if you actually let me understand you." His gaze was intent but not unkind.

Tomas couldn't think of anything, so he didn't say a word. Cody continued to watch him for a moment, then added, "You seem uncomfortable around the subject of sex and dating. So, is that off the table entirely? It's okay if it is."

"It's not an easy or happy subject for me right now. I'm not..." Tomas licked his lips lightly, trying to find the right words for what he meant without giving away too much or delving into deep, private, personal stuff he didn't necessarily want to bare in front of Cody. Then he noticed Cody's gaze had gotten a lot more intent, focused on his mouth.

He decided to just come out with it. "I'm not flirting with you. And I don't want to have sex. I mean, in general, I'm not a big fan, and I'm definitely not interested in having it with you. Sorry if that's harsh, but it's the truth."

Cody snapped out of his staring and nodded several times, his face going nearly blank and then turning up into a smile. "All right. It's good you said. I'm not always—" He swallowed. "Despite my gut instincts and my fox senses, I don't always know how to read people — whether they're interested or not, that is. Some shifters say they can always tell, but I've never been that fortunate." His smile was self-deprecating and rather regretful now, but still friendly, even kind. "Thanks for explaining."